Recondite
by rosinban
Summary: Recondite – dealing with very profound, difficult or abstruse subject matter. In the mind of a 24 year old professional chess player, apparent death and reincarnation into a world of ninja certainly falls under the category of "recondite". Semi SI / OC insert
1. The Life (and death) of One Human

**Title :**

Recondite

 **Description :**

Recondite – dealing with very profound, difficult or abstruse subject matter. In the mind of a 24 year old professional chess player, apparent death and reincarnation into a world of ninja certainly falls under the category of "recondite". Semi SI / OC insert

 **Characters :**

OC , Shikamaru Nara, Yamanaka Ino

 **Genre :**

Adventure

 **Rated :**

T for language and a bit of violence.

 **Pairings :**

None – yet.

.

.

The originals of chapters 1 – 9 were beta-d by **Fayth85**.

Bless her, and I wish her luck in any future endeavours that will hopefully be more interesting than helping an insecure preteen write fanfiction.

Considering how this story literally instantly fell apart the moment she left, I feel indebted to her for keeping this train wreck (i.e. my sloppy writing habits) together for as long as she did.

.

[edit 1/4/2016: generally improved the quality of writing in this chapter, as well as making it more consistent]

[edit 23/5/2017: more corrections and a sincere apology for keeping this on hold for as long as I did.]

* * *

You know, I've always seen more than others have.

Even when I was young, I used to spend my time in nursery stewing by myself. Other children happily stuffed blocks into their mouths and wiped dribble on each other, as children generally do - and I won't be arrogant and say I wasn't equally as prone to drooling or temper tantrums - yet actually interacting with them never held any appeal to me.

Still doesn't, really.

Occasionally, if my parents or the nursery workers encouraged me, I would (with minimal complaining) settle with the other girls and their dolls. Yet attempting to join in with the other children who were hosting five separate tea parties, spent the entire day speaking in mildly ear-piercing falsettos, and tasked me with washing sand out of the doll's plastic hair – well, it was exhausting and not particularly to my taste, and so I'd be in the corner again the next day.

And watched, and learned.

Because, although it was hardly obvious in a room of 5 year olds, every movement had strings attached. Someone would come out better; someone would come out worse, sometimes it turned into strange symbiotic relationships - always with motives, with thoughts, with personality mixed in there somewhere.

Of course, five year old me didn't recognise any of that at all, being barely out of her toddler years. It was more a matter that she was rather lazy and preferred watching from the sidelines.

Yet this developed into a rather obsessive habit, and out of partly brotherly affection and partly a need for me to stop being such a weird kid – and honestly, I'd put my money on the latter - my older brother introduced chess to me.

Needless to say, I loved it

As an added bonus for my family, with a newfound healthy outlet for my thoughts, I also stopped meticulously detailing their every habit. It'd long since gone from 'a little weird, but still cute' to 'creepy as fuck'.

Regardless, for me it was finally a practical application for my observation, a way for me to have problems freely presented to me, and I was _addicted_. Really, there wasn't any way to pass my interest off as 'casual' or a 'hobby'.

After all, a year later, I was the best in my chess club.

Then the best in my county.

Another few years, then the best in the country.

It all lead up to the World Chess Championship. Admittedly, my odds on the bookie's end weren't good – 'Best in the country' was fine and dandy, but that didn't change the fact I was still a relatively untested player faring against _champions_ \- yet I was determined to win.

After all, why would I aim for anything less?

I suppose it's rather ironic that, as I stared up to seemingly unreachable heights, working myself up for such a huge make-or-break moment in my life, I would end up dying in a rather anticlimactic manner.

Although I never really _wanted_ to die, I did reflect on it at some point during my life – teenage existential crisis and all. Chances were that I would live to over 60 and die rotting away in some old care home as the world spun on without me - and I decided it wouldn't have to come to that. Honestly, it wouldn't be worthwhile to go through the process of dementia just to complain about arthritis, or play bingo, or whatever old people did with the rest of their lives.

Though – thankfully - I never had to enact my "die young" plan in the end, due to extenuating circumstances.

Those circumstances being the minibus suddenly braking, my head flying forward and giving me serious brain injury.

.

And that is how Naomi Harper, chess extraordinaire, aged 24 years, 3 months and 7 days, died.

* * *

From my side of things, it was one moment of falling forwards, a split second of agony and then...black. Thoughts evaded me as I drifted into something akin to sleep, goaded into rest by the tender warmth all around me. I suppose I stayed like that for a while, though I never really dwelled on it.

In hindsight, it'd be rather difficult to do so with an underdeveloped brain.

That is, of course, until it ended.

It felt like being simultaneously crushed, blinded and frozen. Forcibly ejected from my place of warmth, thrust into light so blinding it _burned_ , skin frozen and horribly exposed. Naturally, I opened my mouth to curse – I felt swearing was incredibly appropriate in this situation – but instead of the reflexive profanity I expected to come out, I began full-out bawling.

Not that I intended to, however my mind was overloaded. Processing anything beyond the sudden awakening of senses that had been deadened for so long took mental fortitude I quite simply didn't have (after all, who prepares for the sensation of being _born again_ ) – and after sobbing my heart out, my next instinct was to collapse.

And that is what I did.

My sleep was fitful, to say the least. Constantly I woke, immediately to start crying, whether from hunger, the strange noises and disjointed visions, or simply because my mind just couldn't process what was happening, and that _terrified_ me. However, over the next few hours, or days, or weeks, or however long it was, I gradually grew used to the itching underneath my skin, even if I couldn't quite eliminate the buzzing of static in my ears. Light returned back to normal levels (well, it was no longer like permanently staring at the sun) and the previously distorted colours merged into clearer images.

At the very least, it was clear I was a baby, since I find the chances of everyone becoming giants incredibly small. Or... well, I didn't really know. My limbs felt like lead, and I had difficulty chasing any particular thought train before it completely evaded me. Thank god I spent an unholy amount of time sleeping – I don't think I could deal with the shame of being fully conscious while nappy changing.

And all the other stuff.

Especially breastfeeding.

Being a baby really gave me a newfound appreciation for being a fully-grown and independent adult.

In any case, I was an extremely lethargic baby. If I wasn't crying to try to attract attention to my permanently empty stomach, I was sleeping or half conscious, lost in my own thoughts.

Or, at least, trying to regain my thoughts.

Frustration was a prevailing emotion as theories and ideas and, really, anything of _higher comprehension_ simply slipped out of my mind. Everything was a blur of foreign colour, and seldom could I summon the concentration to try to make heads or tails out of any of it.

Yet they did occasionally come and go, and in one of those rare moments of clarity, I saw a woman's kindly face leaning over me.

It was almost as if I was watching everything underwater. Although I could clearly define it as a face, each plane of her face seemed blurred, tinted strange colours. Fast motions turned into obscure rainbows of colour. Every sensation was dull, not really associated to me, to my skin.

Distantly, through the buzzing in my ears, I could just discern a few words in... what I could only assume to be Japanese, from my rather limited knowledge of Asian languages. "- - - - - -, Satoko-chan? - - okaa-san -."

Well, at least I had some semblance of where I was. Likely I was in Japan - or at the very least, a Japanese speaking country, and my name was presumably 'Satoko'.

Well, there were worse names.

After all, I could be named Sakura, if my parents had been particularly unimaginative.

Unfortunately, there was no discernible accent that could be used to identify where I was. In fact, there was nothing I could use to pinpoint a region, from the itchy fabric beneath me to what I could make out as an utterly plain white ceiling.

Well, it was probably white. It also had the tendency to randomly flicker through various other shades, much like the iridescence that comes from a thin layer of oil on top of water.

Although, while I could still (relatively) think without a monster of a headache immediately knocking me out, I might as well take advantage of it. Should I reveal the extent of my knowledge or hide it?

Well, hiding it would be a slog, frankly put. I really was not fond of the idea of acting like a newborn, with all the gurgling, drooling, and general behaviour associated with that mental stage. Yet I still had very little information on wherever the hell I was, so making a decision could wait until I wasn't unconscious half the day.

In any case, this was most likely an elaborate dream from whatever coma my body was in now. Why else wouldn't I be able to move? It certainly explained the incoherent voices and perceptions.

Actually, that was a pretty good theory. Well done, brain.

However, then it occurred to me that I had no idea how old this 'body' was (if it was one at all, and not just a vision cooked up by my dreaming mind). For all I knew, I was already considered a dunce for spending so much time lying around screaming, and my pride demanded that even my dream people were not allowed to call me unintelligent. Not a chance.

So, putting all my effort into manipulating my rubbery lips, I croaked out a belated "Kaa." My tongue felt like a paperweight rather than a muscle, and my vocal chords were hoarse. Frowning from the onset of yet another headache, I slipped back into blissful sleep.

* * *

If Wakana Koike were to describe herself, she would probably say "average". No, not kind, happy, gloomy or even selfish – merely "average".

Self-esteem issues, perhaps, however when confronted with the question of what made her stand out – well, there was a resounding _nothing_ that she could think of that distinguished her from any other Fire Country citizen.

Wakana was no more kind than any other wife in the village was, nor eternally happy or gloomy. In fact, there were almost no distinguishing features about her at all, although she liked to think her hair was fairly silky. She went to the village school, where she received mediocre grades. She was healthy, although she wasn't going to lie and say she was particularly fit. She married Takuya, the middle son to one of a million farming families a few miles out in the countryside, and they became Takuya and Wakana Koike. One day, she dreamed to raise a few kids and retire to grow old in peace.

Utterly unremarkable in every way, shape and form.

Needless to say, Wakana did not expect this from her only child.

There were no complications before or during birth – in fact, the two midwives that had been present had reaffirmed the point several times in response to her dogged questioning. Yet, for god knows what reason, her child came out with a ridiculously developed chakra system – one that was extreme for a shinobi family, never mind the daughter of two _average_ civilians.

This wasn't what she wanted.

After all, she wanted a little bundle to snuggle up with, not a ninja-in-training. There wasn't a chance she was letting her precious Satoko-chan join the military to become a _murderer for hire_.

Even if the issue of discarding things like _human decency_ wasn't enough, there was the simple truth that as a civilian, she would undoubtedly become cannon fodder – no 'ifs' or 'buts'. It wasn't just her - everyone knew civilians were just thrown at opponents far out of their league, in the hope they'd slow them down as they paused to mow the ill-trained civilians down.

Thank goodness Satoko showed no signs of being a genius – she would be spirited away to Konohagakure no Sato faster than she could say "ninja".

On the contrary, Satoko was a very sleepy child. Most of the time, she was asleep.

In fact, Wakana didn't think she'd ever seen her daughter's eyes fully open, and she was quite certain those weren't signs of a blossoming genius.

However, during just one of the hours she spent sitting by her child in the nursery, she saw Satoko awake. Lucid. Golden eyes, fully aware, locked onto her face, almost seeming overly conscious after 5 months of near-constant sleeping. Forcing back tears, she softly held her daughter's hand.

"Hello, Satoko-chan. I'm your mother."

For a few moments, Satoko drifted into another half-conscious state. A bitter smile twisted her lips – what was she expecting a 5-month-old baby to do, anyway?

"Kaa."

Abruptly, her head twisted around so fast she felt like she might have given herself whiplash. She shouldn't have – no, how – _was her little baby a prodigy_? No, her sickly little Satoko couldn't be. It was probably a coincidence. Yes, that's right. She calmed her breathing. Just a coincidence. She doesn't spend enough time lucid to formulate coherent thoughts, let alone words.

Nevertheless, her fears prevailed as Satoko slipped back into sleep, a soft frown at odds with her resting face.

They would never take her child.

She wouldn't be spirited away like her little brother, left to die – no, Satoko-chan would be safe from ever seeing such monstrosities.

* * *

After my first period of lucidity, they came to me far more frequently, and it only took a few weeks of scrambling for consciousness to realise that this wasn't anywhere in the developed world. Although, for the life of me, I couldn't think of an undeveloped country that primarily spoke Japanese.

God, I missed Google.

There was also the fact that, nine times out of ten, mother sat beside me, smiling softly.

However, generally I tried to ignore the fact that it meant she was watching me sleep, mainly because it made me feel all kinds of uncomfortable. Not just because I didn't know her, but also that I couldn't exactly tell her to _leave_ , either. 'Hiding intense discomfort from excessive surveillance' wasn't the best plan, but it was really the only one available.

And that was great and all, but I was bored as hell.

My adult mind simply couldn't cope with long periods of inactivity, and mother made no effort to teach me the language, although I must have been a solid prodigy by now – which, of course, raised more questions.

Why would she deliberately stunt my learning? Not having time or funds was ruled out – her clothes, although not elaborate, were well kept, clean and fresh and still soft, meaning there was probably some money stuffed away in the piggy bank across the room. No calluses were on her hands either, meaning she was purely a homemaker. Moreover, obviously she had the time, judging by how long she spent sitting around, watching me sleep or whatever she did in the "nursery", as she referred to it as.

Really, I was tempted to think of her as just an overprotective parent and dismiss the issue. Yet there was still the fact she went to such _lengths_ , which suggested strongly that there was an outside source causing her behaviour.

An organisation scouting for intelligent children, perhaps?

Before I could talk in full sentences and interact with anyone else except 'Okaa-san', though, I couldn't actually confirm anything.

Which meant the slow, mind-numbingly boring process of relearning basic things like talking and fine motor control.

 _Joy_.

For the next three months or so, combining my (admittedly lacking) knowledge of Japanese and the few, simplistic sentences my mother gave, my vocabulary expanded at an alarming rate. However, unlike most proud mothers who would be delighted with a veritable genius of a child, I often saw undertones of hate and pain. In her words, her expressions.

I have to say it stung a little. Not much, though – and besides, she never seemed approving of anything I did. Maybe it was just her face.

However, that didn't change the fact it still ached. A little.

Only seeing my father a few times a month also hurt, although I hadn't really formed much of a connection with him, so it was something I could easily ignore. After all, it was difficult to respect someone you had barely met.

Overall, it really wasn't much of problem, if you look at it in perspective. In any case, I was probably just desperate for attention. God knows I needed it, spending this much time cooped up.

And of course, there was always that background fear that this really was all in a coma, and they'd just pull the plug, back wherever my body still existed. Really, it didn't seem a dramatic way to go out, without that coveted Chess Champion title to my name, and that basic human fear of dying always niggled at the back of my mind.

In other news, I had begun crawling around the tiny cot provided and on occasion, when 'okaa-san' wasn't there, standing. She seemed to think it was a health hazard, and evidence that she was restricting me was mounting. Admittedly, it had taken a while to stop instantly collapsing as my muscles struggled to keep me upright, however I could now proudly say I was one step closer to being a fully functioning person.

Okaa-san had done her best to stop her precious "Satoko-chan" from developing, but in all honesty, fuck her. If I wanted to walk, then I would damn well walk, and no impersonator was going to stop me.

And definitely not a vision concocted by my own brain.

* * *

"Blow out the candle, Satoko-chan!" Bitter hatred bubbled at my 'mother's' sickly sweet voice. For the six short years I had been here, all she had done was hold me back. Restricting me from complex reading materials. Forbidding me from anything in the slightest bit strenuous. Constantly encouraging me to pursue "feminine" arts, such as embroidery, or flower arranging.

Fucking _flower arranging_.

Any love or respect for her was gone. They had been gone for a long time.

Impatiently blowing out the single, smoky candle, I twisted my grimace at the _pink monstrosity_ I was decked in into a sweet smile. "Can I see my present now, okaa-san?"

Delighted at her Satoko- _chan_ acting like the little princess she always wanted, she hurried me into the kitchen-living room hybrid where, to my disgust, she gave me even more pink monstrosities.

Such a shame that this plan involved her being in a good mood.

Slapping on another false smile, I tightly hugged one of her legs _,_ hiding my grimace in the folds of her skirt. "Thank you okaa-san!"

As usual, my father had only stayed long enough this morning to give a rather insincere "happy birthday" before going off to the fields yet again. In fairness, he did have an excuse – money didn't grow on trees, after all – yet it wouldn't have crippled him to stick around for a little bit longer, nor was it too difficult to pretend to give a shit about his own daughter's birthday.

Neither of them had paid enough attention to know that I had no intention of staying here for another year. Honestly, everything they did fell under 'bad parenting[ES1] '.

I mean, they didn't even notice my stash of notebooks behind a wall panel, even when I marked out the panel by knocking a chip off the corner, just to see if they'd see anything amiss. They never seemed to realise that panel was slightly more worn than all the others, too. Nor did they notice that I'd taken their money to buy all the notebooks, or noticed me writing in them-

To cut it short, they wouldn't notice anything unless it literally slapped them around the face.

Although, for me, that was probably a good thing. After all, notebooks filled with a foreign language were quite incriminating, I would say.

A necessary evil, however, as I could quite clearly tell my memory wasn't nearly as sharp as when I was an adult. Getting better, yes, however still not nearly sharp enough to remember all the details of an _entirely new world_.

Most of my notebooks were devoted to what I'd dubbed 'civilian matters'; what I could glean of social order and class, societal expectations, occupations, governing system, trade, foreign relations – really, any information that I could get my hands on about the society I'd unwittingly crash-landed in.

Then, of course, were the 'ninja' ones.

Really, it hadn't fully sunk in – that feats like casually spitting fireballs, defying the laws of physics and human limitations without even a second glance and punching craters in the ground with your fists was actually possible in this world.

Sometimes I even forgot.

And then I'd see a kunai casually left forgotten in an alleyway, see someone with an engraved shiny plate wrapped around their forehead, spot a flicker of movement dancing across the roofing tiles, and then I'd wonder how it was even possible to forget such blatantly _superhuman_ feats.

Either way, it was all recorded.

From what I could tell from the civilian village I was in, I was born during a time of peace after the Third Shinobi War. Trade was booming, the atmosphere generally calm. Opinion of ninja varied wildly – the majority heralded them as heroes, however a small percentage saw ninja as suicidal freaks – mainly those who had lost relatives.

It appeared my family were of the latter, which was quite disappointing, and skyrocketed the chances that my scheming would permanently alienate myself from my family.

Not that it mattered.

After all, _my future_ came before relationships with a 'family' that I could barely consider as such. If I stayed a civilian, just as they wanted, my prospects would be rather dismal – especially since there were still quite toxic views of 'a woman's role' floating around.

Now, however, wasn't the time to be debating the pros and cons of my plan. I'd already wasted far too much time on all the moral debates over it – ninja, after all, did kill and steal and statistically speaking, I would be involved in a war at some point – yet it was still better than here.

I was following through with it.

Pushing all thoughts of the contents of my panel-stash and settling down to my birthday dinner, I subtly observed 'Okaa-san' and 'Otou-san' for their mood – after all, although their permission _technically_ wasn't needed, it sure as hell would make things and awful lot simpler.

Judging by her relaxed posture, Wakana was in a relatively good mood – likely something do with the fact she hadn't found the dress she'd given me in a nearby ditch or turned into a bonfire out the back. Takuya was – not _un_ happy, so to say, yet there was certainly tension in his frame and traces of a frown lining his face.

And, of course, my four-year-old little brother, who was as bratty as a four year old could possibly be. Something to do with favouritism.

In any case, he was unimportant.

"Okaa-san, Otou-san," They looked up, almost suspiciously, as if they couldn't believe I was being mild-mannered for once. "Do you think I could be a ninja?"

Wakana dropped her chopsticks.

"Satoko-chan, what do you mean?" With a plastered-on smile, she attempted to pat my face, to which she received a decisive swat. "Don't you want to be a princess?"

Abruptly, I dropped the happy mood. Clearly, she wouldn't be co-operating in this. "No, I have never wanted to be a princess. I can't change my blood to be royalty, and it's demeaning that you thought I was 'just the same' as all the other children." There was an edge of irritation lining words, bottled up emotions. "You were the one that assumed that I believed in such frivolous goals, and I'd appreciate it if you stopped forcing your own childhood onto me."

"B-but…" Stuttering for a moment, she quickly took a deep breath, before switching her tone to 'condescending'. Instantly, my hackles rose. "Satoko-chan, ninja live in a dangerous world. There's a big chance of you dying, and Okaa-san would be very sad."

"We exist in the very same world. It was a foolish dream to believe I would never hear about ninja." Fixing my eyes onto her slumped form, I injected determination into my words. "I am prepared to be a ninja – at least, mentally I am. You simply hastened the process."

Well, she didn't, but best leave her think that. Masking the lie behind an impervious expression, I awaited her answer.

"No." Ah, she finally decided to grow a backbone. Normally I would be proud; however, it really wasn't the time. "You may not become a ninja, Satoko. Your parents refuse."

Well, that was a shame.

Such a good thing that I'd prepared for this eventuality then, wasn't it? I'd predicted this, after all – I hardly expected them to let me go prancing off to Konoha, considering how they refused to respect any of my other decisions, either.

"Over the previous few years I have acquired several thousand ryo, a travelling pack, false papers and a detailed map of this part of Hi no Kuni. It would be a simple matter to leave during the night. You'll never see me again, nor will I bear your name." Time to seal the deal. "Either, by your leave, I go to the ninja academy in Konohagakure, and return here in the event I get dropped from the program. Alternatively, I can leave by my own means, run the risk of being attacked by bandits on the way and becoming a homeless orphan in the event I fail. Your decision."

In the wake of my words, there was silence.

"Satoko, what - are you serious about this… this plan?" There was something slightly dazed in Wakana's eyes, as if my place at the table had been replaced by a stranger claiming my name.

"Yes." Blandly, I replied. Honestly, it really didn't matter if I had their approval – after all, everything I had said was true - however it would be much easier if I did have it. Less chance of being mugged on the way by bandits, which were actually a legitimate concern in this universe.

"I suppose we'll approve then." Finally, Takuya gave me the answer I was looking for. "However, I do want to ask… this isn't just a ploy for attention, is it? I know I haven't been around a lot, but the farms need tending or else we'd all have starved long ago. If you stay, I promise to stay at home more, okay?"

"Thanks for approving." Hopping off my chair, I made my way to my room. "The appropriate documents have already been collected by me. All you need to do is sign them."

"You're really becoming a ninja?" Okaa-san's voice cracked a little towards the end.

Idly, I looked back. Even my bratty little 'brother' respected the tense silence that had settled in the room. "Yes." Without hesitation, I walked into my and my brother's shared room to retrieve the papers.

* * *

 **AN:**

Okaa-san = mother

Otou-san = father

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If anyone is reading this from before The Hiatus, they will know I used to update twice a month, on the 1st and 15th of a month – however, with some serious exams coming up really fast for me, this isn't entirely feasible any more lmao

So – new schedule. At least once a month (barring exam periods in Jan/Feb. and May/June.), but if I'm hit by inspiration then I'll try to put out an extra one. Chapters range from 4k – 8k, with 5-6k being the average.

Additionally, readers from P.H (Pre-Hiatus) will know I used to respond to reviews in the chapter itself. However, I have recently been inundated by reviews (and I love them all - it's actually amazing how much attention this has attracted - but there's still quite a lot) and so will make use of a previously unused reply option instead of just putting off replying until the next chapter lmao

I have deleted review responses, and I apologise. I still have the responses saved, if you're really that bothered, but otherwise I'll just leave it as it is.

 **Please do leave criticism and points for improvement** \- as well as anything you would/wouldn't like included in future chapters, or anything you didn't like.

 **Seriously, everything.**

This story is for me to improve my writing technique, and it's much more difficult to do that without your true opinions.

.

Have a wonderful day, and

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\- rosinban


	2. Spying on Kids from Behind Cupboards

**AN:** wow people actually read this

Thanks so much guys - it means a lot c:

Special thanks go to : **kani-leek-lover, Fulminata, tabetaisu, Enbi, Illogical Human, DarkDust27, time-twilight, s.f, FractalUnity, korohoshi, ishdirections and Aankon27** for being awesome reviewers ;)

.

[edit 26/05/2017: fixed up typos and corrected tenses/phrasing, made it flow better, reasoned out her actions a little better.]

.

* * *

Disclaimer : Naruto belong to Kishimoto. 'Nuff said.

* * *

"We've hired a genin team to escort you to Konohagakure." Okaa-san spat out the ninja village's name as if it were bitter poison. "You'll be given a small stipend every week, allocated to all non-clan academy students." There was an odd smile twitching on her face, as if she was no longer entirely certain how she was supposed to treat me. "Be careful, okay? Remember we'll always have a place in this house for you."

"Yep." If I was going to be honest, I wasn't really listening – after all, she'd spent the last few days alternating between begging me to reconsider and damning me to the pits of hell. My patience was more than spent.

Besides, kunai were really well designed, though I doubt full-time ninja ever wonder about the genius that went into developing their weapons. Although, I did devote a little of my attention to her, as gratitude for funding my venture into becoming a ninja.

Ninja clothes were _pricey_.

Although, I wasn't entirely certain where the fashion of bandaging shorts to your legs came from. Apparently, it was popular in Konoha, and so along with standard trousers came a roll of what were labelled 'vanity bandages'.

After one, final sad glance towards me, she left me to my own devices in the front room. I seemed to be getting a lot of them, as if she were seeing a corpse in my place rather than a living, breathing human, and at them, I couldn't help but feel a little miffed – after all this work, I wasn't going to keel over and die that quickly.

At least, not without taking someone with me.

Leaving 'home', as if I ever identified it as such, was a relief that had been a long time coming. At our door, a small band of Konoha-branded ninja arrived at around noon, with three lower ranked ninja watched over by one higher-level ninja, judging by how they deferred to him.

Perhaps not the silent sentinels Wakana expected, however the lower ranked ninja would likely answer many of my questions without dwelling much on what they were revealing, especially if I prodded the slightly dozy looking one with a few targeted questions.

Wait, no, it would probably be more sensible to ask the serious looking one – he would probably answer just to get me off his back and everything I said could be passed off as childish curiosity. After all, he was making it abundantly obvious that he thought about as highly of me as a piece of gum on the sole of his shoes.

Pulling unamused faces as my mother clung to me for dear life, mumbling incoherent reassurances that were probably more for her sake than mine, I finally left, giving one final wistful look at 'home'. No crying, no hysterics, no promises.

One day I would be there, and the next I wouldn't.

There never really had been a place for me there, after all.

* * *

"So, what do ninja usually do?" An innocent question directed towards the aforementioned serious looking ninja. "I'm going to Konoha to be one – I bet you get to do loads of exciting stuff!" Perhaps overdoing the naivety a little bit, however you could never be too safe and better they think I'm a dunce than a genius.

In any case, I'd finally decided that perhaps my pride wasn't quite as important as dying a premature death.

After all, by hiding as an average student, I'd be able to research more about this world, hopefully gaining a broader knowledge without the pressures of 'learn to kill more people more quickly', as well as allow my body to develop more. Children simply didn't have the same fortitude, and that would put me at a very distinct disadvantage that I'd rather not have to deal with.

There was also the fact that in every TV show I ever saw, geniuses had a very bad habit of ending up extremely crazy or extremely dead, and since I was in my brain's recreation of a TV show, taking the prodigy route would likely gain me more broken bones than it was worth.

And so I took the dismissive gazes they gave me with an unwitting smile and the knowledge that it was massively improving my life expectancy.

"Nothing interesting." Came the bland reply. "Just small stuff around the village."

'Small stuff'? Considering it was 'around the village', it was probably errands. Internal communications and delivery, maybe, although it was deliberately vague. As far as I knew, though, there were still no telephones. However, it did confirm that I had made the right decision – enough 'small errands' as a ninja could pay the bills.

It made an awful lot of sense, though. Ninja did things efficiently, simply put, meaning that there would be no end of menial labour jobs up for grabs, should I ever be seriously short of money.

Giving the best impression of a childish huff that I could muster, I retorted "B-o-r-i-n-g! Why did you become ninja just to do _chores_?" I gave an exaggerated wave of my hands to enunciate my points. "You should be out doing interesting stuff, like fighting evil monsters!"

One of them prickled a little, pride clearly smarting. "Well, we learned stuff that could be used in battle at the Academy…"

Yet then there was the sensation of something emanating from behind me, jut grazing the edges of my senses – however, upon turning around to where the imperceptible nudge came from, all I saw was the elder ninja with a perfectly bland expression, as if nothing had happened.

At my attention, he arched an eyebrow.

As I turned back, I caught sight of the boy I questioned hunching in as if scolded and turning away, giving off all the signals for ending a conversation. "I'm sure Shinku-sensei might have done some exciting stuff though, if you want to ask him." Apparently, he suddenly regained common sense – meaning that was a signal of some kind. Interesting.

I was still curious as to what it was, however – despite being a little on the slow side, they still would have enough common sense not to explain their warning system outside the walls, and to a technically foreign six-year old to boot.

Pity.

It was also rather irritating that he would likely be aware that he shouldn't be running his mouth off about Village secrets for the rest of the journey, too.

"What, really?" Giving off the most questioning glare a six year old possibly could, I folded my arms, trying my level best to recreate my teenage years. "Prove it."

Shinku-sensei gave a slightly amused, however disapproving sigh. "You'll learn all about missions at the Academy, I'm sure." The unspoken 'My lips are sealed' was easily tagged onto the end.

Ah well. There was never only one way to approach a problem.

"Feh, I bet you did really boring stuff anyway." Sniffing haughtily, I turned back to Blank Face. "Anyway, can you show me some of those really awesome ninja tricks? Like where they go phwoosh – " I gestured wildly with my hands "-into thin air!"

"No. That's be pointless."

"Hah. Bet'cha can't do it, can you?" I blew a raspberry. "Baka!"

As his eyebrow twitching, mood noticeably taking a downturn, I repressed a wicked smile from stretching across my lips. Seemed like I trod on a nerve.

"Of course I can." Hands flashing through signs faster than I could properly perceive– no, they were hand seals, if I correctly recalled that children's book that was essentially a huge advert to join Konoha. Each seal had an… animal? Related to it, as a mnemonic for the movement of… energy? No, energy wasn't correct. Something based off energy, at the very least. My reading skills at the time had been subpar, and then Wakana confiscated it. "Kawarimi!"

Huge bursts of smoke bloomed from where he was standing, leaving behind an innocuous looking log that had been at the side of the road. Hmm, seemed like it jogged some memories. Something about… an Academy technique?

Ah, how my memory fails me. Wish I had actually bothered paying attention to the program when it was on TV.

"Wow, that's super amazing, nii-san!" There were leaves in his hair as he walked out of the bushes, looking slightly mollified. Better keep up the ignorant kid act – admittedly, that was some rather ham-handed manipulation, and would almost certainly have been noticed by their sensei. "Do we learn that at the Academy? 'Cause I wanna do that!"

Shinku-sensei sounded significantly less amused this time around. "Stop divulging village secrets to random kiddies, Amai- _kun_." A not-so-subtle slap on Amai's back quietened any retorts. "Koike-san, I apologise for our unprofessional behaviour."

Reading the significantly colder atmosphere, I easily conceded defeat and refrained from trying to swindle more information out of them. Admittedly, that was more than I had expected, considering I was at a disadvantage from the start anyway.

* * *

Arriving in Konohagakure the next day, I was required to show my papers to the gate guards. Or, at least, two of them. Doubtless there were many more watching my every move right now. Flicking my eyes around for likely surveillance spots that offered a full view of the gates, I identified several shadows hidden in the smallest of crevices, surveying my actions with intense scrutiny.

Shivering slightly under their watch, I handed my papers to one of the gate guards -the other one being sound asleep. Yet my wariness snapped straight to the embarrassment of having to go on tiptoes to put the papers on the desk.

Screw this short body.

After confirming everything was in order, the attentive guard woke up the other with a brisk shake, and after a few choice expletives that I pretended not to hear (after all, I was still supposed to be a sweet little six year old), he escorted me to the Hokage Tower. Grumbling, of course.

Though, I wasn't too concerned with him – no, I was watching the town, burning landmarks, roads and back alleys into a mental map of Konoha. Funnily enough, there didn't appear to be much of gap between rich and poor. More of a gap between civilians and ninja.

Interesting.

Of course, once arriving at the Hokage Tower, my mind went from social classes to the many unseen eyes watching me at the moment. Self-consciously I dusted off my shorts, feeling intensely uncomfortable.

I sat in the lobby for a while, as instructed by the kindly however exhausted secretary. You couldn't fake those eye bags, and I knew she would be gaining a few premature wrinkles soon. Wouldn't be surprised – hanging around people who could kill you in a flash if they wanted to must be stressful.

"You can go in now." An attempt at a smile, as well as a cleverly disguised yawn. Poor lady.

Huh, but I never saw anyone walking out. Likely they all just jumped out onto the rooftops, just as I occasionally saw them before – flickers on rooves, out of view within a few seconds. I supposed it must be quite practical, as well as keeping ninja in the public eye. Civilians would be more likely to contract them for odd jobs if they dissociated themselves from the titles of 'murderers' or 'assassins', after all.

Walking in, I was instantly struck by how short and small I was compared to my old body. Or coma body? I was still sticking by the theory that this was an extremely elaborate dream my mind cooked up for me as I was in a coma from brain injury, even as the chances grew slimmer with every progressing day.

Either way, I subtly straightened myself, attempting to feel a little taller than I actually was.

Coming to a standstill in the middle of the room, I came face to face with Hokage. The _Sandaime Hokage_ , if I wasn't mistaken – both from scratching together information in that backwater village, and from hazy memories of the television series.

At my arrival, the Hokage looked from behind the stack of paperwork piled on his desk like a paper waterfall. Honestly, you would have thought a half-decent leader would quickly realise he'd never get anything done when it was haphazardly scattered all over his desk like that.

"You are Koike Satoko, correct?" Blinking a little, I readjusted my image of the Hokage from 2D images on the TV and in books to the old man that sat before me, deep lines etched out on his face.

"Yep!" Giving my best impression of a completely idiotic grin, I attempted to make myself resemble that one rather slow kid who my okaa-san constantly set up playdates with. Seems like all that inane babble I had to put up with from him actually paid off a little.

Giving a grandfatherly kind of chuckle, I could feel a little tension unintentionally ease in the presence of Sandaime, although not completely. Burning gazes were still fixed on me, preventing me from resting my aching muscles.

"And you want to join the Academy?"

"Definitely!" Accompanied with a thumbs-up, I'm not quite certain if I could physically make myself look any more gormless. "I'm going to be a super powerful ninja who protects all her friends!"

Already, I could feel regret weighing me down – a minute in, and the act was already beginning to piss me off.

Well, dug my grave, and now I had to lie in it.

Another chuckle. "Well, I don't see why not." For a brief moment, he paused to take a drag at his pipe. "You'll be given a small stipend every week for food, supplies and whatnot. At the Academy, the new year begins in a week's time. I'll have someone bring you to the apartment you are allocated."

As if by magic, the grumpy sleeping guy from earlier walked in. "Yo, Hokage-sama." He turned to me, raising an eyebrow at my oblivious expression. "Where does she need to go?"

"Oh, the fourth apartment building on the fifth market road." The locations passed straight over my head as I adopted a blank expression. "Second floor, room three."

Taking that as my polite cue to leave, I made all haste to trail after the ninja that was taking to my new 'home'.

Hopefully it would be better than the last one.

* * *

Replacing his pen on the desk, he pushed the Hokage hat a little further over his eyes. Really, he was much too old for this job if some 6-year-old civilian was getting him worked up.

As Hokage, he had taken it upon himself to receive the debriefing for Team 4's first C-ranked mission – after all, they were pegged to all eventually reach Jounin, and it was always good to know who your elite force were. At the time, it was the most suitable – low risk, promoting teamwork and giving a taste of what travelling for higher ranked missions was like.

In hindsight, he should have put a team with a Yamanaka or perhaps a Nara to escort the little Academy student. Perhaps they would have been able to offer some insight into the web of deception the little Koike had wrapped around her.

Somehow, not only did the child manipulate one of the fresh Academy graduates – who was almost twice her age– into giving away information about the Academy, however she also managed to get the stoic little shadow to provide a demonstration of a jutsu without any of the other Genin even questioning her words or intentions.

Of course, Shinku-san also said she might have just been a naïve idiot like some civilian children, judging by the heavy-handedness of some of the supposed 'manipulation'.

However, you didn't live to his age by believing in coincidences, especially coupled with the fact she may have identified multiple of the sentinel Chuunin stationed around the walls.

Although this point was also disputed as, in the words of Shinku-san, she wasn't "really looking at them, more like looking at the wall." So, in essence, predicting where the ninja would be. He heard of such feats from the Nara, the lazy strategists, however never from a no-name civilian. Not even Minato Namikaze, hailed as a genius many times over, had ever done anything like that as a child.

Of course, once again, she could just be like any other six year old gawking at the scale of the walls. After all, she was a civilian.

An untrained civilian.

Borrowing his Jounin Commander's words, it was troublesome. Extremely so.

Yet, it still piqued his curiosity, as civilian-ninja relations still hadn't completely settled from the Kyuubi attack - if she really was a civilian-born genius, it would go a long way in quietening the civilians' complaints about bias.

Therefore, when she walked in, he was admittedly a little disappointed. Next to no muscle wasted away on stick-thin limbs, and despite possessing a fairly well developed chakra system, much of it wasted away in the pit of her stomach. You would have thought, with that much power at her fingertips, she would have tried influencing it, whether on purpose or by accident, however he supposed her papers literally meant a sheltered childhood, not just from shinobi matters.

Though, perhaps he was asking for a little too much.

After all, she'd never spoken to a shinobi in her life before the escort team, if her papers were to be believed.

To a civilian, she might have appeared calm. Relaxed, even. However, to even a half-decent shinobi, it was obvious she was tense – shaken, even - and her eyes flicked wildly around the room– so no sensing skills, or else they would have been naturally drawn to the half-concealed chakra signature of the Yamanaka behind the filing cabinets.

Everything was pointing towards fluke so far – however, there was no need to make hasty decisions. You learned that after a few years of dealing with the Council. With all the conflicting opinions, sky-high egos and individual political agendas, a decision that you thought might take an hour would take at least three.

"You are Koike Satoko, correct?" Sending out a subtle wave of positive chakra, a slight relaxing of her strained muscles could be seen, although she didn't completely calm. Well, at the very least she wasn't likely to be goaded into a feeling of safety.

Paranoia, after all, was invaluable to keeping shinobi alive. It was up there with 'debatable morals' and 'general apathy'.

"Yep!" The statement was accompanied with a blinding grin, not unlike the one that a certain _Uzumaki Naruto_ was so fond of. He chuckled a little at the thought of the little troublemaker. However, this smile was merely a mask - perhaps it looked seamless at a passing glance, however after a few decade's worth of experience in fine political manoeuvring, he could see the tiny discrepancies that marked it out as a facade.

Perhaps this one had a future in infiltration - as a child, a mask to such level of detail that he had to study her expression was impressive.

Appearing to be looking through her papers (immaculately filled out, he should note) he asked "And you want to join the Academy?" After all, this meeting was _supposed_ to be about whether she was eligible for Academy enrolment.

"Definitely! I'm going to be a super powerful ninja who protects all her friends!" This time, the splitting grin had a pair of thumbs up to accompany it. Its exuberance was nearly blinding, and an urge to recoil from its potency curled in his stomach. He was certain that this child and Gai would get along very well.

Maybe a little too well.

He was about to conclude that Koike Satoko was a simple-minded civilian, albeit with potential for infiltration, however his gaze caught on a slight amount of distaste judging by how clearly forced her smile was by now. Of course, he always knew it was a mask, however obviously there was more to this civilian that went further than skin deep.

Expertly covering up his boundless curiosity, he finally made the hand sign for the ANBU to send for one of his faithful Chuunin runners and watched the intense relief in her figure as she was finally allowed to leave.

Sighing, he massaged his temples, signalling a Yamanaka disguised as an ANBU from behind the filing cabinets.

"Inoichi, what do you think?" Letting out a small wince as his bones clicked worryingly, he placed Satoko's file back on the desk, feeling like he was too old for the job all over again. "She's certainly more than she appears, isn't that so?"

"Certainly, Hokage-sama." Inoichi looked pensive for another moment. "It was obviously all a mask, of course, that much is clear. However, her body language, eye contact and knowledge of social cues and manipulation betrays how mature she truly is."

"Knowledge of social cues?"

Inoichi gave a slight nod. "No matter how much it appeared she had no knowledge of authority and decorum, in fact it was the opposite. She chose to disregard them. It was a conscious decision, part of her mask."

Interesting. Taking one of the many pens strewn across his desk, he noted it down under a file labelled clearly 'KOIKE SAKOTO'.

"What read did you get on her personality? I know it might not be wholly accurate, since I am not a proper T + I officer, however any information would be useful." Deeper machinations in her brain were completely beyond his knowledge of psychology.

"Underneath the mask, there's evidence of being headstrong and passionate." Inoichi hummed. "However I believe it was irritation that brought those traits out, and much of her behaviour hinted at her dominant personality traits including a caustic personality, balanced with a highly intelligent, calculating mind. Which was then covered with a mask of innocence and exuberance. An interesting mix of characteristics from such a sheltered child." A pause. "I don't specialise in child psychology, but I'd hazard a guess that her parents warned her about wartime protocols for shinobi, and she decided that this was the best way to avoid an early death."

Duly, he noted down a condensed version of Inoichi's words, carefully turning them over in his head.

Briefly, Inoichi paused again, seemingly reviewing his analysis. "However, I would compare her intelligence to those of the Nara - strategy and prediction. Much of what she said was clearly weighed and premeditated, no matter how simple it all sounded."

For a moment, he let that hang in the air.

"Where do her loyalties lie?" After all, that was technically why Inoichi was here.

This came readily. "She fights for herself, as far as I can tell. However, that's only to be expected, really, since she hasn't been exposed to much of Konoha's propaganda. However, unlike what I would expect, her self-reliance seems to be quite ingrained - she seems very unwilling to rely or trust others. In other words, she is not likely to be influenced by either side easily. Therefore, if we were to convince her to place her loyalties in Konoha, it is unlikely she would be swayed by any other side. On the other hand, it'll be an uphill struggle to get her to accept Konohan values as her own." He tapped his chin thoughtfully, however didn't deem to share his thoughts.

Taking another puff from his pipe, he studied Inoichi's unusually stony face. "Anything else curious about her?"

"The moment she walked into the room, she immediately wanted to check where all the ANBU were, which I found strange for a child, and a civilian no less." Inoichi frowned. "Another assumption that I would expect from a Nara rather than a civilian is that if I'm correct then she guessed most strategically advantageous positions in the room for ANBU to be. No matter how much it looked like a random pattern, there was incredible amounts of reasoning." He took a quick glance around the room, before adding "However, they are also the darkest spots, and for all we know she could have heard some of the ridiculous civilian rumours of dead bodies in the shadows or something."

"So, essentially, we learned very little the fact because of the fact she is a civilian and therefore has not adopted the same thinking processes that we are used to dealing with" Taking another puff, he was disappointed to find it had run out of tobacco. After all, it was rather expensive as a result of his own tax scheme. "And the quite impressive masking of emotions."

"That's right, Hokage-sama."

"Is that an infiltrator in the making then?" Good infiltrators were always difficult to find and information was valuable. Lacking information lead to disasters like the Third Shinobi War and the Hyuuga Affair.

"No." Inoichi's succinct reply startled him slightly. "It was obvious she wasn't comfortable with holding a mask, and that caustic personality would completely ruin any chance of gaining trust. Not to mention she can't keep it up for long. Even you could pick up the fact it was falling apart towards the end of the conversation." Sighing, he scratched out the chance of her becoming a spy.

"Thanks for your help – I know you want to get back to your flower shop." He gave a wistful laugh, thinking of days gone by. "Your little Ino's starting at the Academy next week, isn't she?"

Inoichi immediately perked up. "Yes, she is." Giving a dramatic sniff, he added, "She's growing so fast, isn't she? Well," He gave a sharp salute "Like you thought, I better be getting back to her! I'll be taking my leave now, Hokage-sama." Curling his fingers into the tiger seal, he vanished in a puff of smoke.

Sighing, he looked at the piles of paperwork on his desk, a frown deepening his wrinkles further. He could've sworn some of those papers weren't there before he began talking with Inoichi.

With minimal grumbling, he grudgingly went back to work. Someday he'd be allowed to retire, however for now he just had to keep going.

Besides, everyone knew that S-rank shinobi never truly retired.

* * *

Blowing a stray lock of black hair out of my face, victory was clear. After giving everything a badly-needed scrubbing down, killing almost thirty spiders that had taken up residence and clearing out the mysterious black mould that had taken over the fridge, I could now safely say the apartment was "tolerable". Big step up, in my opinion.

Looking out the window (that was now actually clear, and not clouded by a thick layer of dust, dirt and grease), I could still see there was time for a quick walk around Konoha and decide exactly why I was here in the first place.

Crisp air stole the air from my lungs as I made my way around the village. Hidden Village, not so much. After all, it must be quite difficult to disguise those flaming red walls. Although, there would be regular patrols in the surrounding forest, meaning it might appear hidden since intruders are caught before they even catch a glimpse of the village.

 _No, no good._ My rational thoughts made themselves heard. _Stop getting distracted, Naomi, or else you'll never get shit done._

Giving a short, barking laugh (and surprising a few villagers) I shook her head as if to throw off my distracting thoughts.

Hey, sometimes it worked. Just...not a lot of the time.

Either way, why was I here? I could've lived a normal, civilian life in the countryside. Though, was I even living right now, or was I in some kind of twisted purgatory? Nah, I never really believed in Heaven and Hell. Guess I could just hang here until I move on or go back. Perhaps a hint in a book or scroll might crop up.

Within my head, I added that to my mental "To-Do" list, no matter how improbable that occurrence would be.

Either way – I paused briefly in my thoughts to kick a loose pebble – I was going to survive. Between all the mass-murderers, homicidal maniacs and idiots armed with pointy objects, I reckoned that was good enough. Not to mention that if this were Naruto's generation, all this would be occurring before I would even be allowed to drink - in my old world.

So, survive until 25. That birthday that I hadn't quite reached, although whether I'd actually left or if this was coma world was still seriously debatable.

Arriving back at my battered looking apartment building, my head felt a lot lighter with a clear goal in mind. Yes, surviving was good enough. That would involve not drawing attention, being ordinary, becoming a grunt runner and running as soon as stuff was going to turn to shit. Otherwise, I might be allowed the decency of becoming a genin-puddle.

If they were particularly vindictive, I might not even be allowed that. Perhaps torture and subsequent vaporisation?

Sighing as my thought took a more morbid turn yet again; I lay on the crudely made futon and allowed the blissfulness of unconsciousness to reclaim my mind yet again.

* * *

 **AN:**

Whoops didn't quite intend it to end like that ^^; ahaha

And woah filler in chapter 2? That must be like some kind of record or something lmao

The Sandaime Hokage is surprisingly hard to write when he's semi-serious. The temptation to make him a perverted old geezer was there, but that would probably ruin the atmosphere, not to mention that despite being far past his prime he is still a ninja, and a damn good one at that ;)

\- rosinban


	3. Interacting With 6 Year Olds (and Ino)

**AN:** Sorry about being late ;u;

Being the massive idiot that I am, I completely forgot about the date until the New Year's fireworks show. Then I had to get this whole thing done in a massive hurry, running on sugar and an inhuman amount of party food very early in the morning. Then I realised everything I wrote was rubbish and had to retype the entire thing.

Thank you to the following reviewers: **tabetaisu** , **time-twilight** , **kani-leek-lover** , **Judgment of the Arbiter** , **lilyoftheval5** and **korohoshi** for their reviews - you all get virtual cookies from me.

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[edit 26/05/2017: fixed up typos and corrected tenses/phrasing, made it flow better, reasoned out her actions a little better.]

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* * *

My morning was not going well.

First was the goddamned sun. What the fuck was wrong with it, shining so brightly in the morning when decent people were still trying to rest?

Next was my alarm clock. Sure, people need alarm clocks, however at seven in the morning I believe that deafening people is wholly unnecessary. Needless to say, I was stuck with a blaring headache and distant ringing in my ears.

Just to top it all off was the glacial shower water. I know it's the Land of Fire and all that jazz, however I sorely missed the warmth of a nice bath - without a bunch of other naked women watching me. Therefore, cold shower it was.

Freezing, half-deaf and utterly exhausted, I wished for some nice tea (Earl Grey sounded pretty good although I'd probably take any hot drink), a fluffy blanket, and the time to just curl up and sleep in. Of course, life in general hated me – death being the first hint that I'd pissed it off in some way.

Firstly, of course, I didn't have the money to buy expensive blends of tea and a mountain of fluffy blankets. Secondly, sleeping in wasn't an option, since I needed to get over to the library and catch up with the rest of the Academy students. After all, walking in blind to the shinobi world was a terrible move, not to mention I'd be behind even the ever-trailing civilians in that I hadn't had any ninja influence at all.

In fact, they were lucky. Every day ninja walked among them, and doubtlessly they picked up information from that. Instead, I was stuck in a library, relying on their propaganda-filled nonsense and blurry memories of the TV show to piece together an overall incomplete picture.

Actually, that didn't cover it. It was like having 2 pieces from a 1000 piece puzzle. In other words, fuck all.

Distantly registering that I could probably pose as a zombie from one of those terrible apocalyptic movies, I wandered outside and allowed my feet to lead me to the public library I saw yesterday. Yawning and stretching idly, I settled down with an admittedly dull-looking tome on the history of Konoha and began.

Never had I ever been so grateful for a photographic memory. It was excruciating skimming it; imagine if I actually had to _read_ it.

Noting it was still only around midday and I had learned just about everything about the Konoha I could need for beginning the Academy, I went onto more shinobi-related publications, quietly scanning their contents for what remained of the day.

* * *

This systematic cycle of waking, reading and sleeping continued for the next few days, only broken by the occasional snack. Within the few days, I could probably recite to you the entire history of Konoha from the day of its birth, both the version with indoctrination riddled through it and my more believable version, cobbled together from vague hints and common sense. I knew of the current political climate like the back of my hand.

However, understandably as a ninja village, any teachings were forbidden to the general population. It made sense – didn't want spies disguised as traders and such to learn of your techniques. After all, despite its vivid walls, it technically still was a 'Hidden Village'.

Well, I suppose the colour must be good for morale.

Blearily making my way to the Academy, I observed that my half-asleep self probably didn't make a striking figure. Well, whatever, although I had to find better coping techniques than running until I passed out. Insomnia was not fun. Not that I would ever admit it, however every time I shut my eyes and faded out of consciousness, I was reminded horribly of that… that crash.

Blinding pain. Screams filling the thick air.

Swallowing and batting away my subconscious fears, I half-walked, half-stumbled the rest of the way to the Academy.

Arriving, I quickly memorised all the faces of the clan children within my year group. It appeared the heirs to multiple prominent clans were present. Hyuuga – I believe it was Hyuuga Hinata, clan heir. Of course, the issue with that was that she was massively overshadowed by her prodigal cousin Neji, causing multiple internal disputes as Neji was "only a branch member". Such archaic ways.

Also ways that I should stay away from. I doubt it'd be taken kindly for such a clan's heir to be interacting with a _mere_ civilian. Gods forbid that those peasants be of the same class.

(Hyuuga, Hyuuga – I felt so certain I had seen them on the TV, yet I couldn't remember a thing beyond their clouded eyes, and it _infuriated_ me.)

Three Uchiha stood to one side, looking like the angst-ridden, broody bastards they were so well known for being. Among them, the one entering was clear – Uchiha Sasuke. Although he wasn't an heir, he was still incredibly influential as the second son to the Uchiha leader, despite being horribly overshadowed by the heir, Itachi, who was considered a prodigy along with the likes of Hatake Kakashi.

They were all supposed to have some sort of genetic mutation to their eyes giving them the "Sharingan", some sort of super powered eyesight letting them essentially predict all their opponent's moves and give them perfect memory while active.

Well, makes sense Kishimoto would hand out obviously overpowered abilities to anyone who fancied, provided they had a sufficiently traumatising sob story.

For once, however, I could remember something from the series – specifically, that Sasuke was one of the main characters, and that at some point he defects and Naruto goes racing across the continent to get him back.

Getting involved with defectors was never a good idea, even if they weren't from a 'noble' clan.

Inuzuka, with their ninken. Aburame, with their bugs. Yamanaka, that particular heir already gaining something of a following. Akimichi, shyly clutching a bag of crisps. Nara, looking just as bad as I did. My lips twitched. At least I wouldn't be the only zombie knockoff at the Academy.

Tapping on my shoulder brought me out of my reverie. "Hey, are you an orphan as well?" Some kid, scabbed knees, hungry look. An orphan. No, a relationship with this one would not be profitable.

"No. Get lost." When talking with children, a blunt tone is optimal. I read it in one of the psychology books. For some reason there seemed to be lots of information on how to integrate yourself into society, which said wonders about the society in question. All those antisocial ninja with no social experience to speak of.

* * *

ANBU Dog, crouched in front of the memorial stone, sneezed.

* * *

Sniffing, he folded his arms, looking obstinate. "No need to be such a jerk!" When that didn't achieve whatever effect he was hoping, he repeated it. "You big jerk! You're not allowed to play with us, ever!"

Wonder if that was supposed to offend me. Should I pretend to be hurt? No, that'd just be making this whole affair far more complex than required. Ideally, this mask should be easily upheld, since it was going to have to be up a lot longer than a chess game.

So, instead of breaking down in tears or being angry or whatever he was hoping, I yawned and waved him off, leaving my expression as its default 'indifferent'. "Go find someone else to bother, kiddo."

Breathing heavily, he turned and ran. Perhaps he'd tell his cronies not to bother me too. Yes, that seemed good.

After all, chances are most of these children are simply going to die as some kind of background character. Perhaps I could make use of them; however befriending any of them was an investment that wasn't worth my time.

Besides, I was still waiting for whenever this strange dimension decided to spit me out and back into my old body that I so sorely missed. Being surrounded by so many screeching toddlers whose behaviour I was expected to imitate was both terrifying and horribly insulting to my intelligence.

Rubbing a little sleep out of my bleary eyes, I admittedly spaced out a little as I allowed the childish screams of the grounds wash over me. In the confines of my own mind, I could admit to feeling a little out of my depth – after all, I was the only person fighting for my corner.

Nowhere to go back to.

Well, I could go back to Wakana; however, I highly doubted I'd be a welcome re-addition to the family.

A sudden dip in the noise level startled me out of my thoughts. Standing on a wooden, pre-made podium by the Academy, the Hokage certainly made for an imposing figure – far more than the pruned old man swamped by his own work. Here, I could see what made him a war leader.

Not that being a successful war leader was necessarily positive.

In any case, despite his newfound charisma, I couldn't resist the challenge. Tuning out his rather repetitive speech on the 'Will of Fire', otherwise known as indoctrination of the younger generation, I turned my mind to identifying where the ANBU likely were. Behind that branch – yep, I saw the makings of an unnatural shadow nestled among the leaves.

Of course, you wouldn't spot it if you weren't looking for it, so it was a decent spot.

Hmm, another on the building, subtly hidden around the corner. Although, the windowsill would offer a far more expansive viewpoint, especially if they happened to be a long-range fighter.

Distantly I registered movement and allowed my feet to take me inside, my dazed stumble hidden among the sea of people. One of the downsides of being a child and attempting to think deeply on only a few hours of sleep - you couldn't operate your body at the same time.

Settling down at one of the desks at the back where I could use the Aburame as a shield of sorts to keep the teacher's gaze off of me, I promptly planted my cheek on the desk, staying semi-conscious through another mind-dulling speech, only removing it when the baseline literacy and mathematics tests were passed around. Quickly skimming the laughably simple problems, I calculated the total marks, where people would likely lose marks and from than an average, which I would aim for.

Damn. 15 minutes to go. It definitely would take a much shorter time than that to answer it all, and I didn't want to stick out.

Applying an old military cipher I had read about last week, I selected questions to get right and wrong, purposefully making my lines slightly sloppy and child-like to dissuade any impression of prodigal intelligence. If you recorded the pattern of correct and incorrect, assigning the numbers 1 and 0 to yes and no respectively then applied it to the cipher's alphabet, it would read "B-O-R-E-D".

15 minutes left.

By the time I had painstakingly finished rumpling the corners of the paper to give the impression I had actually worked on it, adding some artistic pencil lead dust, drawing a childish doodle depicting me as a ninja, and actually filling in the answers with misleadingly blotchy handwriting, the teacher - Takanagi-sensei, I believe it was – finally called the end of the test. Sighing in sync with the rest of the civilians still working, I handed the paper in before racing outside, desperate not to be run over by the rampant toddlers.

While most of the children took part in a game of "Ninja", or essentially "Cops and Robbers" with paper weapons, I slipped through some undergrowth, finding a small clearing to take a nap and contemplate. Although – I'm not fooling anyone, am I? – it was mostly to avoid the other children.

Yes, yes, antisocial.

However, it only took two years in that backwater village to realise that my peers were hardly the most engaging conversation partners. Especially since they could barely string their words together correctly, let alone form a logical debate.

Much of the day progressed in an equally monotonous fashion, punctuated only by my efforts to make it more interesting. One other written test was given, focused on key attributes such as loyalty and judgement, to which I simply replied with the cheesiest, most simplistic answers my pride could cope with.

And a physical test.

Although it shamed me, I was ridiculously weak - panting after a few laps along with the rest of the civilians while the clan kids looked barely ruffled. However, I was not last, even if I barely scraped the level considered "acceptable". Internally crying, I resolved to create – and stick to – a comprehensive training routine.

God, this ninja business was far more trouble than it was worth.

* * *

A routine of sorts was established. Early in the morning, I took part in the training that I knew, from books, built muscle and improved endurance and flexibility. Go to the Academy. Be utterly average. Bat away any friendship or confrontation requests - they seemed to go hand in hand within this universe, and becoming attached to any of these idiots would probably lower my IQ over time.

After all, stupidity is supposed to be contagious.

Read in the library. Then go home. Repeat.

Slowly, I noticed with the passing of seasons that at least half the civilians had already dropped out. After all, why bother becoming a ninja when a cosy home and lifestyle was waiting for you? However I had quite a serious drive of "if you don't do this you're going to get creamed in the subsequent shit that goes down later" kind of reasoning, as well as years of life experience strengthening my resolve. Not to mention the cold apartment that I returned to every night, taunting me with unseen words to give up.

No one tells Naomi Harper to give up.

Especially not her own brain.

* * *

Of course, I knew it was inevitable. Much like looking at the sky and seeing many storm clouds coming your way. Or perhaps dwelling on life, although currently I had no plans on falling into the pit that is existential crisis.

Human interaction.

The mere words daunted me.

Perhaps in my old world there would be no problems. After all, I was merely introverted and blunt, making me an unfavourable conversation partner. However, I was conversing with intellectual equals - or at least, beings with the same level of mental development (probably). Not being forced into a bastardised version of hide and seek with a ragtag bunch of six year olds.

It started innocently enough. An ordinary day in the Academy, I walked in, carefully avoiding contracting germs from the other's snotty hands.

The wonders of tissue paper had been wasted on them.

Making a beeline towards the back and giving a polite nod to the only sane person in the entire class - Aburame Shino - he gave one back. An unspoken agreement had been forged between us - both of us stay quiet and don't rat each other out when we go daydreaming, or in my case sleeping, and no one gets into trouble.

Pulling out a salvaged scroll on fuuinjutsu I had found thrown into a bin, likely from whoever rage quit trying to learn this obscure art, I began reading, tuning out the overexcited screams and yells that echoed around the room. How they were so full of energy at this time of morning, I had no idea. God forbid they learn of the existence of coffee.

Dedicating my sluggish brain to making sense of the _directly opposing theories_ posed to me in this scroll (and really, I could see quite clearly why they tossed it out), I didn't notice the approach of a certain figure who I'd already marked down as 'avoid at all costs', right next to Uzumaki Naruto and Uchiha Sasuke.

Yamanaka Ino.

"Hey, you're that really quiet girl, right?" Slowly looking up with an utterly uninterested expression on my face, I then returned to my scroll without a comment. Nope. Not going to get involved.

"That's not nice, you know! You should reply to people when they talk to you." Of course, I didn't grace her childish morals with an answer.

"If you don't talk to me, I'm going to tell Sensei when you sleep in class!" Triumphantly she grinned, obviously thinking she had me now. She'd be an awful chess player.

"Sensei doesn't care." I intoned, giving the 'are you really that idiotic' expression I reserved for people I wanted to get rid of. Ino definitely fell into that category. "Obviously he's noticed by now, but he just doesn't care, no matter if you point it out or not."

"You spoke!" With all the subtlety of a toddler, she loudly proclaimed her surprise to the world. "You know, you have a nice voice. You should speak more often."

Whatever remained of my faith in humanity jumped ship. Feeling like following it out that rather handily accessible window, I returned to my scroll, but alas - to no avail. Yamanaka Ino now surpassed Uzumaki Naruto in my list of people to avoid, a feat I'd previously thought impossible.

"If you don't play with us at break, I'm going to sit here the entire time and annoy you!" To my (and Shino's) horror, she sat on our previously peaceful bench, looking as smug as her chubby features could convey. "The _entire_ time."

Mentally, I weighed up the pros and cons of the arrangement.

To agree would involve spending half an hour among brats. Perhaps a few pointed remarks could make them play this world's version of Cops and Robbers, so I could sneak away and treat break as normal while hiding from their rather pathetic searching attempts. Meanwhile, if I didn't agree, I'd have to spend several hours with Ino nattering away right next to me, eliminating all possibilities of peace and quiet.

To all sane minds, the choice was clear.

Mournfully saying goodbye to my quiet break time of dango, scrolls and a lack of brats treading on my toes I gave a halting nod. "Sure. Now scram." Watching Ino practically skipping away, I could feel a little of me internally crying. Why, why couldn't it be someone else?

Of course! I nearly face palmed, however refrained from doing so, aware of how much attention it'd attract. Being solitary drew unwanted attention. Quickly scanning the room, I picked out a group of bog-standard civilian girls - Takara, Yoshi, Riko and Hisoka. As far as I was aware, they were either civilians or the daughters of genin or chuunin corps ninja. No doubt they all had a similar fate.

Internally I debated, however eventually made up my mind. Jounin-track ninja were far more likely to die, so genin corps it is. Tomorrow I'd integrate myself with them and be utterly uninteresting.

It was going to be as boring as fuck, but then surviving was my goal.

After all, it'd be pretty shameful if I failed at that as well.

* * *

Trudging outside, already resigned to my fate, I joined Ino's Gang, as I so affectionately referred to them as. Mainly comprised of clan kids, I had avoided them on principle of not getting involved in any clan stuff, at _all_ , however I upheld my side of the deal and refrained from retreating the moment Inuzuka Kiba's voice came into hearing range.

My poor, poor eardrums.

Once it appeared the group had all its members, Ino clapped her hands together, easily gaining the attention of even Kiba.

"'Kay! Today we're playing Ninja!" Immediately all the children assembled began racing towards each other, creating teams. My toes did not appreciate it. "Oh yeah, today Satoko-chan is playing so we have even numbers! Satoko-chan, you're on the missing-nin side." Ignoring the typical exclamations of 'the quiet kid' or 'creepy eyes', I joined Nara Shikamaru, Akimichi Chouji and Hyuuga Hinata as a nuke-nin.

The logic of children - you could carry a dog with you to school, specialise in taking over people's minds or be the proud bearer of genetic eye mutations - but have a _slightly_ different appearance? Clearly, that was the strangest thing around.

In any case, this was perfect. All I had to do is hide for the entire break, and then I could eat my dango. In peace. Without any brats blowing my eardrums. Ninja was essentially a cross between hide and seek and a heavily edited version of tag, therefore if I keep it in the 'hide and seek' phase I wouldn't have to do anything.

Ah, the joys of habitual laziness.

During the one-minute head start given to missing-nin, I quickly identified a sheltered, comfortable and difficult to get to tree fork. However, the bark was still rough, showing it wasn't commonly used. Not to mention it gave a nearly perfect view out at what I assumed would become the hub of activity once the game started. Climbing a tree, I clambered along several branches (yet another thing I'd have to practice, sadly) until I reached the already identified tree fork.

Easily spotting the others - god, their hiding spots were terrible, you could clearly see that particular tree hollow was used every time - I pulled out my box of dango, content to watch the other kids tire themselves out. Shikamaru was caught fairly swiftly, mostly because he couldn't be bothered to run. Chouji was next, being unable to use many of the usual hiding spots due to his size. Hinata took a little longer as she actually ran, however after wasting both of her 'jutsu' and then being hit by three kunai she was declared dead.

Sighing, I watched as the other team ran around like headless chickens in a blatant insult to my intelligence. Why anyone would be stupid enough to pick some of those spots - some in direct sight of the starting area, honestly - was a mystery to me.

After most of break had passed, several sweaty, tired Academy students finally forfeited their pride. "Satoko-chan, we give up!" called out Ino, usually prim hair in disarray, covered in dirt and leaves. All the other figures nodded.

Raising an eyebrow, however taking their defeat into my stride, I made my way along the branches again, sliding down the tree trunk to arrive in front of several surprised children. "You were in the tree the whole time!" exclaimed Ino, breaking the silence that had occurred at the mention of my name.

"So I was." Blandly I replied, chewing on my last stick of dango. It was no chocolate - though, in all fairness, it wasn't a bad substitute. As Takenagi-sensei called for all of our year to return to class, I sauntered away, followed by many pairs of alternately shocked and interested eyes.

God, I thought the plan was _not_ to attract attention.

Well, needless to say, I was useless at it.

* * *

Yawning as he looked out the window, feeling suspiciously like he was stalking a bunch of children, Takenagi Mikio took notes on the current class. The Head Teacher was expecting reports on the potential of this class, especially since it contained so many influential clan children, so he had taken to watching them play to identify strengths and weaknesses. Surprisingly, it had been proven by T+I that it was remarkably effective.

Being filled with clan heirs, it wasn't difficult to predict which professions they would go into. Uchiha - military police, certainly. Yamanaka - almost certainly T+I, and would be part of the recurring Ino-Shika-Cho trio, along with the Nara (tactician, obviously) and the Akimichi, for some firepower. Hyuuga, Inuzuka and Aburame - tracking, as long as the Hyuuga elders didn't interfere.

Actually, they'd make a decent team later on. Quickly marking that down, he continued.

Haruno - now that was a strange one. Although a civilian, it was likely she'd pass due to her links with the Yamanaka that had recently been forged when being bullied, not to mention a good head for facts. However, her physical strength was abysmal. Frowning, he marked down a potential medic. She'd be useless at attack, not with how she flinched at hurting a fly; however, he'd have to see her chakra control in the last two years before finalising that.

Forehead creasing yet again, he watched the tight-knit group of clan kids welcome someone new. Koike Satoko.

He was under special orders from the Hokage to keep an eye on that one - although, for the life of him, he couldn't see why. Doubtless those golden eyes were slightly unnerving, however apart from the slightest resemblance to his old student there was honestly nothing special about her. At all. Quiet, patient and mature, with utterly average results - it was practically a given that she'd be dumped into the genin corps, perhaps reaching chuunin if she were lucky.

It was quite clear she was holding back, however he doubted her results would change much even if she did put the effort into work. There was some kind of deal between her and the Aburame where one would doze off while the other took notes then vice versa. Therefore, even if she did stay awake, it was highly unlikely she'd pick up much more information. During tests, her performance continued to be average, and she never made any effort to correct that.

Besides, she wasn't motivated in the slightest. Unless she miraculously gained a ton of determination overnight, none of her results would change.

Although physically fit, her katas held minor imperfections that set her apart from taijutsu practitioners. There were good reflexes she'd managed to train herself into, and he would admit she was fast for a civilian-born student, yet a single hit would send her light, gangly frame bowling. During sparring, her tactics efficiently pinned down and targeted weak spots; however, her punches simply didn't inflict enough damage.

Perhaps a shorter frame would have been beneficial in her case, as she could have capitalised on her speed through that, however as it stood she was one of the tallest in the class and grew like a weed.

All of these factors lead to the utterly ordinary rank of 13 out of 25.

However - now watching with interest, he watched as she swiftly analysed her surroundings before choosing, by far, the most strategically advantageous spot. Even he hadn't considered that spot - if he were to choose, he'd have likely buried himself underground using a doton jutsu.

'Potential for tactics' was noted by her name.

Provided she passed, of course.

Then, in a shocking display of dexterity, she easily flipped herself into the branches and made her way into a covered tree fork, where she effortlessly blended into the foliage. Eyebrows raised, he thought back to her performance in spars. None of the flexibility he just saw was ever used there. Marking down 'potential for infiltration' by her name, he carefully analysed her behaviour.

Like already identified, she was patient, willing to wait out the admittedly quite pathetic search. Mature enough to not fidget, observant by how she subtly adjusted her position to ensure she was always just out of sight, yet could still see the main body of the pack hunting for her. 'Potential for ANBU' was also noted.

Sighing as Yamanaka Ino managed to trip over a tree root and end up with a face full of leaves, he turned to the other students. Nothing exemplary stood out, although Ami would likely have to change her attitude or else she'd be dropped for bullying. They didn't want to encourage resentment among their ranks, and although he could let a certain amount of cruelty pass, what Ami was doing was causing rather a lot of animosity.

It pained him; however, he drew a large bracket around most of his student's names, with 'Will drop out, fail the exam or join the genin corps'. Sometimes it really was unfair how much of a boost clan kids got.

Scowling as the Demon dumped a bucket of slugs on top of Mizuki-san, he dropped his notes off at the main office and body flickered outside to help with the cleaning process that undoubtedly followed everywhere the damn Kyuubi kid went.

* * *

 **AN:** omg the whole thing is filler

If you liked this chapter or if you hated this chapter (after all, it is your opinion, although I'd prefer if you liked it), please leave a review! They're what keeps this story going, and without them I'd probably have quit after the first chapter, so if you'd like to see more Satoko/Naomi in the Elemental Countries, then please

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\- rosinban


	4. How to Get People to Like You

**A/N:**

This chapter is... idk, like a long series of short scenes. Likely the next chapter will be similar, however after that then the Academy days will be over.

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[edit 26/05/2017: fixed up typos and corrected tenses/phrasing, made it flow better, reasoned out her actions a little better. Also, just a correction from the previous ANs – there are _no confirmed pairings_ so far. Thank you!]

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* * *

Huffing as I decided to forgo my usual practical outfit for one of those ridiculous qipao the kunoichi of the class favoured, I mulled over how to make the civilian girls like me.

First step- remember their names.

Tugging my obstinate hair into an extremely small ponytail – if it were up to me, I'd cut it all off and be done with it, but alas, the kunoichi of the class favoured longer hair for reasons only known to them – I quickly checked my clothes in the mirror, posing just as my mother…used to. Pushing the memories away as swiftly as they came, I stepped away from the mirror.

Certainly, it wasn't psychologically healthy, but how was I supposed to explain it to someone else? 'Oh, I think I might have died and now everyone I loved is gone.' Snorting derisively at the thought, I threw my bag over my shoulder and walked out of my house, taking a moment to move 'add some kind of security against intruders' further up the list.

I mean, it didn't have to keep out a Sannin, however considering we were learning how to pick locks – well, it pushed security up my list of priorities, at least.

Arriving in the Academy classroom and approaching the up-and-coming career genin squad, I tentatively addressed the one that the others deferred to. "Takara-san?" The aforementioned brown-haired girl looked up, taking a moment to recognise me before her eyes widened in surprise and confusion.

"Ah, Satoko-san!" If anything, the confusion was becoming more pronounced as time went on. "Is there something you'd like?" Okay, I'd prepared for this – after all, there had been a very high chance she'd respond in this way.

Ah, predictability.

"U-uhm, well," Knowing I looked like the epitome of awkward – after all, I had barely any childhood memories and I had no idea how to relate to these kids – I capitalised on that. "I… don't really, well - I'm not really very social. A-and you all look really nice, so I was wondering… if I could hang out?"

Pity filled their eyes and then she warmly smiled, having no idea how belittling this was to me. Dammit, I had my pride, and now I had to act like a six year old. Keeping my resentment to myself, I simply smiled and nodded at their statements. "Of course you can, Satoko-chan!" Then immediately afterwards a barrage of questions followed.

"Wow, is that golden colour really natural?"

"…Yes?"

"That's so cool! Where did you get your outfit?"

"Um, Sakubara Ninja Outfitters?"

"Ah, I don't think I've been there before. What shampoo do you use?"

Needless to say, before the lesson even started I was sorely tempted to start hitting my head off the table from the so utterly mundane questions they were asking.

If they asked me one more question about soap brands, I was actually going to jump out the window and make a run for it.

Or snap.

Smiling sickeningly sweetly and waving them goodbye, I staged a tactical retreat to one of the seats towards the back. To my disappointment, my usual seat next to Shino was taken by Inuzuka Kiba who, for whatever reason, actually deigned himself worthy to attend the Academy.

Or, more likely, was chewed out by his mother for skipping too many times.

Either way, that was out. Eyes flicking around the remaining places, I noticed a perfect one next to Shikamaru… who was already sleeping. Impressive.

Sliding in beside him as the teacher started up his monotonous drone over the Second Shinobi War, filled with not-so-subtle hints about how 'Konoha is greater than all' and some other jargon about teamwork, I pulled out my fuuinjutsu scroll. After almost five months studying the Five Elements syntax, I thought I was nearly ready to create a time-delay explosive tag, not that my scrolls were much help. It appeared learning fuuinjutsu was a combination of a ridiculous amount of intuition and the scroll, boiled down to its bare bones, essentially said 'get an apprenticeship'.

Helpful, I know.

Carefully rereading the section on cores – it was ridiculous how much fine reading you had to do to get a meaningful answer out of these damn scrolls – I didn't notice Shikamaru stirring curiously by my shoulder.

"What's that?" Nearly dropping my scroll, I placed a calming hand over my heart, having jumped out of my skin the moment before.

"Fucking hell Shikamaru-san, don't do that!" Crabbily going back to my scroll, I pointedly ignored his question in the hope he'd go back to sleeping. Apparently he didn't get the hint, because his next action was to lean over and read it.

"'Cores are made out of several components which in turn are classified by matrix type, and each component changes depending on a variety of circumstances' – how do you understand this?" Eyebrow raised, he looked at me. Shrugging, I went back to my scroll.

"I'm using my notes to help." Taking the notebook out of my bag, I waved it at him for a brief moment before scanning it myself. "It's way simpler than it appears – all you have to do is read through the whole thing, reorder the information and then it's much easier to understand." I already decided the core would be Lightning; however I needed to go find my chakra nature before deciding on rune components. Chakra paper, wasn't it?

Damn, that stuff looked expensive, and I was pretty certain they were also restricted to genin so kids wouldn't try elemental manipulation too early. Most tags were in the Eight Trigrams syntax, however all the scrolls for that were over in the genin side of the library. After all, the only reason I even had this scroll was because someone rage quit and left it in a bin.

Unfortunately, that wasn't likely to happen again.

Well, I had been meaning to start stealth training…

But it'll be guarded…

By members of the genin corps who literally couldn't give a damn…

Operation Steal Fuuinjutsu Scrolls from the Genin Library was going to go ahead. It needed a better name though. Maybe just 'Steal Shit from the Library'. Yeah, that'd be good enough.

As Takanagi-sensei stopped talking and the screeching began, I noted something else on my internal 'To-Do list' - invest in quality earplugs, or else the genin gang's squawking would drive me insane. I could feel the headaches already.

* * *

As Satoko turned towards her newfound 'friends', she missed the look of careful contemplation Shikamaru shot her with.

* * *

Dressed from top to toe in my most convincing 'I'm a real ninja' clothes, I casually made my way into the Shinobi library, easily settling myself in the spot I usually took – a dusty cranny, doubtless rarely used, within the Academy section.

Yet today I didn't actually intend to study the many scrolls laid out before me – the ones I pulled out was purely for show, although I did ensure I hadn't already read them – no need to leave any gaps in my plan.

Between the Academy and Genin side of the library was essentially nothing – sure, there were a few genin posted there to keep Academy students out, however the genin corps members present (by the looks of it, at least) had barely scraped by the entry exam and had absolutely no defining features.

This detail was important as if it were one of the clans which had the capacity for tracking, for example the Hyuuga, no doubt they'd pick up on the fact someone with smaller reserves than usual was sneaking around. Then my plan was to retreat and try again tomorrow.

Though, this plan was counting on the fact that clans were unlikely to allow their members to be demeaned to such a dull task.

Silently standing (I had been practicing moving silently for an entire month, much to the amusement of Shino) I easily slipped through the shadows towards the genin side. Ensuring my breaths were still even and whisper-silent, I took up refuge in the 'Obscure Arts' corner (well, it had an official name, too, but for the life of me I couldn't remember it), leaning back and looking for all I was worth like I belonged there.

Provided I continued this façade, people's eyes would pass straight over me. I had this skill down to a 'T' – all I had to do was pretend Takanagi-sensei was talking and a wave of boredom passed over me.

Idly copying notes over from the scroll on the Eight Trigrams, I stayed there for longer than I had intended – and immediately, I began panicking as I noticed the shift changing over for guarding. Yet, luckily for me, the genin team were replaced by two other genin corps members who literally couldn't give a fuck.

I could sympathise, really.

After all, it was likely my future would look very similar – at least, before I slipped out under the cover of some disaster. After all, I vaguely remember many of them happening in the future of Naruto, with most of them centred on its titular character.

What with one deciding to sleep leaning against a bookshelf and the other doing some sort of chakra exercise that took his attention away from his actual job, I easily slipped back over to the Academy side and out of the library, reward in hand. Operation 'Steal Shit from the Library' completed.

* * *

Unbeknownst to anyone in the library, a masked figure lurking in the shadows quietly slipped away at the same time as Satoko.

* * *

Time slipping away like sand through fingers, a year passed at the Academy. Using the Eight Trigrams syntax, my first explosive tag (after many, many more smoke tags than I'd ever admit) was created, successfully blowing up a tree in the Academy yard. It was blamed on Kiba, of course, because who would doubt sweet little Satoko-chan?

While it lasted, I was going to make full use of my apparent 'innocence'.

Besides, of _course_ it wasn't a coincidence that both Kiba and I were unaccounted for at the time of said explosion. Not at all.

On a slightly less positive note, the ever-present itching beneath my skin had slowly been growing stronger. After a few hours of covert reading from what were _certainly not_ genin-level scrolls on the human anatomy, I tentatively attributed this to a developing chakra network, the magic of this world, and decided to skip school for a day to try to tap into it.

After all, toying with experimental energies was far more interesting than yet another lecture on the Shodaime, and it wasn't as if they could tell my parents in this world that I was skipping.

Well, they partially could, what with Wakana and Takuya still being alive (probably), but I couldn't actually give a fuck, making the threat useless.

Settling in the lotus position, I closed my eyes and searched for the energy. Surprisingly it came easily to me, while every scroll mentioned it should be difficult. Frowning, I checked the cramped paragraphs again.

Ah, I saw it.

Not only would I have spiritual energy from a previous life, however I would also have this life's chakra, too. There was also the physical conditioning outside of the Academy – far more than the average civilian student, I'd like to imagine - that aided in a chakra network that was likely quite a lot larger than most in this scroll's intended audience.

Settling again (and resigning myself to forever being a spotlight of spiritual chakra) I felt the dull thrum within my body.

Apparently, chakra often reflected personality, so I suppose it said wonders about me when it moved somewhat sluggishly, as if it really couldn't be bothered. Snorting – rather honest, wasn't it? – I tried gently manipulating it, jumping a little as it suddenly surged, creating something that resembled tiny lightning strikes. Outwardly, it felt a little like pins and needles – though, even that couldn't quite capture it. No, it felt quite similar to lying in the sun with slightly spiky grass beneath you, though even that fell a little flat.

Exhilarating, yet also sharpening.

Lying down on the wooden floor, I wondered how I ever missed it in me. Now it was there, it was as if I was hyper-aware of its every ebb and flow, that slightly warmth like gentle sunshine, yet also the bite of gusty winds. Around me, I felt that same warmth, like a mist, almost. Intangible mist.

Well, it made sense there'd be excess chakra wafting around the place – what with all the ninja around expelling it, you'd expect it to be fairly obvious.

Now, leaf sticking. Technically this wouldn't be covered for another three years, however if I remembered correctly Hatake Kakashi graduated at five years old (seriously, what the actual fuck) so it couldn't do any harm.

Feeling for the lazy ebb yet again, I poked and prodded it a little until I summoned a little to my fingertips and willed it to stick to the leaf. Exhaling a little as it stayed firmly stuck – slipping a little when I held my hand upright, however I quickly compensated for that – I then watched it gently flutter away as my concentration wavered at a ninja speeding across a roof out my window.

Damn it.

Well, at least there was a new morning exercise.

* * *

Several months later and I could finally hold several leaves while singing poorly translated songs from… I guess my 'old world', although I had no idea whether this could be considered a 'new world' or not.

Ah well. I'd decided a long time ago to roll with it. Although the pangs of losing everything still stung, I no longer dwelled on it. After all, it was easier to deal with if I pushed it down; waiting until the loss was no longer was quite so raw. (When would it be less raw, though? Hadn't it been long enough? Or was I just lying-)

In any case, all that remained of my old world's influence on me was a small notebook written in English, detailing my life and those I held dear to me.

Though, in this world, the last thing I wanted was for them to think I was a nutter, not to mention the idea of 'democracy' would be seen as a dangerous idea in what essentially was a military dictatorship under a regular dictatorship, what with all those Daimyo. So a shrine was out, although I did crudely sew a pocket onto the inside of my shorts band (extremely crudely – there was a reason I received consistent scores of 1/10 for kunoichi classes, which essentially meant 'you're absolutely shit at this') which was where my little book went – on my person at all times.

My security was still too basic for me to rely on it to keep out anyone that was serious.

Either way, I was getting distracted. Getting a rank of 13 all the time was wearing on my nerves - really, I should've played the prodigy card when I had the chance. Then there were the damn civilian kids giving me permanent migraines, fuuinjutsu making it worse and feeling chakra literally all around me at all times of day giving me even more severe insomnia than before – literally, fuck this place.

Its only saving grace was magic – well, chakra – which was what I was experimenting with now.

Dog. Boar. Ram.

Feeling chakra expel into the air, thickening its water-like consistency further, I focused on my old self. Brown, unruly hair cut short. Disproportionately large nose. Slight cheekbones.

Blinking a little as smoke wafted around me – noting it was how much extra chakra I had put into the technique – I looked at myself in the mirror and frowned a little as some patches of skin appeared blanched white and my legs uneven in length.

Shivering a little as I released it, I resolved to train harder.

Studiously, I ignored the rancid thoughts that told me to give up, that there was no point – that I didn't have the invulnerability that came with an omniscient author hanging over my head like Naruto, nor did I have the pure strength to pull through, and that my larger-than-average reserves were only going to get me killed faster.

No.

I wasn't going to listen.

Yet - this wasn't even my world. What was I doing?

Sinking into a small ball, I leaned back against the foot of my bed, wanting nothing more than to be back at home with mum. Not Wakana, not any of the cheap replacements that they waved in my face _as if I wouldn't be able tell the fucking difference_ , but my actual mum. Living somewhere with peace on the horizon, without standing among the ranks of killers-in-training, without having my own mortality hanging over my head every time I saw Sasuke or Naruto or any of the Naruto cast-

Shaking my head, I (grudgingly) pushed those rational thoughts out of my mind. Getting depressed would do nothing.

My stomach dropped like a stone as I recognised some of my thoughts were in Japanese.

Well, it made logical sense – after all, I had spent years not speaking a single syllable of English, and there hadn't exactly been many opportunities for practice.

It still burned.

(Just a little.)

Exhaling shakily, I succumbed to the desire to link some part of me to my old world. And I knew I would regret, knew I would like I knew the back of my hand and like I knew that fate was a bitch of epic proportions – yet I was terrified of losing myself, and suddenly that possibility seemed a little too close for comfort.

Every day, I would speak a little English, even if it skyrocketed the chances of me being caught out by the suspicious ninja bastards. And I'd ensure all my thoughts were English. Who knows, it might guard against those Yamanaka mind techniques if I'm ever caught.

…not that I'd ever want that to happen. No siree, I think I'd be quite happy staying out of T+I for the rest of my life thank you very much.

Ensuring the sloppy security seals I created were active – they merely slightly blurred images and sound like all those outside were hearing and seeing everything from underwater – I stared at Satoko's face in the mirror.

Those golden eyes looked too mature, too dark, to be on such youthful features. Her nose was snub and slightly upturned, not long and hooked. Her chin too prominent, lashes too dark – everything was _wrong_ (wrong wrong wrong it was just all _wrong_ -)

Pressing my lips together irritably – no need to get self-conscious now – I ignored the strange face that stared back and spoke.

"Hello." English easily rolled off my tongue, and my heart admittedly lightened from hearing something so familiar again. "I'm Naomi Harper, my alias being Koike Satoko. I'm…hmm… maybe thirty or so by now? My original birthday was February the 2nd, but it's December the 20th or some shit now…" Sitting in front of the mirror, I talked to myself for a while, reacquainting myself with the all-too-familiar words I dared to forget.

This was okay.

* * *

Every morning I continued to train, slowly increasing the workload. Perhaps when I got a little older I might consider weights, however trying them too early would simply stunt growth.

Although, maybe a small stunt in growth might be appreciated. For some reason, I seemed to be exceptionally tall in this life, the tallest in the class. Perhaps it wouldn't last until puberty; however I had the distinct feeling that it wasn't to be the case.

Woo. I get be a giant.

Lots of fun hitting my forehead of doorframes.

Chakra training had also been introduced, usually consisting of mainly meditation, then a few shots at a jutsu. I had henge down to an art, and was currently practicing bunshin. Not having a teacher aid me slowed my progress a little, however it was still taking far shorter than the Academy standard of a few months per technique.

Well, of course.

I'd be ashamed if I picked up things at the same speed as a ten year old.

However, instead of wandering off to be antisocial and maybe take a few naps after the Academy, I used the time for interacting with my fellow peers. Not only did it look more normal, Ino stopped bothering me (which was a huge plus in my opinion) and it allowed me to sharpen my observation skills and pick up on news more quickly.

Well, some news. Clearly seven year olds wouldn't comment on the political situation in an ordinary conversation, however hints can be drawn from insinuations and unspoken words. And seven year olds were terrible at hiding their words.

Evenings were taken experimenting with fuuinjutsu – exploding tags had been accomplished and now I was working on the most basic of barrier tags. Barriers were awesome.

Overall, I was moderately happy with my situation. If only nightmares would just lay off (and it was shameful how I still hadn't gotten over it because I was an adult and it had been _years_ -) it would be perfect.

Then the first 'event' happened.

Turning up at the Academy I blinked at the lack of dark-haired, broody students littered around the place.

'Uchiha Massacre.' Something whispered in my mind. Sharply twisting around and seeing only Kiba acting like an idiot – wait no, just acting like Kiba – I continued, nose crinkled. Giving a slight shake of my head at Takara's usually exuberant greetings I walked in, eyes drifting to where Sasuke would usually be fending off those fangirls that started early, and noticing a conspicuous absence of the Uchiha.

'Itachi killed them' Frowning with a practical storm cloud over my head, I barged my way through the masses of people.

'Itachi killed them.'

Dumping my bag at the back and promptly planting my face on the desk, I looked for any discrepancies in my chakra network that would suggest genjutsu. None.

'Itachi killed them.' Shutting my eyes, I let my brain show me whatever the hell it wanted to. Surfacing to the forefront of my mind, I saw distant memories of a TV, showing 'Naruto'. Huh, I'd thought I'd completely forgot about that. Amidst an eerie darkness, I saw… Shisui giving up an eye to Itachi? I had heard disjointed rumours flying around the Military Police that 'Shunshin no Shisui', Shisui of the Body Flicker, had apparently committed suicide however Itachi was suspect.

This was extremely strange.

It went on. A few grisly murder scenes saw Itachi murder his clan with the aid of… Uchiha Madara?

Taking a long, slow breath out, my eyes flickered open, mind processing what I'd just seen.

Clearly, this was all far too much for such a weak (and I gritted my teeth and bore it) child to deal with, let alone influence. However, that didn't mean I couldn't analyse what I'd seen.

Who was to blame? Firstly, no doubt the Hokage knew the truth. However, the news that Danzo put down the clan as they were planning a coup wouldn't go over well at all. No doubt it'd infuriate the other clans of Konoha, since whittled down it's essentially 'the Uchiha clan stepped outside their boundaries, so we cut them down'.

Itachi was also only quiet as long as Sasuke was still alive and in full belief that his brother heartlessly murdered everyone, and the Hokage would honour Itachi's twisted wish to appear a murderer, which erased many possibilities of blaming an outside force.

Not to mention that the Hokage was trying to distance himself from his image as warmonger – not that it was particularly hard, considering how decrepit he was now – and so wouldn't take this as a military opportunity. Therefore, the official story would likely be that Itachi cracked as a prodigy – minimal backlash against Konoha's squeaky-clean reputation, wouldn't infuriate the clans and what's more, the Hokage would use this as an opportunity to promote his idealistic values, most likely by forbidding any more child prodigies.

Though this was all technically hypothesising, I couldn't help but feel that there were better options than debilitating his own ninjas.

Actual prodigies would never flourish in this environment.

Either way, Danzo could be considered be the cause, since although the clan obviously had to be wiped out, there were far less macabre ways to do it, as well as leaving fewer remnants (Itachi, Sasuke _and_ Madara were still alive, honestly) and far less suspicious circumstances as well. No doubt that even if I hadn't had half-forgotten memories of the series, I would have still been highly sceptical that Itachi simply _cracked_.

Blinking and frowning deeply at the onset of another migraine, I shut my eyes again. Why would I remember this? Of course, I watched Naruto at some point in my life – I think I might have been around 13 years old – and then forgot all about it. A passing fancy, you might call it. Something to simply occupy time, rather than of any particular relevance. To remember it in such detail though…

No, not this. My thought process was leaning towards some convoluted reincarnation theories. Just accept the free information and move on.

Coming to a sudden realisation that the table was extremely comfortable and I was tired, I allowed my eyelids to slide shut and began unceremoniously snoring.

* * *

Kunoichi classes.

God, I hated them.

"Let's see what arrangements you've made today!" Ami was up first, the little shit, beaming innocently. If only Suzume-sensei knew she had taken up a habit of bullying in her spare time – or, more likely, Suzume did know and simply didn't care. Undoubtedly, though, Ami's bouquet was nice.

Even I, all but blind to the 'flower arts', as Suzume liked to call them, could appreciate the aesthetic value in a very shallow way.

"Beautiful, Ami-chan!" Crowing under the praise, she smirked victoriously at the rest of us. Snorting, mentally I shook my head pityingly. Suzume-sensei gave out praises to everyone who made even a half-decent attempt at a bouquet.

"Lovely, Ino-chan! What a beautiful message! Now…" Looking at me, I could see her smile become visibly strained. Well, I suppose part of it was my fault.

After all, throughout all kunoichi classes I have likely been one of the larger thorns in her side, as she would put it in her ever-eloquent ways. A pain the arse also drove the point home, in any case.

Firstly was the issue of turning up.

For the first few weeks, I either didn't appear or turned up with only half an hour of the lesson left, citing any excuse I could make up on the spot, to which she'd give me a pained look and tell me that she'd rather I not turn up at all than have that sort of behaviour.

So I didn't turn up for two months. It got so bad she had to physically go and fetch me from wherever I had taken my nap.

Then the fact I utterly failed kunoichi classes. Blankly refusing to wear a kimono after the first time – in my defence, it felt like I was crushed and strangled at the same time – taking naps during flower arranging time and accidently crushing half the flowers in my sleep, being completely tune deaf and incapable of playing an instrument-

Sometimes I think I would have been better off being reborn or whatever shit as a male, since I was obviously incapable of acting like a civilian woman during this time and age.

Well, either way, I presented a bunch of flowers I had idly snatched up after my nap before we were called in again. "Uhm, Satoko-chan, this arrangement… tells me that you feel true love, yet you also feel hatred towards me, and that you are…pious?"

Blinking, I looked back again. Oh yeah, that flower was a – tarweed, I think? Whoops. "Sorry about that, Suzume-sensei." Carelessly dropping the flowers on the ground, I shrugged, eyes droopy. "I thought that red one there was a zinnia."

"Zinnia don't even bloom at this time of year, Satoko-chan!" Berating me lightly, I absently noted she'd make a terrible _actual_ teacher. Likely she hadn't had to teach anyone who wasn't interested in the subject. "I've already explained that- oh wait-" suddenly realising something, she pinched the bridge of her nose "-you never turn up on time."

Internally I was cackling at this poor, poor teacher however outwardly I pouted, looking like any other innocent child. "But Suzume-sensei, that cat was very important to my neighbour's cousin's ex-wife." Folding my arms, I was physically restraining giggles. "If we let it go wild, it could have died! Are you saying you condone animal torture when it could be prevented?"

"You should be focusing on your grades rather some animal-" Looking up, she saw the sulking faces of several prepubescent kids who no doubt loved their pet cat Mittens more than their own wellbeing. "Look, you know that isn't true, your neighbour's friend's… oh, whoever's cat didn't go missing."

"Excuse me, Suzume-sensei, but you can ask the cat. I can assure you, it did go missing."

Looking like she would love nothing better than never to see me in her class again, Suzume simply decided I was a lost cause (a wonder that she kept regaining hope in me, honestly) and moved on. "Sakura-chan? Sorry for the wait, you can show me your arrangement now – wow, that's lovely! It suits your dress so well, you know…"

Honestly, she made messing with her such a simple feat.

* * *

If Nara Shikamaru were asked what he felt about a certain ebony-haired, golden-eyed classmate, no doubt the first word that would spring to mind would be 'troublesome'.

Now, this wasn't particularly special all by itself, since considering his entire class was filled with snot-nosed brats; doubtless, nearly all of them would be classified as 'troublesome' except for Chouji, and probably Ino. However, the strangest part about her would be that he actually paid some passing attention to her, unlike most of his fellow peers.

After all, she was interesting.

A passing interest, perhaps he should say, in a similar way to the mystery novels that he occasionally was motivated to read until the end.

However, more than saying 'troublesome', or how he was mildly interested in what made her tick; no, he'd be interested as to why they asked about her, as sometimes he felt he was the only one with basic skills of observation.

When he says Takenagi-sensei was no more aware than a dead slug, he meant how blatantly unaware he was of her skill. Sure, her ranking was average, being a mere 13, her physical prowess being sloppy at best and was 'friends' with the career genin that liked to clump together, yet there were cracks in her performance.

Subconsciously, no matter how much she attempted to stay hidden, she left clues. She didn't want to be in the background. She wanted to be bright. Be the centre of attention. Be great.

And it showed. Any interaction, no matter how content it appeared from a distance, was strained, as if she had to force herself to interact with others. Day to day, simply a few minutes of observation identified tics that seemed innocuous enough – tapping a table or leg, a slight tilt of a head, a slight slump to her (already terrible) posture. By themselves, they might be a mere habit. However, coupled with speech patterns and (intense) observation, you could tell that tapping a table meant annoyance, tilting her head meant frustration or irritation, and slumping her shoulders meant anger.

Certainly odd ways to display them, yet ways of displaying them nevertheless. This showed maturity – the ability to keep a lid on her emotions was not something his other idiotic classmates possessed, sadly enough.

Ino had spotted this as well, he was certain, and likely sooner than him too – yet she could also recognise that her presence wouldn't do anything except exacerbate those tendencies, and so Shikamaru took her lead and hung back.

However, that still didn't account for that notebook. Sure, the pages she directed him to that one time showed simplistic diagram obviously copied off scrolls, yet on occasion he spotted a glimpse of (read: had searched through her stuff and looked at) some of the later sketches. No longer did they look like simplistic lines – they were works of art, lines intertwining in intricate dances only understood by her own eyes.

Later, he had searched up the art she dabbled in and found a wealth of mostly abandoned information on sealing – an obviously unpopular art due to how expensive it was and how it had so little obvious combat potential. Additionally, a huge part of it was sheer intuition – the ability to think of off-the-wall plans, look in directions passed over by other eyes.

How that intelligence – passed off as _mediocrity_ of all things - was kept silent was beyond him.

There was also a small matter of whatever was up with her pronunciation. Obviously her dialect was of the countryside, although that had slowly blended into an odd mix of Konoha's 'proper', military-influenced speech and the coarser way of the outlying towns, yet the way each syllable was spoken – it was like she was used to putting stress on different letters, which was quite frankly _odd_.

Nevertheless, she seemingly effortlessly managed to wrap this under several layers of sweet-talking, body language and controlled failure, so much so that she was practically invisible to a passing eye.

In fairness, the composition of the class was probably what made the whole façade work. Passing eyes would be drawn to the clan heirs, to Uchiha Sasuke, perhaps even to himself for being so lazy. If they took the liberty of even sparing a glance at the genin corps recruits, their eyes would be redirected to Takara, their leader, or perhaps Yoshi for her forthright behaviour.

Never the introverted, shy, yet utterly plain Satoko.

After over a year dwelling on whatever Satoko was – her motivations, actions, odds and ends, he simply gave up.

"Dad, do you know who Koike Satoko is?"

Pausing from his sip of sake, his father watched him with narrowed eyes. "Shikamaru-kun, you're too young for girls. Give it up."

Spluttering for a moment, he quickly collected himself. "No, that's not what this is about!" Hmm, perhaps that was the wrong question. "Why would someone deliberately hide their intelligence, apart from being lazy?"

Nodding in approval, father took a swig of sake before responding. "If you're referring to a genin or chuunin, it would be because they don't want to become jounin. They don't want to endanger their lives, what with how many bounty hunters target the big bounties on tokubetsu jounin or full jounin." Exhaling, his father leaned back slightly from where he was at the kitchen counter. "Of course, you're referring to an Academy student, aren't you?" At Shikamaru's nod, Shikaku continued. "Well, I've heard Koike Satoko has taken a liking to driving a certain… Suzume-sensei up the wall. Poor lady has started visiting the bar every few days, complaining about her very own problem student."

Huffing a little, Shikamaru turned his head back to the clouds. "I already know she subconsciously wants attention. I want to find out why she would cover it up. She gives off all sorts of conflicting messages."

Humming, his father laid in the grass next to him. "How smart would you say she was?"

"Extremely." Stretching out a little under the sun, he revealed a small extent of his stalking. "At one point, I looked at her books. It was all coded, but I think it was about fuuinjutsu-" he carefully noted his father's eyebrows suddenly shooting up his forehead "-and that's a ridiculously difficult art, isn't it?"

"Correct. I'll not mention the stalking to your mother, don't worry." Chuckling at the obstinate expression that surfaced, he relaxed under the shadows of the Nara forest. "Yes, it is incredibly difficult, needing a combination of a quick mind and natural talent. That's why the Yondaime has been one of the only people to use it on a regular basis as part of a successful combat strategy – it could only be used by him due to his innate genius and all that prodigal talent. If this Satoko-chan already understands fuuinjutsu, it means she has both a knack for it and enough sheer intelligence to understand it at all."

Sighing, he took another swig of sake. "Since she's a civilian student, she doesn't have the same training that you get as a clan kid. Likely she has very little faith in her skills. Therefore, she'll attempt to downplay them to get into the genin corps, which are far safer since you get the benefits of being a ninja, such as being able to train and safely practice ninja arts, while also rarely going on missions that pose even the slightest risk.

"Also, if she's as intelligent as you think she is, likely she also sees the dangers of being actively hunted due to strength, and so would like to go to the genin or chuunin corps to escape that fate. Why do you think jounin are so paranoid? You have to believe that everyone and everything is out to get you." Eyes flicking over to Shikamaru, he could see his son was deep in thought. "Though, if you think she has enough skill to get to jounin without dying first, I don't think they'd refuse a word from the Jounin Commander."

Shikamaru was internally hitting himself. How couldn't he see that? No wonder his dad beat him in every shogi game, although they lasted for half an hour now, rather than that original pathetic ten minutes.

However, even if she had the intelligence for it, trying to boost her confidence himself would both be too troublesome and she'd probably notice it. Therefore asking his dad to put in a good word for her would be the next best option. But Ino had already lectured him on making decisions without gaining people's approval first…

Tch. This was so troublesome.

"Yeah. Sure. Put in a recommendation. She'd never agree that's it's the best choice."

* * *

okay please let me explain before... stuff.

Satoko is not a master at hiding feelings. Sure, she might have a poker face during games, but really anyone can hold a straight face. It's another thing entirely to hide two decades of knowledge and maturity, not to mention she's bored as fuck and bored people do stupid things.

Therefore the fact that something of an intrigued child genius (I hold the opinion that if he was actually motivated he'd kick everyone's asses so much, like damn), her chuunin teacher and a passing ANBU noticed that she was faking her intelligence isn't really surprising, nor is she a Mary-Sue and able to do everything so perfectly that 'omg not even hokage could tell' - just, no.

Nor will Satoko be the fourth member of Team 7 (I'd probably cry if I had to read that travesty) or with any big clan kids, really.

wow, over 20,000 words already? aha, never thought I'd get over 10,000, that's rather surprising...

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	5. Mixing Hormones, Fangirls and Sasuke

**A/N:**

I've decided to skip straight to graduation. Mostly because I thought you guys wouldn't be particularly interested hearing Satoko bitch about her immature classmates. Although I do have a few filler chapters in the making in case I can't make the deadline for some reason. I might try a few non-chronological chapters, though that's still a 'maybe'.

Enjoy!

* * *

Twirling my pencil between my fingers, to all other classmates it appeared I was in deep thought over the paper laid out in front of me. Perhaps even to Iruka-sensei and Mizuki-sensei, since they never really did give a fuck about me. Why would they?

As far as they were concerned, I was a nice, normal civilian student who would graduate as a vaguely mediocre ninja. Unlike Takenagi-sensei, they didn't catch any of my early slip-ups in acting, and I had barely interacted with them at all.

Speaking of Takenagi-sensei, he'd apparently 'left' a little way into my fourth year. Clearly he had died – why else would he suddenly disappear one third of the year in? Not to mention it suspiciously coincided with a large number of black blurs flying across rooftops, all towards the western side of town.

Of course, they didn't want to traumatise kiddies, so the excuse was that he merely left.

Not to mention telling us that a teacher managed to get himself killed would likely permanently ensure our class would never take a teacher seriously again. A slightly more practical view on a morbid subject, however doubtless it was considered.

Turning my attention back to the fully shaded drawing of 'Me as a Ninja, version 2384' and hopefully the last of its series (provided I passed this test) I began pencilling in some more fire jutsu (I'd stolen some chakra paper and found I was actually lightning, but no one needed to know that). Of course, I was quickly brought out of my reverie by the utter imbeciles I was surrounded by.

"Sasuke-kun looks so cute when he's concentrating, doesn't he?" squealed Takara from the row in front of me. An overwhelming urge to plant my face into the desk fell over me.

"Yes, he does!"

Recently I experienced the pain of being surrounded by idiots. This was no big change.

However now it was idiots with hormones.

God, they should be grateful they were even born here. Tsunade-sama invented a pill that stopped periods as blood was a liability for any ninja, so at least they didn't have that disaster to deal with.

Meanwhile, instead of actually training, they grew their hair out so much so that it'd be a massive pain in the ass if they actually did anything, went on diets and stalked Sasuke like the creepy fuckers they were. My pride was actually twinging from having to throw spars against the frankly pathetic opponents I was pitted against. It would be so simple just to end this all…

Nope. Rule number #2, invented after all the brats around me mixed puberty and 'Sasuke-kun'. No killing of fellow classmates. No matter how tempting it was.

"HEY!" Oh god. That one had turned up. "Teme! Fight me!"

"NARUTO! Leave Uchiha-san alone!"

Naruto had transferred into our class last year, having failed to graduate early twice. Needless to say, if anyone were to die in this class (not that I'd have anything to do with it, of course), it'd probably be him. Loudmouthed, disruptive and constantly pranking, he was the epitome of everything I hated with this damned class.

Not to mention that not only did he have the entire anime named after him, he'd grow to be the strongest in probably all the Elemental Countries, which pained me. Like, seriously. How much deux ex machina was required to bring that around?

Quite a lot, if my memory serves me right, what with being the son of two legendary ninja, having a demon made out of chakra in his stomach and one of the Sannin teaching him.

Fucking Goku clones everywhere.

Ah well. That guy can go run off and fight all those 'insurmountable' opponents. Meanwhile, I'll be happy running away as a genin – not fantastically strong, but extremely alive, and that was okay with me. No need for any near death experiences, not for me. Because, if I remember rightly, he got a hole blown in his chest at some point. Ouch. He can keep that, thank you very much.

"Your time is up!" Having apparently subdued the errant Uzumaki, Mizuki watched us like a hawk as Iruka picked up the tests. "Okay, go into the corridor. We'll call you in one at a time to give you the last tests, and then inform you on whether you passed or not."

"Ah, I don't think I did too well!" Seemingly tempted to chew on her perfectly manicured nails, Yoshi was one of three of us 'career genin' left in the program.

Unsurprising, really.

All the others had already dropped, leaving Takara (who was in severe danger of failing this exam, considering she depleted her chakra reserves making a single bunshin) and Yoshi. I could respect that she was slightly less of a fangirl; nevertheless, she only had book smarts, having fallen into the pit of dieting and losing any potential muscle mass she might have been able to gain. "What was the answer to the tactical problem again?"

Well, there were multiple answers, although I went with the textbook version. "Ah, I said that we should circle around and launch a sneak attack." Pointedly I ignored the small snort from behind me, courtesy of one Shikamaru Nara.

Sure, it was clear that luring the enemy into favourable land towards the bogs was the actual solution; however, the idea was that everything I wrote was paraphrased from my notes, with no independent thought required.

"Oh no, that's not what I wrote at all!" As she was close to tears, Takara not much better, I awkwardly patted Yoshi on the shoulder, internally shying from the heavy stench of perfume that hung around her.

Scentless was clearly the best way to go in this world – after all, there was an entire Clan based upon dog partners and an enhanced sense of smell in Konoha. No need to make it any simpler for them.

"I'm sure what you wrote is fine." Blandly noting they'd started calling out names ('Aburame, Shino'), I swiftly went back to patting as they utterly freaked out. So much for the whole 'emotionless ninja' thing the Shinobi Rules pushed.

"Y-yeah?" Sniffed Yoshi, delicately blowing her nose on (scented) handkerchiefs. "How would you know? You barely do any work, and you always do fine regardless! All you do is take naps!"

By then, we'd attracted hell of a lot of attention since everyone else was silent. Quickly dragging a hand through my hair in resignation, I attempted to assuage her self-doubting. "Please don't accuse me of never working. I do a lot more exercise, which makes up for not studying as much." Gently continuing to rub her shuddering shoulders, I went on to step two of my 'Comfort Idiotic Peers' course of action for events such as this. "Besides, even if you don't do the best in the class, that's okay. I'm sure you did well enough. Both of you are really smart, anyway."

Both were too distraught to notice, however I'm positive that lazy Nara did judging by his sudden widening of eyes – I essentially told them exactly the same thing every time they decided to have an inconvenient crying session with me awkwardly hanging by their shoulder.

Ah well. It was the last day.

Hopefully.

"Katsushika, Takara."

One last comforting pat on the shoulder, and I happily waved at her retreating back, hopefully never to have to interact with her sheep-like fangirl-ism ever again. Once this test was over, I could have a genuine reason to get rid of them without drawing unneeded suspicion to my unnatural maturity.

Or more like common sense.

Once, I might have excused their behaviour – after all, I did have a very large leg up in terms of mental maturity – however, dealing with the same petty grievances for years had left me a little dry of sympathy.

"Do you think she'll be okay?" Now gently biting her bottom lip, Yoshi inspected her nails – why the actual fuck was she wearing makeup? Ninja, not fashion model. Sure, if she was going to be infiltrating or something, maybe, but she was _twelve_. Then again, once you received your headband here you were legally an adult, which I found ridiculous. I mean, my old world…

Fuck. Nope.

It doesn't exist anymore.

All that exists is Koike Satoko.

"Aa. Probably." Turning back to face the wall, it was a pretty clear 'not in the mood' sign for even the most ignorant of folk.

Well, some of the most ignorant of folk.

Of course, Uzumaki was even more ignorant than average and so wouldn't take the hint, however I had already resigned myself to having to deal with his orange ass, considering he was supposedly the saviour of this world in the future.

"Koike, Satoko."

Giving a clipped nod to Yoshi, I calmly paced in. These tests were too easy, honestly. Any dunce could pass, proved by none other than Naruto himself.

Well, actually, a correction. Any dunce with the right family.

Behind the doors was a large hall, a long table lined along one side. Iruka gave a warm smile with a panel of extremely bored chuunin filling out paperwork behind him. That guy – Mizuki, I think – sat off to one side. Well, wasn't as if he'd be around much longer. Summoning up all my (distant) memories of Naruto brought me to believe he was caught handing out (badly hidden) S-ranked secrets and charged on the attempted murder of Naruto.

God, he was an idiot.

What would have happened if the CONTAINER were broken? I'd assume it was something like breaking a vase – everything, in this case an angry nine-tailed demon fox, would come out. So, fox on the loose. Did no one think of consequences?

"Okay, Satoko-chan." Raising an eyebrow at my nonchalant nod, he ploughed on regardless. "I'd like you to throw these shuriken and kunai at the targets."

Slipping into the proper stance, I gripped the weapons, carefully ensuring my wrist was a tiny bit off. After all, I should know, having spent years firing these into targets. Basic skills were perfect for my situation, being utterly normal yet as devastating (more so, in some cases) as flashy jutsu.

Pulling several purposefully slightly off throws, I noted they were all arranged haphazardly around the centres of the targets – near enough to assume they were no coincidence, yet far enough to suggest it was nowhere near perfect.

Nodding in approval, I moved back to the centre of the hall.

"Okay." Almost imperceptibly flicking his eyes over to Mizuki lounging in the corner, he turned back to me quickly. Yet I'd gotten good at reading where people were looking – prided myself on it – and so noticed how he gave a significant nod. Tensing, I watched him carefully. "I'd like you to perform the Bunshin no Jutsu."

Purposefully slowing my hand seals slightly (Ram. Snake. Tiger), two near-perfect bunshin came to life in bursts of smoke. Of course, the density was a little off – partially due to hand seal inaccuracies, partially due to lack of practice - but what did that matter? Essentially, the technique was near useless without genjutsu filling in the gaps (like shadows, for one), and I most certainly didn't have the control for genjutsu.

All that bull about kunoichi being support types? That's only if they don't supplement their training with large amounts of exercise as well as having a lifetime of information in their brain, more than making up for naturally smaller reserves. Considering my old world was essentially based entirely off the acquisition of knowledge, it's no wonder I had a ton of chakra.

As such, my control was admittedly horrible.

Internally shuddering from all those memories of floating that _fucking leaf_ , I focused on Iruka, dispersing the clones with a simple ram seal.

"Well, I'm glad to say you've passed!" Cheering with just a trace of genuine emotion – at the very least, I would have been extremely disappointed if I had actually failed – I accepted my forehead protector with an easily plastered-on smile, tying it around my arm. After all, I wasn't such an idiot that I needed to protect myself from concussions just by walking, unlike some people, and so I'd rather have it out of the way.

Nodding approvingly, Iruka then went on with his obviously pre-prepared speech. "You can pick up your paperwork at the Hokage's office any time between today and Sunday-" an entire week for paperwork? Wasn't that a little extreme? "-so then everything will be done before next week. Monday we'll be announcing group formations, so ensure you're on time for that."

"Thank you very much, Iruka-sensei!" Walking outside, I was greeted by the not-so-pretty sight of Takara sobbing her heart out into her parent's chest – and speaking of which, her parents didn't look too surprised, although they did look at their own headbands rather mournfully, as if it say 'this is where our line ends'. However, I had no use for Takara anymore, and so easily shifted through the crowds, leaving her behind.

A pang of remorse sank in my stomach; however, I easily banished it. After all, I never wanted to interact with her in the first place, and my intention was only ever to use her as a smoke screen.

You couldn't go half-assed through a plan.

(Yet – how far was I willing to go?)

Later I found Yoshi had passed (barely), however promptly slammed the door in her face after that. Well, not after telling her how much that perfume she stank of reeked like hell and that it pissed me off. In those words.

Maybe I traumatised her a little; however, I was fiddling with complicated fuuinjutsu and had no use for such a waste of time.

Guilt rose again – feeble, though, and more like a fading memory of what guilt should feel like.

However, no. I shouldn't be guilty. Security seals – especially those that used intent as a factor – made my mind ache. Honestly, it had taken almost eight months to make this particular improvement, and no way was I messing it up because of one brat who couldn't keep her manicured nails off the ink.

* * *

For the rest of that week everything passed rather uneventfully.

After picking up the ridiculous amount of bureaucracy involved in becoming a ninja, procrastinating the said paperwork in favour of poking around the genin library and copying down my first (legitimate) lightning jutsu, I took some time for naps and brooding.

Shamefully, most of my thoughts centred on Yoshi and Takara – however, by the end of the week, I'd convinced myself that it was the right way to go. Or perhaps it was the peace and quiet that did the convincing for me.

By the time Monday came back around, I felt vaguely satisfied in a way I hadn't thought possible. Light, even, in a way I hadn't really thought possible up until this point.

A nice, safe position in the genin corps was imminent.

Of course, that thought itself grated on my nerves – however, that wouldn't mean I would be _weak_ , per se, just unnoticed. (Which didn't make it any better.)

Drawn out of my thoughts by a sudden jump in noise level, I looked up at the entrance to the room just in time to see the Uchiha Prince strut in.

I scanned the room. All the front benches were occupied by overeager civilians, the back ones by the 'clan kids', and three of the four middle benches were either already filled or had his fangirls eagerly pointing out spaces where he could sit.

We locked eyes, mine daring him to try and his… mildly amused.

As he walked over, I frowned heavily as he sat, looking even more broody and angsty than his family members back when they were alive. There were less than complimentary whispers hissed from the other (summarily rejected) fangirls in the other rows; however, they (wisely) didn't attempt to move me out of _my_ spot.

After the one time they tried to get me to move while I was quite happily enjoying a nap, they learned to back off.

Since then, Sasuke had taken to sitting by me when wishing to take refuge from fangirls. Of course, it didn't work all the time, what with Takara and Yoshi also being infatuated – but at least they were less rabid.

Slightly.

"Sure, I'll let you sit here, Sasuke." Several fangirls gasped, scandalised yet again, however Sasuke had long gotten used to how easily I tossed away honorifics. Propping up my chin with the back of my hand, I gave an amused smile, which widened as I saw his eyes narrow in suspicion. Ah, he knew me so well. "Think of it as a present. After all, you are getting put in a team with one, ah, Uzumaki Naruto."

"What are you talking about? Dobe didn't pass. Again."

"Perhaps the Hokage pulled a few political strings, because I spotted him picking up the Genin paperwork when I was handing mine in. Of course, he promptly threw it all on the floor saying he didn't like 'papery-thingies' however regardless-" Sadistic amusement was found in Sasuke's rapidly paling face "-he's a ninja, and dead last. Top student and dead last are put together in a team. Hence you and Uzumaki."

"Tch." Glaring at the window, as if it caused all his problems, he began silently fuming. Well, I suppose he had a right. Uzumaki was an idiot and would continue to be an idiot in the foreseeable future – and beyond, according to my memories.

An idiot who happened to have the Kyuubi to patch up the injuries from his mistakes so he could do the same idiotic things all over again.

Pulling a pained expression at how he would somehow end up being stronger than all of us (provided I wasn't dead by then, of course) I took to looking around the classroom. Disappointed fangirls mooched around, alternating between being hopeful to get onto Sasuke's team, squealing as they 'secretly' peeked at his form and chatting about inane and useless subjects – I should know, I was forced to partake in them for six years of misery.

Of course, then Naruto walked in, sporting his brand new headband proudly. Snickering at the ill-concealed misery I had helped foster in Sasuke, I lay my head down for a short shut-eye until Iruka came in.

Of course, it wasn't to be.

"My toe went in one second before yours!" Of course, the ones to wake me up were Sakura and Ino. Well, Sakura was always a little too childish for me, despite knowing she would eventually grow up - getting upset about her forehead of all things, honestly – however, I'd expect the Yamanaka to be slightly more responsible, considering she didn't have the excuse of 'civilian'.

Hinata was the only girl who was vaguely reliable, and even then, she just found someone else to stare at. Someone worse.

Admittedly, though, her family was a little fucked up.

In other news, Ino and Sakura's argument had devolved back to the maturity of five year olds in record time.

Ah well. As far as I knew, nothing fantastically important happened here, apart from a 'humorous' interlude of Naruto and Sasuke kissing before Iruka came in and told us our team designations – though, really, I already knew that I would be put in a team they knew would fail. Then I could leave and get on with life as a career genin, surviving on the basic wage given to all ninja as well as any menial tasks needing doing.

It was almost certain I'd also be assigned chuunin or tokubetsu jounin, whose only purpose in the proceedings was to fail us.

Ah, averageness. Boring, but ultimately lengthening my lifespan.

"SHUT UP!" Yep. There's Iruka. Opening my eyes, I was greeted by the sight of a fuming Iruka, depressed fangirls and Naruto covered in bruises. Usually, I might have felt a smidgen of concern – but considering it was Naruto, I really wasn't bothered.

"Here are the team placements now." Considering she was practically vibrating in her seat and sneaking not-so-subtle glances at Sasuke, it was clear what Sakura was thinking about. Come to think of it, her entire Academy existence seemed to revolve around Sasuke.

That was a rather disturbing thought. I'd rather not live in a world that rotated around the ever-brooding Last Uchiha.

"Team One - Takayama Yoshiaki, Obuchi Takamasa and Ohba Yoshi. Your sensei is Izumo Kamizuki." I'm pretty certain one of the two lazy chuunin at the gates was called 'Izumo'. Ah well. That answered where she was going pretty well.

"Team Two…" Iruka continued listing off random names, many of which I had no idea existed in our class of 18 people. Of course, some teams were still taken (Teams 3 and 4) however those were the only exceptions – wait, wasn't nine also taken? Ah well. Just proved how many ninja the Genin Corps received every year, predominantly formed of overconfident fresh genin.

Although I'd say existence for the jounin-track is also pretty tragic – likely their hands would be covered in blood and friends dead before they finished puberty. For some of them, before puberty.

Really, it was all rather sobering.

Leaving moral debates until later – all I had to ensure was that I wasn't going to another death statistic - I tuned back into Iruka. "Team 5 – Shoda Katsu, Koike Satoko-" Blinking, I looked at who I thought was Shoda. Chin-length black hair framed a freckled face, adorned with some kind of half-mask. "-and Shirai Norio."

Oh god. Arrogance practically radiated from the stocky figure – Shirai Norio - in one of the front rows. Analysing his frame – on the thin side for a ninja, very little muscle mass – and general personality – overconfident and, for lack of better words, a hard-headed idiot – I quickly concluded he was dead weight.

Great.

Half-heartedly I waved off Sasuke's extremely slightly upturned lips.

It would be a pity our fleeting, daily interactions that comprised of silent messages, eyebrow twitches and the daily fight against fangirls would have to end, however he was a trouble magnet and I wanted to be alive. With the least amount of trauma.

"Your jounin sensei is Yamanaka Inoichi."

Wha- the fuck just happened?

I was pretty damn sure that was Ino's dad, a previous head of T+I, the Yamanaka clan head and a jounin. Why were we given such an important figure?

Well.

Clearly, I hadn't been nearly as stealthy as I had thought.

Funnily enough, I didn't feel particularly sad to leave the mask I had clung to for seven years. As soon as possible, I was changing into those shorts at home. Like, actual trousers, not leggings.

Getting my own share of laughs at Sasuke's prominent frown when one of the two queen fangirls ended up on his team along with Uzumaki, eventually the light-hearted affair that was the team placements ended.

Now, time to get some actual clothes and not these horribly impractical garments.

* * *

Poring over the files he'd been handed, he had a distinctly sinking feeling. It was quite clear they had talent, given the right environment and instruction; however, it was also clear that it was one of the 'leftover' teams.

That particularly charming nickname had risen in popularity to describe those students who had promise, yet weren't quite good enough to deserve too much thought. Common members were members of small ninja families, with the occasional orphan and rarer civilian.

This was simply another hastily thrown together team – in fact, you might have even thought they wanted them to fail. Their personalities clashed horribly and clearly smacked of lazy chuunin corps members.

Even with his careful manipulation, he still doubted they'd ever truly pull together, and he really wasn't invested enough in the whole 'jounin-sensei' job that he'd put up with three constantly bickering children for _months_.

That is, months as the bare minimum.

Not to mention that as soon as they reached chuunin they'd hit a roadblock – the medic-nin had called dibs on Shoda Katsu as soon as he gained enough proficiency and field experience in the use of poisons. His parents had both been skilled in the area – his path had already been determined twelve years ago.

Meanwhile, ANBU had scouted the kunoichi to join as soon as she'd completed a B-rank assassination mission. Although a little surprising, considering she was a mere civilian, the thickness of her file gave away a lot of sneaking around, not to mention the scrawled recommendation from Shikaku lazily added, as if it were a mere footnote and not a guarantee of getting into a jounin-track team.

It was sad, however it'd probably save them a lot of pain if he just failed them – though, he would have to see the connection between Koike and Shikaku. Not that it changed his judgement – they simply didn't click. That was all.

Pity – having genin in Ino's year would have been such a handy excuse to dote on her even more than he did now. He might as well savour her being a (slightly bratty) innocent little child while he could.

After all, there were always more storms on the horizon – and for the next one, he wouldn't be enough to shield her from all it.

* * *

"So! I am your jounin sensei, Inoichi Yamanaka." Watching his three genin settle on the log, he could see the team dynamics already. It was as he feared – both Koike and Shoda had written off Shirai as an irritant and probably cared more for a fruit fly than they did for the brash boy sitting next to him. Meanwhile, Shirai himself was attempting to extend some form of leadership over them – and failing horribly.

"Well, tell me a little bit about yourself."

"Heh." Almost wincing at the plain pretension in Shirai's, he turned to the genin in question. "Well, I'm Shirai Norio, and clearly the most able in this team." Next to him, Koike's lips twisted in some kind of ironic smile. It was quite clear she'd rather be anywhere except next to Shirai, however was covering it over with a biting smile. "Clearly more than those sitting next to me. In fact, I'd say Shoda-"

Seeing Shirai regress back to insulting teammates, he sighed and placed a hand on the genin's head. "Please stop attempting to disgrace your teammates." Giving him a sharp look (quickly, Shirai's mouth snapped shut), he continued. "Just your name, likes, dislikes, hobbies and dreams." Giving another pointed look at the now defensive Shirai, he stepped away.

"Okay." Sulking. He was actually sulking. When he received the files, he thought he was getting genin, however apparently not. "I'm Shirai Norio. I like awesome jutsu… and I guess visiting my brother." Voice trailing off into a whisper, it was quite clear what had happened to his brother. "I don't like people who try to drag me down! Or detention. Hah, my hobby is learning awesome jutsu-"

Eyebrow twitching, Shoda interrupted. "You idiot, you can't have learned any jutsu yet apart from the Academy three." Noting Satoko's slightly stiffened form, he guessed she had learnt a few jutsu from the genin library. That was rather impressive, although not particularly surprising, considering the few reports of her wandering around in areas she really shouldn't have been.

"Hah? What do you know?"

Feeling an oncoming headache, courtesy of Shirai, he clapped to gain their attention again. "Stop fighting for a moment, please. You are genin, not five year olds."

"'Kay. Whatever." Pouting a little, Shirai looked exactly as he might picture a small, civilian child. Obviously, the Academy wasn't doing its job properly. "Anyway, my dream is that I'll become just as awesome as my big brother was! Ha, I'm going to totally prove my parents wrong!"

"Interesting." Attempting to inconspicuously massage his forehead – no wonder Ino was always complaining about idiots – he pointed at Shoda. "Your turn now."

"I'm Shoda Katsu. I like training. I dislike…" Here he paused, forehead crinkling and a quick, surreptitious look at Shirai was noted. "…those who choose to be weak." Dislike of the weak and already deep-rooted irritation with Shirai. Thank the gods he was failing them as soon as possible. "My hobby is botany and growing my collection of plants, and my lifelong dream is to see my family become a clan of Konoha."

Wow. Serious kid much.

"Now, last but not least…" Waving his hand in Koike's direction, he observed her oddly blank face. That was one mean poker face – in a few years, provided she wasn't dead or in ANBU (after all, the two went hand in hand) - he might see how much of the 'terrifying' factor she had, just to see how she might do with T+I.

Ibiki was always looking for new kunoichi apprentices – after all, Anko was a brilliant example of why kunoichi should be feared by shinobi across all the nations.

Then again, the world might not survive another Anko.

"Koike Satoko. I like the colour of the sky today." Looking up, he saw an utterly unassuming blue sky. Evading the question – she might have nothing on Hatake, however she was doing a pretty good job of building a slippery persona. "I don't like the pattern on this log. My hobby is avoiding invasive questions. My dream is to not have to answer personal questions ever again."

Giving an attempt at a weak smile – it was incredibly hard smiling at that creepily blank face – he attempted to scrounge a little more out of the kunoichi. "Unfortunately I don't think that dream will ever come true, as I do need a few more details than that."

Giving a long-suffering sigh that would put a Nara to shame. "I know you're just being nosy. Fine, fine," leaning back, she was the epitome of 'lazy'. "I like researching and meditating, and I dislike idiots. My hobby is annoying people and my dream is to live to the age of 25."

"Twenty-five in particular?" Receiving only awkward silence in response, he specified. "Is there any reason why that age is auspicious?"

"Yes." Waiting for an explanation, he received none.

"Well…" Breaking the silence, the tension was almost palpable. Apparently, Koike was not the best of conversationalists - not that he'd expected her to be. "My name is Yamanaka Inoichi. I like my little girl Ino and I dislike traitors. My hobby is taking care of my flower shop, and my dream is to see your generation become fantastic ninja." He could see the barely disguised amusement from Koike – it was obvious she didn't believe Shirai could become even a passable ninja. Well, at she was realistic. "However, to become Team 5, I'm afraid you'll have to pass another test."

"WHAT?" Looking furious, Shirai attempted to glare at him. It was almost funny, a genin trying to stare down an experienced T+I jounin. "I thought we already passed!"

Between gritted teeth, Shoda forced out a barely civil "Shut up." He seemed to be entertaining thoughts of purposefully failing so he didn't end up in a team with an idiot.

Clapping his hands again, all attention was easily drawn back to him. Well, he still suspected he only held half of Koike's attention, considering how her gaze wandered slightly before fixing on him.

He wanted whoever put these three in a team fired.

"Yes, so, you will have another test today." Surreptitiously ignoring Shirai's scandalised look, he ploughed forwards with his pre-prepared speech. "I've hidden bottles in training grounds 5, 6 and 7. There are two bottles in each ground, and they each hold the puzzle."

Pausing for a moment to check he still had their attention – Koike's eyes seemed a little more lucid right now, which he supposed was a good sign – he continued. "Once you've got the bottles, regroup at 'Sukiya' – the Akimichi restaurant. Do we know where that is?" Three nods. "That's good. Okay, Koike, you're in this field. Shoda, you're in the sixth field. Shirai, you're in seventh. You have until 5 pm."

Performing a quick shunshin to arrive out of sight or earshot, he quickly made two kage bunshin. He'd be able to keep them up for perhaps a few hours – if it took them longer than that to find the bottles then they were utterly incompetent.

Finding a suitable observation spot, he waited and watched.

* * *

How the hell did I end up with that guy on my team? God, he was almost as bad as Uzumaki. In fact, the only benefit he had over Uzumaki was the fact he wasn't wearing blaring orange.

Well, I guess also not being a major character who is nearly killed many times over can also be considered a bonus.

Now, if I were a jounin and trying to test a bunch of pathetic genin, where would I put them? It should also be where there's relative cover, since no doubt someone's following me now. So…

Slowly turning on the spot, I easily identified the first bottle, near where we started – clearly with the expectation that whoever was in this field would run around like a headless chicken for a while rather than conduct a methodical search.

Sealing it inside a home-made storage scroll, I stood again and wandered for a short while, taking a note of all potential hiding spots until I finally chanced upon it, cork stopper blending in with the bark. Only half an hour? That was even easier than I expected it to be.

Wandering out of the training grounds, I casually walked into sixth where a slightly peeved Shoda raced around.

After all, it was supposed to be about teamwork.

I think.

"Need help?" Raising my hand in greeting, I watched him as he froze, before relaxing at my lazy posture.

"Sure. I already have one."

Eyes flicking around the grounds – thankfully training grounds 5 to 10 were designed for two versus two spars and as such were quite small – I easily stepped over a few roots to investigate a slight clearing. Not that the trees were already sparse, however something had drawn my attention. Poking around for fifteen minutes eventually drew results as I found Shoda's last bottle.

"Catch." Lobbing the bottle at his surprised face, ingrained ninja reflexes easily caught the projectile.

"Thanks." Awkward silence prevailed for a few seconds. "What was that about a puzzle?"

"I'm going to the restaurant first." Shrugging lightly, I walked out. That was all I really wanted to do – that damned Shirai could go find his own bottles. A smirk passed my lips as I heard Shoda follow. Sticking with Shoda, the very definition of a background characters (unassuming features, plain black hair, standard clothes and an admittedly bland personality) would certainly allow for a few more years unscathed.

* * *

Setting down at table, I pulled out the two bottles from the scroll, absentmindedly waving away a little of the smoke. After a whole class of children practising bunshin, this little wisp barely registered. Popping open the cork, I unrolled the scraps of paper inside and frowned. Both messages were two sets of numbers.

A puzzle.

Though, with one, the numbers seemed to be limited in scale, while the other varied far more – potentially accounting for different characters? If I applied the Tokuda numbering system, then they appeared to make words.

Well, as soon as Shirai turned up, I'd be able to test my theory.

…

It had been almost two hours. Sipping on my third cup of tea and indulging in its comforting warmth, I allowed it to cloud my mind, because no doubt if I dwelled on my team for too long, something would get broken. Probably a spine, once that worthless dead weight finally turned up.

Well, at least my prediction of being put into a team that was almost guaranteed to fail was correct, even if Inoichi was a not-entirely-pleasant surprise.

Gently placing my cup on the table, tea dregs all that remained of the calming beverage, I rested my head on my arms. Wait, could that be…?

"Huh? What are you guys doing here?" Not orange, sauntering down the street as if he owned it, and far too loud for polite company - yep, definitely Shirai. "Well, I've found the bottles. Obviously he must have given me the hardest training ground." It was clear that, for reasons beyond me, he'd been walking through bushes and all sorts.

In fact, if my memory didn't fail me, training ground 7 was one of the smallest. Honestly. Moreover, he so carelessly left the notes in his pocket…

Carefully smothering my satisfied grin, I walked over to greet him. "You have a twig in your hair." Leaning over to pluck it out, I subtly pickpocketed the notes. "We've been here for a little bit – you know they have this really nice dango-"

"Dango?" Immediately forgetting about the task, he dashed inside without even checking if he still had the notes. Idiot.

Sitting back down, I laid out the notes. Yep, like I had thought. Beckoning Shoda, sitting at the other side of the table, I quickly showed him the four notes.

"Robbed the other two off of Shirai." At his nod, I began pointing at the corresponding numbers and letters to explain the code. "It's using the Tokuda numbering system for characters along the bottom row, and - see, arrange them with the top set of numbers descending, and you've got two-thirds of the message."

Pulling out his own two notes, painstakingly hidden within one of the many pockets on the inside of his hoodie, I easily added them into the message, easily deciphering the message with all the pieces present.

'Offer me a time in which I do what I like best'

"What?" Frowning, he inspected the words more carefully. "This is a riddle, isn't it?"

Tapping my bottom lip, I thought about it. What do I like best? Well, many things, however we had no idea what Inoichi liked. Therefore, there must be another way. It was either something flower related – very unlikely, considering that's he's likely read my disastrous kunoichi lesson results – or a generic term – more likely.

So all I have to do is think from a different angle. When do I do my hobbies? When I have free time. Why do I do my hobbies? To waste time, mostly.

Wasting time…

Passing time.

"It's pastime - a pastime."

Blinking, Shoda looked at the riddle again. "So it is."

"What's what?" Munching on his dango, Shirai finally returned from his food spree. "Hey, aren't those my clues?" Eyes widening, he pointed an accusatory finger at me. "You stole them from me!"

Easily waving him off, I gave him a deadpan look. "Yep." Shutting him down before he could start yelling again, I quickly pointed at the riddle. "We have the answer to the puzzle. It's a pastime."

Before he could reply to that, a burst of smoke alerted us to another presence – Inoichi. As the smoke dissipated (no one looking twice – this was a restaurant that catered to mainly shinobi) sensei stood there, something between a smile and a pained look on his face. "Correct, that is the answer." Looking at the three of us – the pained look becoming steadily more apparent – he continued. "I suppose you have passed my test."

"HA!" Smirking and looking victorious – as if the idiot did anything – Shirai finished his dango off with a flourish. "All those people who said I couldn't become a proper shinobi are gonna be eating their words!" Then he paused, apparently finally using his brain. "Wait, you were there the whole time?"

"Yes, I was. None of you, except for perhaps Satoko, noticed or even entertained the fact there might be someone watching you." Three curious gazes fixed on me, and I shrugged in response. It was pretty obvious that he'd be tailing us, and all I had to do was see the guy that stayed for extended periods of time, and who walked out only to be replaced 5 minutes later.

"How were we supposed to know that?" Folding his arms, Shirai was a picture-perfect petulant 5 year old. "Besides, I still passed; therefore I must be an awesome ninja!"

Well…" With only a blank face to read from, I assumed he was going to share a few unkind facts with Dead Weight. Most likely with the rest of us too, however the idiot really needed to get his head back into reality from whatever fantasy he was living in. "Shirai-kun, unfortunately you did very little to help. Firstly you took the longest to find the bottles, secondly you didn't notice your notes were robbed-" his eyes darted over to me for a moment, and I raised my eyebrows unapologetically "-and you played no part in working out the riddle. Essentially, you are the weakest member of this team, and a long way from being a true shinobi."

Next, he turned to me. "You did exceedingly well, Koike-san, however you missed a basic point of this exercise."

"Teamwork." Longingly, I looked at the dango bar. It did smell fantastic, truly, however fuuinjutsu supplies were _expensive_ – I didn't have the money to waste splurging on sweet treats.

"Pay attention!" My attention snapped back to Inoichi. "Yes, it was teamwork. However, you showed very little of it. You only offered help collecting the bottles to one of your teammates-" carefully, I averted my eyes from Shirai's accusing glare "-and you should have had more faith in your teammate, Shirai-kun, and solved the puzzle with all members of the team." 'Regardless of how useless they are' was easily tagged onto the end. "Nevertheless, you seem to be skilled in problem solving."

As he turned to Shoda, it was clear whom his favourite was. "Shoda performed the best – accepting help from teammates and being generally helpful and a valuable member of the team. However all of you are still far from being a functional team, which is what I will train you to be."

Wordlessly I stood and went to the dango bar. I'd had enough 'teamwork' talks – it was clear Shirai would run off and get himself killed, and I wasn't going to go with him.

That idiot. My life was worth more than that tenuous link.

Maybe I was imagining it, however the faintest resistance to the idea of leaving people simply die was stirring in my stomach – yet that didn't change the fact that I wasn't strong. I didn't have a bloodline, a clan, a chakra beast in my stomach. I didn't have any skill apart from playing non-existent board games.

I shouldn't exist.

There was no way I could save anyone. They were going to die, they were going to disappear, and they were going to slip through my fingers all over again.

(I was the only person fighting for me, for my survival – and I couldn't afford to carry anyone else.)

* * *

 **A/N** Tries to write a normal chapter - ends up a depressing chapter.

whyyy

 **anyway, please**

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 **button**

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 **leave**

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 **review!**

 **thank you**

\- rosinban


	6. Why Satoko Shouldn't Play Shogi

**a/n** where does time go when you most need it

grrrrr

I ended up typing this in between a multitude of assignments and presentations

and as such there is not much plot and my writing style is inconsistent (usually I type up these chapters in 1-3 super long sittings, but this was like 10+ really short sittings)

but anyway you guys are freaking amazing, like 300 followers. I was expecting max 50 then got completely blown away.

Due to this, the person who has the 100th review gets a free Naruto oneshot - can be related to this fic, might not be related, I don't really mind (as long as it's not smut aha). Just because you guys are awesome. I'm not quite certain myself why I'm volunteering myself to do more work on top of my already packed schedule but...eh.

(note: slightly edited the first two chapters. nothing major or related to the plot - mostly just characterisation and inaccuracies I've had pointed out to me by a few irl friends. just thought I should mention it.)

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Beta: the ever fantastic **Fayth85** who basically makes sure my mind doesn't take the plot and roll off a cliff with it. Because I'm positive that would be the sort of thing my brain would do.

 **(Fayth85 here, She really doesn't give herself enough credit. I'm just more a plotter, nothing more. I think all of you would agree her writing style is addicting, so even I got hooked.)**

 **.**

Posting this one day early, because I thought you guys would prefer it be posted on a Sunday rather than a Monday.

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 **[edit 1/3/2016: at the advice of Crimsonsnoweye]**

[edit 28/05/2017: more grammar fixes ect. you know the drill]

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* * *

Finishing my morning exercises, I easily leapt onto the roofs and made my way to Training Ground 7.

Of course, in theory each genin team should have the grounds that coincide with their number, however with some teams requesting certain grounds, some passing and others not, along with a handful of grounds getting booked out by the chuunin and jounin, it didn't work out quite like that.

Landing lightly in the grounds, I paused for a moment before wandering over to where my team had already assembled – after all, I was sure I was early.

Oh yeah – I had spent an extra hour watching Team 7, hadn't I? Hah, it'd been hilarious watching them squabble amongst themselves. I almost felt sorry for their sensei – Hatake Kakashi, wasn't it?

That is, _almost_ felt sorry.

Looking vaguely put off, Inoichi waved me towards one of three tree stumps, one of which was occupied with a sleeping Shirai and the other a pissed-looking Shoda. Whoops. "You were supposed to be here an hour ago."

At my simple shrug, Inoichi apparently regulated his breathing for a moment before waving me towards the unoccupied tree stump. "Please don't get into a habit of being late. You might turn into another Hatake Kakashi."

Settling down on a tree stump, I attempted to rearrange my features into some semblance of guilt. It probably didn't work.

Giving me something of an amused look - yep, definitely didn't work - Inoichi addressed the three of us. "Now, we're going to talk about our own strengths and weaknesses. Be honest – it's important for your teammates to know these things so they can support you as efficiently as possible." Giving a sharp look at Shirai, he then pointed at the loudest of us three. "Shirai-kun, you first."

"Well…" As his previously self-confident grin melted, I guessed he finally worked out that he had no strengths. Of course, the idiot wouldn't like to accept that, and so would lie his little head off to cover that quite glaring weakness. "I think I-"

At that point, Inoichi cut him off, apparently predicting the lies that Shirai would be spewing. "Be honest."

"I don't have any strengths, okay?" Good boy. Have a gold star. "And everything for me is a weakness."

Smiling, Inoichi gave him a small pat. "Don't be sorry. It takes great strength of will to admit to your weaknesses." Seriously – Shirai was that easily motivated? Honestly. Those mood swings were worse than Takara's. "You'll find your speciality one day, as long as you keep working at it. Now, Shoda?"

Looking pensive for several moments, he finally answered. "My strengths are my poisons, throwing weapons and chakra control. My weaknesses are ninjutsu and taijutsu."

Nodding in assent, Inoichi gave another pep talk. "That's good. You'll do well as a long range shinobi." Pausing for a moment, watching Shoda's neutral features for a moment, he continued. "Have you considered becoming a medic-nin?"

Stiffly, Shoda shook his head. "No. I must be a fighter and prove my strength." Tightening the grip on his tree stump, he reminded me of someone. Hmm… an avenger? Ah, yes. Sasuke.

Fan-fucking-tastic.

Well, at least he isn't vowing to kill anyone.

Besides, he was still very much a background character – what with that perfect balance of ambition and reluctance, easily motivated and to be honest… he looked exactly like a minor character. Chin-length black hair, some semi-transparent material across the bottom half of his face and standard shinobi uniform – it was like someone had specifically designed him to be just interesting enough to ensure all the people milling around weren't clones, however bland enough to not draw a smidgen of attention.

Besides, it might be better if he wasn't a med-nin. Hospitals were most likely to be targeted in any eventual destruction or invasion of Konoha, as well as the medics being trouble magnets.

Just look – all the teams that had the balance of the universe or some other immense responsibility on their shoulders all had medics in their teams. The Sannin, Kakashi's Team 7, Naruto's Team 7. Go figure.

"Hmm. If you ever change your mind-" carefully ignoring Shoda's dismissive look, he continued "-then I'm sure the hospital will eagerly take you in. There are few poisons masters in Konoha. And now…" he turned calculating eyes onto me "what about you, Satoko-chan?"

So it was 'chan' now? Repressing a shiver of disgust, I considered my words.

Obviously, I couldn't lie – I wasn't so arrogant that I thought I could outwit a T+I veteran at his own game. Inoichi would be on it in a heartbeat. However, I didn't want to seem too strong either – the chuunin exams were a mess that was to be avoided at all costs, since Orochimaru's presence provides a nice degree of death into the mixture. Not to mention Gaara. Just… no. So, I'll tell the truth, however just twist my words a little bit.

"Well, I think I'm good at tactics. I've also practiced with ninja wire, though I keep giving myself accidental cuts." Yes, through practising complex manoeuvring, although he didn't need to know that. Looking falsely pensive, I watched Inoichi's inexpressive face. Damn - he was good. "My Academy records say taijutsu is one of my weaker subjects. Also, I have above average reserves of chakra, so my control isn't so good. It also means my genjutsu are generally subpar."

It may have helped that I expanded my reserves by constantly emptying them learning tree walking in my 3rd and 4th years. Not that I was learning advanced techniques without supervision, of course. In fact, I was simple recreating scenes from one of the most immersing comic books I've ever read.

I'd considered water walking; however, repeatedly dumping myself in a lake was far less inconspicuous than throwing myself off my apartment's walls.

Instead, after tree (or, well, wall) walking, I drained my reserves through hours of leaf floating – which was just as interesting as it sounded (that is, about as engrossing as watching paint dry), and twice as infuriating. At the start – and even through the intermediate stages - a single gust of wind coming in through the window would completely ruin the whole _damned_ exercise. Many leaves died… in the name of science and personal achievement, of course.

Precisely. That was what all those piles of burned leaves were.

Yes, leaves burned quite nicely when you overloaded them with chakra.

Giving me an encouraging look, he patted me. It took my utmost will not to shrink away from the belittling hand. "Very good. Well, I suggest for you that you think about becoming a ninjutsu and stealth specialist." Yes, I saw that careful avoidance of the word 'assassination'. Exactly why else would you need someone good at ninjutsu and stealth? "I assume you already know your affinity-" what? I was quite certain fresh civilian genin weren't expected to know that "-so we can work on that."

"Sorry, Inoichi-sensei, however I didn't know we were expected to know our affinities."

"Oh," turning pupil-less blue eyes towards me, "but I think you do know, regardless. Mind telling me what it is?"

Tiredly I ran a hand down my face. It was too early for this shit. "Lightning." That bastard Inoichi nodded before turning to my sensible teammate.

"Shoda, I suggest genjutsu – you could use it as a distraction from your poison or a weapon on its own." Nice manipulation – wording it like that made it seem like it would give a boost to his family's speciality. "Shirai, you'll be working on getting your Academy basics up to scratch before seeing where your speciality lies." The aforementioned idiot scowled – he probably thought himself above doing the basic exercises.

Yep. That decided it. When he inevitably runs headfirst into some fight he clearly can't win, I am certainly not saving his sorry ass.

Why did they let that idiot pass the genin exam again, let alone get into a jounin-track team? Probably some junk about civilians having equal opportunities or something. In other words, politics.

"But first we'll be doing exercise. Although we'll be mainly an information gathering team, we still have to be fairly strong, although much more of our training will be focused on stealth rather than outright strength." Smirking, he added an extra point. "Also we'll be meeting Team 10 every Monday for sparring, starting next week."

I buried my face in my hands. Why couldn't anything go my way? You could've sworn the universe interpreted my wish for 'no canon characters' to mean 'meet as many canon characters as possible', and so far only Shino, Shikamaru and Hinata have been even vaguely tolerable, mostly because they didn't take every opportunity to open their mouths and spout rubbish.

Well, I suppose Sasuke was also potentially tolerable, however he was just a touch too angsty, not to mention the whole missing-nin thing.

Yeah, that might be a problem in the future.

"So, first thing! Three laps around the field!"

* * *

"Hello, Satoko-chan." Without turning around, Inoichi addressed me. Mentally cursing, I dropped out of the tree. Five metres? That wasn't nearly close enough.

"What did I mess up on this time?" It'd now become a morning ritual – I'd turn up half an hour late and try to sneak up on my sensei. Of course, I hadn't succeeded yet, however it was much better than my original 10 metres at the start of last week.

"Your shoes squeaked on a branch."

Dammit! Scuffing the ground angrily, I wondered how much it'd cost to get one of the higher quality close-toed boots. Sandals seemed to be rather counterproductive in trying to protect my feet, and I had grown quite fond of my toes being attached to my body.

"Got it. What are we doing today?" I'd finally mastered water walking yesterday, after much swearing, drenched garments and Shoda silently laughing at me from where he was learning genjutsu from Inoichi. Of course, Shoda was doing some Very Serious Business and wasn't actually laughing; however, it'd be difficult to mistake his shaking shoulders for anything else.

Honestly. Shouldn't I be good at chakra control? I mean, I was (somewhat) a sensor for my entire range of three and a half metres (it would get to my target of 10 metres eventually) however whenever I actually tried poking around with it? It was like trying to herd cats – it fought me to go running off to god-knows-where every time I so much as blinked.

"We're sparring with Team 10." Oh yeah. That. Fuck. "We're going to go over to Training Ground 10 at noon."

Sighing, then yawning, I plopped down in the shade of one of the many trees. "Wake me up at noon."

Nothing like sleeping in to calm down my frayed nerves.

* * *

At half an hour past noon, Shikamaru was abruptly roused from his nap. "What?" Grousing, he reluctantly opened his eyes.

Then he sat up.

There – that thrice damned enigma that cost him so much nap time in the Academy… who was currently thrown like a sack of potatoes over one of her presumable teammate's shoulders.

Through that note that he bugged his tou-san into leaving, she just about managed to wrangle herself a place in Inoichi-san's team. Then, of course, Inoichi cashed in some favour that Asuma owed him so he could spend more time with his precious 'Ino-chan'.

Well there was the whole 'clan techniques' thing as well, however it wasn't exactly a secret that Inoichi loved to dote on his daughter.

It all worked out, because with two jounin hanging over her shoulder, she couldn't refuse his shogi games any more. Revenge was sweet. Especially after having been refused a game over 20 times and somehow inexplicably worming out of any verbal traps he tried to corner her into.

"Hey, Asuma-sensei?" Rubbing some sleep out of his eyes, he unceremoniously pointed at Satoko. "Can I play shogi with her?"

Blinking, Asuma briefly checked for genjutsu before deciding that yes, Shikamaru took the initiative for once (even if it was for shogi) and yes, he seemed to be interested in a girl. Blaming it on hormones – Shikamaru was approaching _that age_ , after all – he casually nodded. "Okay, Slacker, a shogi game with the girl-" making sure to wiggle his eyebrows at this point "-is on the cards."

Flushing slightly at the insinuation, he quickly pulled out a shogi board similar to the one most Nara liked to carry around with them. Well, apart from that one odd family who preferred playing Go.

Watching Satoko's team (who'd unceremoniously dumped her onto the ground at some point), he ended up poorly smothering snorts at their failing attempts to wake her up. Firstly was poking, then yelling, rolling and at some point it nearly devolved into a kick to the ribs until Asuma stepped in.

"Let me." Forming a quick seal, a small spout of water landed on the sleeping girl. Abruptly she jerked upright, golden eyes blinking almost owlishly (analysing, he recognised), before she relaxed back into the grass.

"Yo." Yawning, she idly formed the ram seal and blasted the water off her skin, although her clothes still looked rather damp. Of course, since the water was simply blasted, this also showered her two teammates and Ino, much to their displeasure. "What're we doing?"

"Slacker wants to play shogi with you." Even as she froze up, he could see brain cogs whirring. That'd been what always fascinated him – that she used her brain more than her actions. Thinking was something so many ninja forewent, especially for Academy students and fresh genin, however she seemed to specialise in it – extremely odd for one not of the Nara clan.

Well. Finally, he'd get that shogi game.

Oh, look at that, she came to a decision. Loping over with easy strides – with a certain amount of irritation, he noticed she was almost certainly taller than he was – she easily plopped down in front of the board. "Hello, Stalker-kun." Looking at the board, a slightly glazed look went over her face. It could be ignorance although it seemed more like…nostalgia? No, that can't be right. "So - how do you play shogi?"

Ignorance it was. How troublesome.

Once he'd finally gone through a hasty retelling of the rules, he finally got to move a piece. Taking a few moments, the first thing she did was… make an illegal move.

Taking a deep inhale, he pinched the bridge of his nose. "You can't do that." Briefly, he wondered why he even tried.

"Really?" For someone who just made a mistake, she didn't seem particularly bothered. More just… blank. Unenthused. "Whoops." Moving it back, she moved another piece – thankfully a legal move this time.

That was how the game roughly continued for about half an hour – she'd make a mistake, correct it, and then move her pieces in what seemed like random moves. Whatever plan she had certainly wasn't working, since barely any of his pieces were gone while several high-ranking pieces were conspicuously absent from her side. Frustrated, he mindlessly moved a pawn to be promoted – he expected the game to be over within the next ten minutes.

What he didn't expect was a cold smile to stretch across Satoko's face.

Scanning the board more carefully – he admitted to daydreaming a little – his eyes suddenly widened as he saw both his silver generals pinned, with no less than three important pieces for his offense in danger of being taken next turn.

But – she obviously hadn't played before! How, how did she… "Wha-" Beginning his question, he was harshly cut off.

"Underestimation." Giving him a cold look, a lump formed in his throat. It was reminiscent to when Kaa-san was about to yell at someone, and he subconsciously prepared for a verbal lashing. However, instead of outright shouting, it was a cold tone, filled with a mix of ice and _triumph_. "You underestimated me, and now you're going to lose."

It was over in the next ten minutes, the time lengthened by his desperate attempts to salvage some sort of guerrilla squad, however she relentlessly pursued with a single-minded ferocity, whittling down his forces one by one.

"Good game." Flicking his king piece, as if mocking him, she dusted herself off and yelled at Inoichi (who was currently fussing over Ino, seemingly instructing her on something doubtlessly clan-related) "INOICHI-SENSEI! When are we leaving?"

Inoichi tensed before spinning around, as if suddenly realising one of his students had been missing, and after discussing something with Asuma, he gestured for them to come over. Sighing, he packed up the shogi board. Besides, he could just ask for a rematch next week.

Nevertheless - she beat him at his own game, and thus confirmed all the little conspiracy theories he had in his mind.

What a troublesome woman.

…Tou-san was going to have a field day with this. It really wasn't helping his 'I'm not interested in that way' argument.

* * *

Waking up absolutely soaked was so not fun.

Grudgingly opening my eyes from the warm comfort of sleep, I saw a smirking… Asuma, probably. Ino also stood to one side – hair immaculate, nails manicured and clothes designed for looks rather than practicality.

Ah – the idiotic things people did during puberty.

If she complains later about how she wasted her teenage years pining after possibly one of the largest douchebags in the Elemental Countries, I'd have a field day laughing at her. That, of course, being based off the assumption that both Ino and I survived long enough for her to restart her brain from whatever idiot mode it was drifting in now.

My chances were not looking so good.

Shoda and Shirai stood off to the side – the former looking rather unamused, as per usual, and the latter looking like an arrogant moron, also the usual.

"Yo." Quickly forming the ram seal, I blasted the water off me with a wave of chakra. Of course, my clothes were still a little wet – however, it was hilarious watching Ino's face morph into horror as she was soaked in water. Nearby, Inoichi choked down laughs, although they died off quickly as Ino's scandalised look reached him. "What're we doing?"

"Slacker wants to play shogi with you." Talking around a freshly lit cigarette, his words were slightly slurred around it, however the meaning still got through.

I froze.

There had been a reason I always avoided Shikamaru, despite him being one of my more tolerable classmates – the reason being that he was highly intelligent. Scarily so. In fact, if anyone were to reveal my whole 'reincarnation' thing, I would say he had the greatest chance of unveiling it.

Yet this was backing me into a corner, and I knew _he_ knew that.

Should I try getting out of it? No, I have no reasonable explanation, and it'd merely draw unwanted attention.

Should I try losing? No – not only would that be agonisingly boring, however if Inoichi ever took it upon himself to watch I wouldn't be able to throw the game without him noticing and Shikamaru would notice the difference in skill.

Not to mention Shikamaru was supposed to be a genius, after all, and I fear for my intelligence after so much exposure to… well…

A quick glance at Shirai gave me all the answers I needed.

Veiling my worried with a veneer of calm, I wandered over to where Shikamaru lounged underneath the boughs of a Hashirama tree (I'd long given up trying to identify it with any of the regular categories) and gave a polite greeting. "Hello, Stalker-kun." Briefly, I fought a smirk at the frown that marred his expressions at my statement.

Though, in all seriousness, it was genuinely creepy how he (a twelve year old, of all things) went around, trying to manipulate me.

Looking at the shogi board laid out on the ground, I attempted to draw up any recollections I had of, at the very least, how to play it. At some point, I definitely read a book on shogi tactics. Although, was that piece the lance, or that one? Maybe if it had been written in English...

Why the fuck am I thinking about my old world anyway? It isn't as if I can _go back_.

"So how do you play shogi?" Giving my best approximation of a clueless look, it apparently worked, judging by the muttering Shikamaru was doing. Although, despite his fervour to play shogi, his explanation was wholly unhelpful – most of his instructions had to be heavily supplemented with my misty memories.

Taking a moment to look at him as he fumbled his way through a description of 'drops', I dragged to the forefront of my mind some the psychology stuff I looked at in the library, and expertly masked a frown at what I saw. Obviously, he didn't think I could ever beat him – soft arrogance bled through his body language, and for reasons beyond me, he put himself on some idiotic pedestal or some shit.

Hah. Like I was going take that lying down.

Moving a pawn in what I knew as an illegal move, I smothered something of a sadistic laugh as Shikamaru's face pulled into an ever-deepening frown.

Although, as the game progressed, eventually the novelty wore off being a dunce and I subtly pulled a few pieces into one of my more favoured chess strategies, adjusted (heavily) for shogi and crossed my fingers that they'd work. If he pulled any of those strange shogi-only rules out of his ass, the board was going to get smashed.

At the perfect opportunity – a careless movement of a pawn – I easily pinned the pieces he was most heavily relying on, destroying any attempts to defend against the pieces I'd so carefully positioned ready to attack.

Now watching as shocked emotions rushed across his face, I didn't bother covering my sadistic smile. Knocking this guy off his perch was so much fun – if I'd known how amusing all this posturing would turn out to be, I'd have done it ages ago.

Although, I had to admit – he was pretty damn good.

For a kid.

No matter how much of a prodigy he was, the fact remained that he was about 24 years too young to even _think_ about beating me.

"Wha-" Pfft. He thought he measured up to me? That was cute.

Huh, maybe I can scare him a little. Maybe he wouldn't perform so appallingly next time – sure, there was potential, however I was certain he was cloud watching at some point.

"Underestimation." Interrupting whatever questions he was about to pose and giving him a cold look, I continued thoroughly wrecking that little pedestal he'd set himself upon. "You underestimated me, and now you're going to lose."

It was all over after that. Certainly, he'd put up a token effort to salvage the game, and I applauded him for that, although a resignation would've made the whole process far simpler.

Nevertheless, his moves had a certain sense of predictability to them that I had caught on to after a few turns – always favouring retreat and defence, for one - and I neatly finished up with a pin on his King piece. Flicking his king piece off the board, into his lap – his shocked face was as beautiful as the Mona Lisa to my eyes - I gave the custom "Good game." Whether I meant it or not was beside the point.

We were ninja, after all.

Then I realised why I was there anyway. "INOICHI-SENSEI!" The aforementioned sensei, currently in discussion with Asuma, looked over. "When are we leaving?" Running over, I listened to his response.

"So eager to leave, Satoko-chan?" Raising an eyebrow, he pointed at a sulky looking Ino, massaging what appeared to be quite a nasty bruise on her shin. Boo hoo. "What about Ino-chan? Maybe you'd like to have some of that, ah," apparently looking for the right words, although I knew the entire conversation was scripted, he paused for a moment before continuing, "kunoichi gossip?"

"No." Blandly blinking at him, I could see he wasn't all that surprised. "Please stop scripting our conversations; it makes it rather uncomfortable to converse with you." Pausing for a moment, he looked at me curiously.

"My, I'm hurt by your accusations, Satoko-chan." As he faked a hurt look, I simply stared until it grew palpably uncomfortable.

"Is this how all your conversations go, Inoichi-san?" Now Asuma interjected, looking between the two of us curiously. "It's quite… unique."

Giving something close to a pained smile – Asuma's guess was far too close to the actual truth of awkward silences and shifty eye contact – he simply shrugged, easily diverting the conversation. "So who won your shogi game?"

"Shikamaru-san did." At that point, Inoichi gave me a calculating look, and I was about say a few pointed statements that suggested a draw or loss on my side. Of course, then Shikamaru had to walk over and ruin everything.

"Satoko-san did." Theatrically slumping, I carefully watched Shikamaru. Because, quite frankly, his expression was terrifying – it was motivated. That particular expression appeared whenever he was going to try to spring another of those damned verbal traps that I had a jolly time worming out of. "Asuma-sensei, if I can play shogi with Satoko-chan-" dammit, don't call me 'chan'! "-then I'll also partake in a spar an additional once per week."

Huffing, I put in my own opinion, although I knew it'd be disregarded. "I don't agree with this plan." Of course, then Asuma and Inoichi exchanged another of those 'significant looks' that were occurring far too often for my liking, and so it was disregarded.

"Four times per week. You're way too lazy." Countered Asuma, sighing as Shikamaru muttered something sounding suspiciously like 'troublesome' underneath his breath.

"No, that's way too much for a shogi game. Twice."

"Five times." Snorting, I shook my head at Shikamaru. Now he'd dug himself into a hole – Asuma knew how much he wanted that shogi game and the deals would become progressively worse. Apparently, Shikamaru knew this too, by how his eyes narrowed and frown became fixed firmly in place.

"Dammit, fine." Rolling his shoulders, he dragged himself into the shade of a tree, muttering something about 'troublesome sensei'.

Putting up my hand, I put in my point. Just for reference in the future, when something blows up in someone else's face. "Like I said, I didn't agree to this." Apparently they both caught on to what I was doing (or perhaps they were just lazy – wouldn't put it too far past Asuma) as they simply accepted the comment.

"We get it." Waving a careless hand at me, with the other Asuma lit another cigarette. "Anyway, when're your brats taking their first missions?"

"Well I was thinking we might have our first mission tomorrow-"

Interrupting him quickly – D-ranks were to be avoided for as long as humanly possible – I interjected. "Unfortunately Inoichi-sensei, I don't believe we're ready yet. We need more time to work on…" quick, think of one of those vague values Konoha likes! "…teamwork."

Snorting, Asuma waved a careless hand at me. "Eyebags knows all about D-rank missions, I guess?" Spluttering at my new nickname – excuse me, my eye bags were not that bad! Well, perhaps they were, but it wasn't my fault. It's whoever dumped me in an entirely new world.

Frankly, I believed that I was owed a lot more than a few sleepless nights; however, I would take that as a deposit.

Of course, then Shirai bounded over.

"Missions?" Apparently finished with whatever sparring he was doing with Chouji (and looking suitably beaten up) Shirai turned up looking exactly like an overeager dog. Wonder if I threw a stick he'd follow it - preferably into the Forest of Death. "Hell _yeah_ , I want to do missions! Clearly I'm more than qualified, though I'm not sure about this slacker." As he gestured at me, I gave a deadpan look back.

"See? This is precisely why we need more time to work on... teamwork."

"Tch. I bet I could do the mission all by myself!"

Giving up, I simply shook my head. "So, when are we going, Inoichi-sensei?" Weariness was in my voice. "Because if you don't state a specific time, I will assume that is permission to leave after two minutes."

"What about a taijutsu spar with Chouji first?" Pointing at Chouji, who was looking barely strained after fighting with Shirai (not surprising), I shrugged and acquiesced. It'd be much simpler to get this over with.

"Sure. I'll warm up first." After taking the time to do a lap around the training field, I settled in the Konoha Standard taijutsu form.

"And…go!" Watching from the side, Asuma announced the beginning of the match and taking preliminary action… ran as fast as I could to the side. Which was the right move, since Chouji barrelled through the area where my poor stomach would have been had I not done so. Ouch.

Avoiding his first, more powerful punch, I then risked getting in closer, swerving around punches with some difficulty. Some hits slightly connected where I couldn't move fast enough, and they stung dully, knocking me back slightly. Ignoring the various aches that suddenly sprang up - there! Where his punch was slightly off to the left, I lunged forwards, pulling and subsequently tripped him up before elbowing his exposed back.

Apparently winded, however quickly recovering, I attempted to put him in a hold – I was a little unwilling to knock him out with his jounin-sensei and the rest of his team right there, after all.

Which failed. Dramatically.

Simply, I was nowhere near as muscly or meaty as the Akimichi, and as soon as I realised it was futile – couldn't pin someone if you couldn't even keep one of their arms against the ground, after all, I simply retreated. "I forfeit!"

Nodding, Asuma called off the spar.

"Sensible. You realised the only way to win would be to knock Chouji-kun out, which you didn't want to do, so you forfeited." Lighting his cigarette, he nodded in the vague direction of Ino, resting underneath a tree. "Perhaps you should impart your knowledge to Ino-chan there. She doesn't really have the same thinking process." By which he meant that she had no idea when to quit, retreat and think up a new plan.

Sensei winced – he probably felt partially responsible for her behaviour. Which he should, considering he was her dad.

"Maybe another time." Yawning, I turned to Inoichi. "Hey, do I get to leave now?"

Nodding absently, I took that as a 'yes' and began making my way back to my apartment.

Yet, you know, I'd been feeling like I was missing something for my entire week of being genin. Something not particularly important, yet nevertheless held some importance. No, that made no sense.

Stopping dead in the middle of the street (and earning a few strange and pissed looks) it came to me. Otou-san and Okaa-san. Plus bratling… damn, what was his name again? Something like Yoshimitsu… no, that's not quite right. Yoshitsuke. Yoshi- you know what, his name is Yoshimitsu now.

Well, if that were all, it'd be fine to do it later. I'm pretty sure they didn't miss my presence.

* * *

Dammit, why did Sasuke-teme always have to be such a jerk?

Scowling as they failed a D-rank by smashing the picket fence they were supposed to paint – anyway, it was definitely Sasuke's fault for being such a jerk – he kicked a few rocks on the way to reporting to Hokage-jiji or one of those moody chuunin.

Then he saw one of his classmates walking the other way – hey, it was Satoko-chan, wasn't it? Yeah, with those weird yellow-y eyes! Of course, she was kind of mean, but she never looked at him as if he was inferior. More like she was sorry for him about… something. Kind of a mystery. Kyuubi was a secret.

Then she'd go and tell him to go away and it'd be ruined, however it seemed more like she was just annoyed. Not super mean or anything - more tired and fed up. So he tried talking with her a bit more, but she always disappeared and he never knew where – and in class she'd be next to either those Sasuke-teme fangirls or Sasuke himself, which was super annoying since then he couldn't go anywhere near.

However, now…

Bounding up, he gave her one of his patented grins. "Hey Satoko-chan!" Surprise crept into her eyes for a moment before her face blanked again. See, not mean, just really really weird!

"Hello Uzumaki-san." As she attempted to walk around him, he swore he saw her eyebrow twitch for a moment as he turned around and walked with her. "Don't you have somewhere to be?" Weariness was in her voice – but it wasn't angry, so it was okay!

"Yep!" Smiling a bit more, he continued accompanying her back down the street. "Sasuke-teme destroyed the fence we were supposed to paint, so-"

"Oi, you started it, so don't blame me, dobe." Smile turning into a frown as Sasuke caught up, he subtly attempted to move him away from his new friend. Eh, maybe not too subtly, since Sasuke's face turned into that infuriating holier-than-thou expression that he always wore when he messed something up.

Meanwhile, Satoko-chan's face got this kind-of amused look, like… like Hokage-jiji when he was indulging in watching Naruto try something.

Yeah, that was it. Though it was less happy and wrinkly, and more… serious.

Well, whatever! Sasuke was being all 'hu hu dead last' again, and that was not cool!

"Hah! What do _you_ know? You still broke more of the actual fence!"

"Shut up dobe, you're still at fault."

"What do you mean, I'm at fault?" Huffing, he pointed a dramatic, accusatory finger at teme. "If you broke the fence, it's your fault!"

"You instigated the fight; therefore you should be the one paying for your actions!"

"Inti-what?" Searching his (admittedly limited) vocabulary for what 'instigated' meant, he pulled up a blank and decided to ignore the word. "Well, whatever. Since you broke the fence, you're talking to Hokage-jiji!"

"Dobe, you're an idiot." Pulling the typical 'Uchiha brood', Sasuke turned away from him. "You began fighting first; therefore you're taking the blame. End of."

"No it isn't! Why should I-" Breaking off as he noticed Satoko-chan was gone, he began grumbling again. Why did she always disappear? All he wanted was to get to know her better!

Frown back in place, he started his argument with Sasuke again. It wasn't… 'be-come-ing' of a future Hokage to lose an argument, after all!

* * *

Watching Team 7 bicker back and forth as they made their way to the Hokage Tower, he sighed. Under normal circumstances, there was no way he'd have let any of them pass. In fact, if he hadn't spelled it out for them, they probably wouldn't have gotten the hint at all.

However, as it stood, there was no way the famed 'Last Uchiha' (with the elder one being a topic generally best served ignored) and the Kyuubi jinchuuriki weren't getting on to Jounin-track. That also involved passing that sorry excuse for a kunoichi who was currently fawning over Sasuke and spitting derogatory comments at Naruto at various intervals.

Sighing, he went back to his Icha-Icha. Nothing like reading porn in public to avoid going insane from the constant presence of three immature brats.

Of course, then Naruto went and did some other seat-of-his-pants plan that usually ended up with a whole lot more drama than he ever needed in his life.

"Hey Satoko-chan!" Racing along the street (to the raging fury of Sakura), he went and greeted another of the fresh genin who'd been walking along the street.

Wait- it was that kid, wasn't it? That one who kept sneaking into the genin side of the library and got herself scouted by ANBU. Golden eyes, black locks, awkwardly lanky figure – yep, that was her.

Huh. Maybe Naruto could learn something from her thinking process if she could stand his incessant yelling.

As the girl – Satoko – began looking visibly annoyed by Naruto's persistence, he quickly scrapped that plan. Meanwhile, Sasuke began walking faster… and picked a fight with Naruto. As the two began squabbling, he noticed as she inconspicuously slipped away from the two boys, far too caught up in their inane argument to notice anything changing.

Their painful ignorance made him feel inadequate as a sensei.

Now standing in front of him, she merely raised an eyebrow at his choice of reading material before dismissing it entirely.

"As much as I like having two boys fighting over me-" oh, a sense of humour? Nice. "-I'd rather be far away when they actually start fighting. So, I'll be going now."

"Certainly, Satoko-chan. Take care." Contrary to how most genin would react with a strange jounin knowing their name, she really didn't seem particularly surprised or defensive. Ah, that took all the fun out of it.

After giving a bland look - she caught on, how boring - she continued with her action of jumping onto the rooftops and heading off. After he was certain he had a good read on her chakra – unfortunately, it seemed she had fairly large reserves and rather distinctive chakra, so following her was a simple task – he began sensing out her path.

That level of compression was quite impressive – for a genin, of course. Maybe a chuunin, if he was pushing it. Although random bursts of chakra periodically flickered to life - chakra control problems, a common issue for those with larger reserves - it was, on the whole, quite impressive. No wonder she was listed as a potential recruit for ANBU.

Feeling a little like he was stalking a little girl, he ended his vigilance when her incorrigible suppression loosened a little. Probably should tell her about that particular tell next time he saw her.

Absently, he wondered how Inoichi would feel about joint practice.

Naruto managed to fail in punching Sasuke, tripped over his own feet and ended up falling into a dumpster.

Absently, he wondered how much dirt he had on Inoichi that could convince him to have a joint practice.

* * *

 **a/n** wow that definitely wasn't filler

wink wink nudge nudge

anyway just in case I'm typing up chapters focusing on Satoko's early life/Academy just to put in as filler in the inevitable event that I don't finish a chapter on time.

loads of people were asking for Shikamaru and the last chapter was remarkably Shikamaru-devoid, so I put him here. Should also stall all those questions about 'who would win in a shogi game'.

 **anyway, please**

 **press**

 **the**

 **button**

 **and**

 **leave**

 **a**

 **review!**

 **Thank you!**

 **\- saya**


	7. The Meddling of Kakashi Hatake

**a/n** I had a fantastic two weeks.

Not.

First I got a fever, then shoulder pains, then back pains, then a cold, then my eczema decided to make a reoccurrence.

It was horrible.

I'm sorry if this seems a little stranger than usual – half of it was written while laid up in bed, the other half while also hurried with trying to catch up with the work I missed… while laid up in bed writing fanfiction.

Though, I did realise something – Shikamaru would great at playing Candy Crush.

Yep.

That's what I contemplated during my fever-induced bedrest.

Okay, I'll stop now.

Last update **BrightestOfCrayons won the 100th review oneshot** **,** and it is in the works – I've just been very busy with the aforementioned sickness and then overload of work, which is why it isn't done yet. It'll be done by next update! Probably. I'm sorry.

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[edit 28/05/2017: well firstly _shit_ because that oneshot kind of;; never got done;; and also general grammar fixes ect.]

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* * *

Light filtered in from the beaming sun, an unfathomable yet present warmth seeping into the air, the faintest of breezes bringing the sweet scents of the market to the window…

While I grumbled and attempted to turn off my alarm clock while half asleep.

Hey, never said I was a morning person. In fact, it was likely the opposite, considering the ridiculous price of coffee meaning that on my pitiful genin wage it was a once-a-week thing. And I'd already drunk my weekly coffee on Monday.

Rolling out of bed, still partially swathed in sheets, I irritably shut the blinds – why I didn't do that last night, I couldn't remember – and grudgingly tugged on my ninja uniform. In my opinion, if the normal waking time were pushed back to 10am, the world would be a happier place.

Well, maybe my old world would. In this one, what with all the mass-murdering psychopaths roaming the countryside (I'm looking at you, Akatsuki) and six year olds taught how to efficiently shut off someone's airways – it's unlikely it'd help much.

Now in a foul mood, having thought about both my new career and my old world – two sure-fire ways to piss me off – I somewhat carelessly made my way across the rooves, twenty minutes late to the designated team meeting time.

Ah well. They're probably used to it by this point.

Now putting all my focus into hiding my chakra, I soundlessly made my way across the branches –

\- until a squirrel caught sight of me and immediately skittered away, attracting attention to my movement. Head whipping around, Inoichi somewhat smirked at me glaring at the errant squirrel.

Possibly smirked. It was rather difficult to tell with him.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Not caring if I was swearing, I dropped from the trees, sending one more baleful gaze at the rodent before sitting on my tree stump, not caring if it looked like I was sulking. Might as well make use of this child's appearance for frivolous luxuries like this.

"Language." Absently reminded Inoichi, poker face firmly in place. "Now, today we'll be taking our first mission-"

"Mission?" Jumping up, Shirai was acting like an immature idiot – as usual. Not once did it cross his mind to ask exactly what mission we were taking. "Hell ye-"

"No, Shirai-san, it will not be awesome." Cutting in, my cold gaze was now directed at Inoichi. Just this morning, I'd already woken up late, sun in my eyes, no coffee and a goddamn squirrel giving away my position. There was no need to add '1st D-ranked mission' to that list as well.

"Pfft, how would you know what missions we're going on?" I pinched the bridge of my nose. After repeatedly proving him wrong about his truly idiotic preconceptions, you'd expect him to listen – but of course, he didn't. Of – fucking – course.

Taking advantage of the lull in conversation, Inoichi interjected before I could voice my convoluted explanation as to why we should wait before we do D-ranks. "You'll find out once we get to the Missions Office." Giving us a passing glance, Inoichi stood and turned to leave the grounds, leaving no room for arguments.

Pulling a face and dragging myself up, I dragged my feet the whole way.

Yes, petty and immature. However once you factor in listening to Shirai's ridiculous talk of 'protecting Daimyo' and the imminent cat-chasing, weed-pulling or furniture-moving, it really wasn't that uncalled for.

* * *

Tch. They all graduated from the Academy, to be demoted to shopping for some random civilian-!

"Calm it. You'll rip the list." Cut through Satoko, managing to sound both disparaging and authoritative at the same time. Grudgingly, he relaxed his grip, although his face stayed put in its scowl. Why did she always believe she was above him – like they both hadn't graduated with similar-ish marks (he knew she ended up 14th out of the 24 people who passed) – and disregard the fact he had worked damn hard to get to where he was!

Gritting his teeth now, he stalked away from that nin-tailor's house in silent fury, however extremely maturely keeping a lid on it. Next to him, Satoko snorted in that self-important way she had, beckoning him to read out the list. Dammit, who cares about being polite to someone like her?

"I'm not someone for you to order around-" he began hotly, before being stopped by Sensei raising a placating hand.

Scowling, he ended his rant, choosing to send glares at his indifferent teammate.

"Now, what do you think about her accent?" enquired Inoichi, looking at the three of them as they walked towards the market. Huh, what was that about her accent? It was quite similar to that time the family shop had those people from…

"Fire Country, far west, isn't it?" he hummed, recalling those particular shinobi who'd been posted there, on and off, for the previous… 10 years? It'd be 12 by now, wouldn't it? They were kinda nice, he guessed, though they smelled a little like manure. Eurgh.

Now he could remember them clearly.

Perhaps a little too clearly.

"Correct." Giving him a quick, reassuring smile, he gave a slight one back to Sensei, feeling a rush of satisfaction at getting something faster than Satoko for once. "Now, what does this suggest about this particular nin-tailor?"

"Likely from a farming family." Droned Satoko, looking as uninterested as usual. Tch. Why is she here if she isn't even going to pretend she's trying? "And as she came here, presumably has no husband, and still apparently has her original accent…?" She looked doubtfully at him, and he felt the temptation to interrupt her – why did she have to doubt everything he said? He wasn't an idiot! "…It's likely she was from one of the town affected by the Year 68 economic downturn in the region of the Nishiwaga municipality, isn't it?"

Shrugging, she carried on walking.

What in the – well, who cares if she can list off all those facts? They're useless in a fight.

Carefully he disregarded the fact she did better in that spar with Chouji than he did.

"And how can you tell that she has no husband?" Gently prodding them for answers, he thought hard. Why – I mean, she could, she had a house big enough-

"Her shopping list consists of mainly ingredients that could be combined into quick and easy meals, and the portions are small." Giving Shoda a blank look – hey, wasn't he holding the list? He blinked as he noticed his hands were conspicuously empty.

Dammit, he had been robbed again!

Grumbling under his breath, he waited for Satoko's admonishments again. "Good job, Norio-kun." Ah, there it was. "Finally noticed you got robbed from right underneath your nose." Gah, that sarcastic damned drawl just rubbed him wrong in every – single – damn – way!

"Satoko-chan…" In a warning tone, Inoichi defended him, though that did nothing to ease his temper. He didn't need others to fight for him!

"I'm trying to help his situational awareness." Pointed out Satoko, with some sort of sick innocence radiating from her. It was damn obvious she'd been caught red-handed trying to needle him for his reactions.

As she did every day, without fail.

Honestly, it was as if she took some joy in pointing out everything wrong about him, while ignoring his good points! …which were admittedly small in number, but there still were some, and they'd never once been mentioned by her.

Sighing, Inoichi gave a dry look at Satoko. "You knew exactly what you were doing, Satoko-chan." At angelic, wide-eyed expression he got back, Sensei apparently gave up. "Honestly, if anything, you're the person creating the most teamwork problems." Inoichi-sensei finally saw that? And here he thought Jounin were supposed to be _perceptive_. "So, yes. You can tell through her accent that she is from far West Fire Country, and therefore was almost certainly involved in their economic crisis. How does this reflect on her personality?"

"Since she moved to Konoha likely due to that, she'll be more money-minded, and therefore more likely to be bribed." Glowering now, he started walking faster. Psh, if he'd been given just a little bit more time, he'd see that as well.

Nodding approvingly at Satoko, Inoichi continued. "Correct. She'll also be more frugal in her spending, and so we can predict which stores she favours. We can also assume the amount of time she spends in the market will be shorter and likely during times where prices are lower." Pausing for a moment, he looked over at Shoda, who was looking rather astonished at the list. "Does her shopping match up to our hypothesis?"

Hypo-what? Well, whatever it was, it reflected the list, since Shoda gave a sharp nod.

"We'll be doing more of these kinds of tasks and analysing personality traits." Giving a quick look at all of them, Inoichi's eyes fixed onto him. "It'll also be for identifying where you lack certain information gathering skills." For some reason, he felt they were pointed towards him, and he seethed. He was not that bad! "But, for now, let's buy these items."

Stalking forwards, he shot a dirty glare at Satoko as she gave an almost imperceptible snort at him.

Some day he wouldn't be looked at as if he was a dunce. He swore it. He'd be just as amazing as his brother.

* * *

Another piece of paper landed in the bin as I gnawed on my pen distractedly. How to address this? Scowling, I picked up another piece. Why did I care so much about that damned imposter family? I was only writing this because they kept me alive for the first few years of this life.

Now frowning heavily, I put my pen to the paper. I really needed to stop worrying about frivolous things like this – it wasn't as if they cared if it was perfectly written or not.

 _'Dear Koike Wakana, Koike Takuya and Koike Yoshi-something._

 _Not that you cared that much in the first place, but I'm still alive, and am now a ninja. I will not be visiting you again, nor should you expect any support from me when you're older. In other words, all relations between us have been severed. I do not expect a response to this letter, and any messages that you send to me will be ignored._

 _From your ever-loving daughter,_

 _Koike Satoko.'_

Looking at the letter with a certain amount of distaste – there was still an underlying feeling that it was poorly written – I carelessly stuffed it into my pocket, intending to bring it to the Fire Country Post thing. Not only was it posted at a minimal cost, however it also was screened by paperwork Chuunin, meaning there would be a record of being separated from my family within Konoha Records.

Somewhere.

The Archives were a huge thing, spanning several buildings and reaching both far over ground and underground, so looking for a single letter would be near impossible if not already an admin ninja for that specific section.

There was also something else that felt like guilt, squatting in my stomach like a bad curry, though I ruthlessly crushed the feeling as soon as I identified it. Why should I feel guilty for their poor parenting?

Besides, I already cut ties with the genin girls because they no longer represented a good investment of time and effort. It'd be foolish not to continue with what I'd already started.

Wandering along the now-familiar Konohan streets (there was no rush, so I might as well relax), I paused on the street corner as I heard the all-too-familiar calls of 'teme' and something sounding suspiciously like 'Sasuke-kun' echoing around the buildings.

So I turned, post-haste, and decided to take the longer route.

No need to be around them any longer than needed.

* * *

"What are they doing here?" I had completely fouled up my morning stealth – however, it was with good reason. Because upon arriving there in the morning, Team 7 were standing there.

Not exactly your ordinary Wednesday. And to think, I'd walked for an additional 10 minutes to avoid them yesterday.

"Kakashi-sensei left a note saying to come here." Scowling, Sasuke made it quite clear how he felt about that particular news. Of course, then Sakura took this to be his 'brooding face' or some ridiculous fangirl shit like that and not-so-subtly began squealing.

The headaches. I could feel them coming.

If I get fucking abducted by the Akatsuki, Inoichi would rue the day he allowed them to stay in our training grounds.

"So, I suppose we will integrate them into our training today." Inoichi's poker face was in place, and it really didn't take a genius to work out that he probably wasn't particularly happy with this situation. Though, it really would take a genius to confirm it. That was one mean poker face.

However, now I think about the circumstances closely…

Kakashi blackmailed him, didn't he?

"Morning warm ups – Satoko-chan, you're doing four laps now." Apparently, my distaste showed on my face, as the barest hints of a smirk came through. "You've known since the start that you were capable of more. I was simply humouring you." Now full-out scowling, I began running, followed closely by Sasuke.

"I'll be running with you." Sasuke's cool words shook me out of my thoughts.

"You're doing four laps too?" Outwardly I was politely enquiring, however internally I wished I were capable of outrunning him. There was no way I wanted to have any links between me and soon-to-be nuke-nin Uchiha Sasuke.

Except excessive training would make it all the more likely to be entered into the Chuunin Exams.

Damn.

"Five." Not to be outshone? Hm. If you look closely, there were actually many parallels between him and Naruto, no matter how much the two of them would deny it.

"Overachiever."

"Hn."

It fell into peaceful silence, punctuated by the occasional distant yell from Naruto or Shirai.

"Can you leave your team?" Blinking, I looked over at Sasuke. Well, of course, he'd want to leave – I could count on one hand the number of people who'd willingly spend time Naruto.

That's disregarding any Naruto fangirls from Life 1.

"Yep. But you won't be able to."

At this, his frown became more pronounced. "Why not?"

"Because Hatake Kakashi is the only person in the village who can teach you to use your Sharingan properly."

"Wha- Kakashi-sensei?" After a moment of silence, his eyes widened. "He has the Sharingan under that hitai-ate?"

Sighing, I upped the pace of my running. It was astonishing how ignorant he was about things not pertaining to power training. "It's not my place to say anything." Scowling now, he fell into contemplative silence.

Well, it was silent for a bit, until Naruto came racing past us, closely followed by a heavily sweating and breathless Shirai. "Having fun there, Norio-kun?"

Giving me a glare – it was like a fluffy guinea pig glaring, it really wasn't intimidating at all – he carried on full-out sprinting after Naruto. I was completely happy allowing them all to pass me, and focused on completing my last lap.

Arriving feeling rather refreshed, I was greeted by the sight of Shirai sprawled out on the grass, sweat patches on his clothes, while Naruto looked… about the same as ever. Probably an added boon from Kyuubi – being permanently full to the brim of energy.

"Well, how are you doing, Norio-kun?" Smirking now, he gave an undecipherable grunt and a pointed glare before going back to doing a remarkably accurate impression of a fish out of water – gasping and flopping, namely, were the points of comparison. At this point Shoda turned up, took one look at Shirai and Naruto, and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"It was supposed to be a warm-up, not a race!" The pair didn't even have the decency to look slightly sheepish.

"Katsu-kun's right, you know." Of course, Inoichi finally turned up. "You still have the rest of the exercises to get through. Oh, and Satoko-chan?" My face fell as I realised what he was about to do. "You'll be doing one third more than stated, and I will be watching you." Scowling – surely, it was enough that I was far healthier than my previous life – I fell into doing push-ups, dreading how my muscles would feel tomorrow.

* * *

Pouting slightly – she wasn't scowling, that would be unbecoming of a lady – she waited under the trees for Team 5's lazy kunoichi to turn up. It was that Satoko girl - wasn't it? The one with yellow eyes that Naruto greeted, and then she had the audacity to not even bother greet Sasuke-kun or herself! And she'd gotten so ugly too – wearing all black, shapeless trousers that all the boys wore, frizzy hair and eye bags…!

"Satoko-chan, you need to get better control over your reaction to surprise." At Inoichi's sudden words, she squeaked a little as Satoko suddenly fell out of one the trees, giving them all a somewhat creepy stare.

"What are they doing here?" At this she bristled – she wasn't even going introduce herself, or…or show any decorum in the slightest? Honestly, it's no wonder Naruto greeted her – they were two of a kind!

"Kakashi-sensei left a note saying to come here." Ah, Sasuke-kun – oh, he had that beautiful and ever-so-handsome thoughtful face! Smothering her squeals, she recorded his features to memory, filing them away in the Sasuke-kun dedicated part of her mind.

"So, I suppose we will integrate them into our training today." Inoichi's bland voice broke through her thoughts, and she blinked at the thought. Training? They'd never done any of that with Kakashi. Besides, what constituted training? Did they learn new jutsu? "Morning warm ups – Satoko-chan, you're doing four laps now." All the blood drained out of her face.

Laps?

But the training grounds – each of them were huge!

However, it appeared Inoichi actually meant _laps_ – just thinking about it made her feel tired - since after a brief, one-sided conversation, Satoko began running around the outskirts of the grounds.

"I'm doing five." Sasuke-kun's tone brooked no argument, and she'd love to follow him, however she doubted she'd get through five laps. So she watched with sad eyes as Sasuke-kun went to follow Satoko, while internally debating how to make herself appear both strong and attractive.

"Well, then." Taking control of the situation again, he gestured towards the two remaining members of Team 5. "You're doing the usual, three laps. Naruto-kun, you can do three too." Turning to him, she felt the urge to squirm under his cold gaze. "Sakura-chan, two. Your body has barely any muscle mass. Do you have any morning exercise regimen?" At her shy denial, he pinched his nose bridge in a move she associated with Ino-pig. "Then make it one lap." Muttering something about 'irresponsible Kakashi blackmailing innocent people', he wandered away, leaving her to do her running.

.

.

Panting on the ground, she looked balefully at the dismissive gaze Satoko gave her. How did she not notice how much of a bitch this girl was in the Academy? 'Gah, what a two-faced, lying brute that girl is!' Inner Sakura raged, calling for her to jump up and clock her over the head as she did to Naruto. However, she really didn't have the energy for that, plus it would make her look bad in front of Sasuke-kun, so she settled with something of a glare at Satoko.

Which apparently made Satoko more amused at her plight.

"Aww, the little bunny is trying to be scary." Even while she was doing push-ups, she still found the breath to mock her, which only served to bruise her pride further. Inoichi had let her off doing them after seeing how tired she was after even just one lap.

"I'm…not…a bunny…" panting, she continued glowering, despite her efforts being in vain.

"Well then, stop fawning over Uchiha-san, put on some weight and get stronger." Bluntly stated Satoko. Coming from her lips, it sounded less like advice and more like a demand. "You're useless, and so you can be a harmless bunny."

"B-but…" Not care about Sasuke-kun? Preposterous! He'd see that she was the perfect girl for him… eventually.

"I don't give a fuck." Apparently having finished her push-ups, she was now doing sit-ups.

"I-I'm-"

"Don't care." Gah! Who cares what Satoko was saying now!

"There's no way I'll give up on Sasuke-kun!" Voice dangerously close to being a growl, she gave the person who dared question her loyalty a black look.

"Good for you." Neutrally commented Satoko, voice finally showing some strain through the intensive exercise. To think, Satoko made her so mad she nearly yelled, and then simply blew her off once she proved herself?

Huffing, she rolled onto her side, facing away from Satoko.

Of course, the exercise session (and therefore the peacefulness and Sasuke watching session) ended too soon for her liking. As they sat on the ground, all panting apart from Naruto (idiot probably didn't know when to be tired), Team 5's sensei addressed them all.

"I'll be taking my team for a mission now-" Inoichi started, however was interrupted by loud refusal.

"Aw, Inoichi-sensei! D-ranks are so boring and pointless!" Oh yeah, Shirai Norio, wasn't it. Just as bad as Naruto – he might not be as loud, orange or ignorant, however he had a flaming temper and spoke at a volume that was just a touch too loud for polite company. And was an idiot, though to a lesser extent than Naruto.

Not that being slightly more intelligent than _Naruto_ meant anything.

"We're doing a D-rank." Team 5's sensei reinforced the point, this time with an edge of steel to his tone that dissuaded Shirai from saying anything stupid. "So, Team 7, you have the rest of the day free. Please refrain from annoying your Sensei so much that he will have to take another break involving… 'saving baby dolphins from drowning'." A cool drawl to his voice made it clear that he really didn't believe a word Kakashi-sensei had said.

"Lazy Kakashi-sensei probably just went to read his porn somewhere." Griped Naruto, and for a moment she agreed with him. Then that notion was immediately banished, because she did not agree with Naruto for anything.

"Nevertheless, whatever drove him to cash in a favour with me – don't do it, because I will not be happy to see you here again." There was some emphasis on 'cashing in a favour'; making her think some less-than-peaceful interactions between the two Sensei had occurred. Nevertheless, she nodded, since Inoichi, despite his poker face, seemed subtly annoyed.

It was just a hunch, but if he really was annoyed…

Well, there was that tale her Kaa-chan liked to tell her about the two angry Jounin who blew up half the market district.

Leaving with Shirai and Sasuke subtly glaring at each other (seemed they'd really rubbed each other the wrong way) she gave in to one last childish instinct and stuck out her tongue at Satoko just as they passed the gated and revelled in her disgusted expression. Only for a second though, because she needed to remind poor Sasuke-kun that she was always there to walk home with him if needed be.

It must be so awful for him, having his family killed like that…

* * *

"Yes!" crowed Shirai next to me, practically jumping. "C-rank!"

"What is the C-rank?" Of course, I was happy that I wouldn't have to do yet another old lady's shopping, but for all I knew it was something as boring as the real Team 7's mission of guarding whoever turned up at the gates for bandit protection. That is, before whatever missing-nin it was decided to spice things up.

"It's a small bandit ring in Hanran Hara village, near the border with Waterfall." Explained Inoichi, picking out the different elements from the chicken scratch on the scroll. "We were called in to work out who are the bandits and… eliminate them."

"Eliminate?" Questioned Shoda, with an odd look in his eyes. Well, of course he'd look a little off, since I believe Inoichi was insinuating that…

"Yes, eliminate. So, kill."

At those words, the mood took a turn for the worse.

"It won't be difficult to do so," continued Inoichi, his relative monotone betraying no emotion. "This is more a matter of your first kill." Giving a quick, sweeping gaze, it lingered for a moment longer on Shirai, who'd gone horribly pale. "This was inevitable, and no doubt the Academy instructors mentioned that."

Hmm, I suppose they did. Somewhere in between the happy-go-lucky vibes and blatant indoctrination, of course.

"We'll discuss this later." Inoichi's tone had softened, and if I wasn't mistaken, his posture had adjusted slightly to make us feel more at ease. Well, I suppose I should be thankful for the effort.

Somewhere in the back of my mind, it wondered where my ever-so-cavalier attitude came from, why I wasn't bawling and shaking as my old world self would have done – however, I quickly dismissed it. No need to be worked up – I'd cross that bridge when I reached it.

"Pack enough for one month – Hanran Hara is a few days out, and since this is your first mission, we'll need additional time to explain the intricacies of completing missions to a high standard too." Inoichi stood, and the rest of us followed suit. "You can go now."

Walking away, I could almost feel the strange, questioning gaze of Inoichi on my back – however, I chose to ignore it.

Because whatever questions he had about my behaviour – I was pretty sure I also wouldn't be able to answer them.

* * *

 **a/n** Cause this is FILLER, FILLER NIGHT.

I'm sorry, both for the lyric pun and the fact this is the junk I wrote for you guys.

Next chapter will include actual plot with the C-rank and all! Yes, plot! I know, I can't believe it either!

.

.

See you in 15 days/half a month/a fortnight and

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 **Thank you!**

 **\- saya**


	8. Shunshin-ing into Trees

**a/n** started this chapter with loads of inspiration - ended with none.

I'm sorry that this one is a bit shorter, but I have tonnes of work and just... work. In general. And life.

I am so bad at it.

why did i not get a tutorial 1/10 stars

difficulty set too high

...I'm sorry, waffling again.

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Beta is **the wonderful Fayth85** because I can't do plot, ahaha

literally. Fayth probably wrote more of the plot than I did.

In any case, I now actually have the C-rank (sort-of) planned!

.

A lovely reviewer told me they sometimes found it difficult to tell who's POV it was, and since there are like a ton of POV changes (lack of motivation does that to you) I've labelled them for you.

* * *

 **(Satoko POV)**

Racing out the window – doors were overrated anyway – I bounded across the rooves of Konoha, cursing to myself.

Seriously, I had to do something about this oversleeping habit. Not only was it encroaching into team training, however if anything were to actually happen during the mission then I'd be totally defenceless. Of course, chances of that were slim considering it was about three unskilled bandits we were chasing around the more populated roads; however, there was still a chance.

One I most certainly wasn't willing to take.

In the meantime, I was running damage control and streaked across Konoha, where my team stood looking rather unimpressed.

"Dammit Satoko-chan, you couldn't even be on time for our first C-rank?" Grumbled Shirai, looking incredibly pissed off. Couldn't blame him, I suppose. It was completely my own fault, allowing this to develop into a poor habit.

"Sorry." At once, his scowling features went slack in… surprise? "What?"

"You never say sorry." Eyes narrowing, he moved forwards, staring closely at my face. "How do I know you're not an imposter?" Pinching the bridge of my nose, I took a step back, giving him a deadpan stare.

"That's some of the shittiest interrogation I've ever heard." Snorting at his defensive face, I quickly put my hands up in a symbol of universal surrender. "So, Norio-kun, want to try again?" Scowling, he nevertheless complied.

"What did Inoichi-sensei's riddle say?" Blinking, I looked at him closely. That… was actually a half-decent question. Damn.

"What is the time in which I do what I like best, right?" Stifling a grin at his peeved face – seems like he finally realised how much of an idiot he was – I turned back to Inoichi, who was watching the proceedings with his now signature poker face.

"Now that you've all enjoyed a valuable team bonding session-" Team bonding? What? "-let me check your pack, Satoko-chan." Dismissing his strange words – I'd ponder them later - I handed over my pack. Quickly rifling through it, he picked out two sealing scrolls with a raised eyebrow. "These aren't the Konoha standard."

At that, I stilled. After all, I'd been certain I only packed scrolls from the store, not one of the ones I'd been playing around with during my free time in the Academy.

"I've only ever gotten my supplies from Konohan suppliers." Picking my words carefully, I winced a little as his eyes sharpened.

"I know that you have an understanding of fuuinjutsu." Well, fuck. Carefully hiding everything under a mask of complete neutrality, I watched Inoichi closely. Not that it did much – it was like trying to read the body language of a brick. "So what's special about these ones?" Was he bluffing? Fuck, it was literally impossible to tell.

"Reduced lag with putting in and taking out objects." Conceding, I averted my eyes from the twin accusatory glares of my teammates.

"That's all?" Sounding supremely unimpressed and doubtful, I scowled further at his cocked eyebrow.

"If you look on the back of it, it creates drawings of what's in the scroll, based on the shape and size the dimensional pocket takes on. It's not quite finished yet, though. I'd need to get into the jounin library to finish that."

Now smirking with repressed amusement, he put the scrolls in my pack and threw it back. "Oh, also?" My mind began whirring again. Something else?

Sunovabitch, he was bluffing the entire time!

"Those were ordinary scrolls." Sighing, I buckled up my pack again, ignoring the twin dumbfounded gazes of my teammates on me.

"So, are we going or what?" At Inoichi's nod, I slung my pack back over my shoulders and began walking, eager to experience being outside of the walls yet again.

No matter how nicely painted they were, I still yearned to see the horizon without those red walls caging me in. Really, I'd never realise how much I treasured liberty until those walls became a permanent red blot on the horizon.

Passing the walls, I saw the horizon – blue, with little white clouds floating in it – and I smiled, because if I forgot everything for a moment… I could pretend I was back at home, walking along the beaten countryside tracks.

* * *

 **(Inoichi POV)**

Watching as his genin team walked along in relative peace, he could feel it, the potential for greatness, and he took a calming breath. For quite a while, within Konoha, he felt he'd lost it, that they'd gotten lost somewhere along the way.

However, here? He could see it.

For once, Satoko and Shirai were acting maturely – well, Shirai was excitedly taking in every detail, having been raised solely in Konoha, so hardly 'maturity' per say, however at least he was quiet – while Shoda quietly watched everything with a discerning eye and Satoko gazed ahead with something akin to nostalgia.

Which, now he thought about it, was extremely strange.

For one, his theory as to why Satoko was almost completely cut off from any feeling of affection relied on a combination of poor parenting and resentment – clearly seen through that rather acidic letter she sent her parents – probably coupled with early loss of a close friend or a different parental figure of such. Although the second was impossible to prove, he was relatively sure of his verdict.

This was then continued on through a lack of any positive role models to follow through most of her childhood – left in an apartment by herself, honestly. Naruto was the only reason that option existed, and the Hokage should've just dealt with the accusations of favouritism and made it an exception, rather than allowing six-year-olds run wild.

Regardless - if outside Konoha represented bitterness, loss and potentially misplaced guilt, why did she stare at the sky with such fondness?

In any case, there was no way she achieved such a split from her emotions so early in her life without some kind of trigger, which must have happened outside the village.

Seems like his theory needed some revision.

Well, it always had. Firstly was whatever was up with her accent – of course, it was nearly all Konohan, with the slightly grating tones of the countryside mixed in at various points – however, upon receiving a new word (particularly those of jutsu) it twisted into something he couldn't recognise. For starters, it put emphasis on different syllables – of course, there was always this in different accents, however it wasn't noticeable unless you were from Kiri or Kumo, and neither of those sounded like whatever that was.

Then came a certain amount of underlying weariness and maturity that, although hidden behind an almost seamless mask of acidity, could be picked out by him during their short conversations.

In addition, he had to note the random titbits of information she somehow knew – he was quite certain that detailed facts on the composition of blood were only taught to high-level medics – and the strange comparisons and saying that she expected to make sense to them.

Quite clearly, there was very clearly an entirely new layer under that mask, though it was almost completely buried.

He wasn't sure if Satoko herself knew it was there, or if it was some strange split personality that liked to surface sometimes.

Imperceptibly sighing, he stared out at the horizon himself.

In any case, at least they were functioning like a half-decent team right, and he might as well take advantage of it for now. No need to go investigating Satoko's inner nature or whatever it was right this second – with enough pointed questions and a slow building of trust, it would surely reveal itself with time.

After all, the only other way to reveal it would be an interrogation session, which he was distinctly uncomfortable with.

* * *

 **(Shoda POV)**

"Norio-kun, Satoko-chan, Katsu-kun?" At Inoichi-sensei's voice, he forced his attention away from the shrubbery – there was a surprising variety in the undergrowth of the forest around them, and he had to resist the urge to wander closer and inspect them – to Sensei, who looked as serious as ever.

"What is it, Inoichi-sensei?" Shirai voiced the question he was about to ask, a bemused look on his face. Seems like being given some responsibility managed to knock a little common sense into him. "Wait, wait! Are you teaching us a super awesome ninjutsu?"

Well. Apparently not.

"It might not be quite as awesome as you'd like," Wait, he was actually teaching a ninjutsu? Yes, this was a good step towards becoming stronger. Now intently listening, he saw Satoko do the same, glimmers of interest in her eyes. "-but yes, I am teaching you a ninjutsu. It's called Shunshin no Jutsu (Body Flicker Jutsu)."

"Yes!" Cheered Shirai, punching the air victoriously. Sighing, he glared at him, hoping he'd realise all his exuberance was only holding up proceedings. Although surprisingly, he left off the rest of his 'victory dance', as Satoko so dubbed it, which was a nice change.

After Inoichi showed him the hand seal (only Tiger, which seemed surprisingly simplistic) and gave a small amount of detail on what a successful shunshin felt like, he set upon learning the jutsu with single-minded ferocity.

Unfortunately, unlike the stories on great ninja, it took longer than a few hours to learn a jutsu, and so by the end of the day all he'd achieved was a puff of smoke and maybe two inches of movement.

Well, it was better than Shirai, who – while walking – had jerked himself an inch or so forwards and ended up falling flat on his face.

And Satoko? Why, she'd done that several times.

It was really quite amusing seeing her repeatedly fall over as she attempted to control the amount of chakra going into the technique.

Setting up their camp for the night – Shirai had pestered Satoko into unsealing her tent, despite her many complaints that it was wholly unnecessary with no rain in sight – Inoichi called them over again. "You'll all be hunting for your food today." Pulling out a map of Hi no Kuni, he pointed to where they were. "There's lots of forest around here, so lots of game, but don't get lost and don't go too far from camp. I don't want to be chasing after you if you get yourselves kidnapped."

"Let's go together." At Shirai's incredulous look, he pinched his nose bridge. "Look, more people, less risk, right?"

Attempting to (and failing to) hide a yawn, Satoko gave him a thumbs up. "Good idea, Katsu-san." At Shirai's scowl – why he still thought he was all-powerful was beyond him – she glared him down. "Norio-kun, you will be coming with us because otherwise you'd get your sorry ass lost."

"Hey, I was actually in the top ten in the class for orienteering!" Spluttered Shirai indignantly.

"That's be very useful… if you had a map." Drawled Satoko. In the background, he noticed Inoichi sighing tiredly, and he felt tempted to do the same. Although Shirai was admittedly an idiot, there was no need for those two to constantly bicker like five year olds.

"Fine, whatever." Conceding, Shirai stood up, lackadaisically twirling a kunai around his index finger. "But I take first watch."

"Not a chance." There was no way he was trusting the civvie to protect them during the time when they'd be most vulnerable – many untrained bandits would roam during that period of night. "I'll do it."

"Wh-what?" Frowning, Shirai gave him a vaguely annoyed look. "Why?"

Having apparently heard enough, Inoichi clapped him hands, instantly drawing attention. "Norio-kun, he doesn't want you to do it because he doesn't trust you." Giving a sharp look at Shirai when the idiot looked like he was about to interrupt and complain, he continued. "However, I think Norio-kun will be on first watch. And going together is a good idea." With a tone of finality, Sensei stood and went to his own tent.

* * *

 **(Satoko POV)**

Yawning slightly, I dragged myself up behind Shirai, feeling like my very bones were attempting to drag me down. Seems like missing my usual nap time was quite detrimental to my health.

As Shoda crept forwards with an intense look in his eyes – huh, he was really serious about hunting – I realised – I could just leave traps! Well, I wasn't exactly going to be doing anything productive while feeling like collapsing whenever I stopped walking (although I knew I wouldn't, because the black of the sky was just too reminiscent of that excruciating pain from a lifetime ago) so… might as well.

Inching forwards another bit, I whispered into Shirai's ear (taking no small glee in his instinctual jolt of surprise) "I'm going to go set up some traps, then go back to camp."

Not waiting for him to respond – every emotion played out on his face clearly, and they showed that he was furious - I slipped away into the shadows of some Hashirama tree near to us and began twisting wire into the simple snare traps I remembered from the Academy. They weren't particularly hard to do, plus I had a lot of practice.

After all, thinking about how to get minimal energy expended and a corpse to show the instructors, the answer had come to me quite easily – camp in a tree and let the traps do all the hard work.

Finishing up the last trap, I returned just as Shoda did, gleefully holding onto two rabbits. Well, I assume he was happy – he was rather set upon looking dignified as a future clan head of Konoha.

Though, if he actually did become a clan head, I'd eat my sock.

Actually - no, I wouldn't do that. Since so few ninja wore socks, it skyrocketed the price. I would eat my shirt.

Of course, then Shirai marched up to me, face twisted in his annoyance. "Satoko-chan! The hell is up with you just leaving us?" At my shrug, he looked like he was about to growl, before backing away – still glaring; however, it seemed he finally learned of the existence of 'maturity'. "Whatever. We gotta cook this stuff now."

Blinking, I gestured towards the fire.

Nearly growling in rage, he snatched a rabbit off Shoda, beginning to crudely skin the animal. At that point, I noticed something.

"Hey, do we have any herbs or anything to go with the rabbits?" Sue me – my stomach felt the absence of chocolate, sugar and coffee, and I compensated through eating luxury savoury food.

"Wha- why would we have herbs?" Spluttered Shirai, blushing hard. Embarrassed? If he's embarrassed about packing, then… he didn't pack enough supplies in general, did he?

Huh. I'm really not surprised.

"I have herbs." Offered Shoda, pulling a bag of innocuous looking herbs from his bag.

Hiding a snort at Shirai's baffled look, I took the bag, giving it a sniff. Hmm. Reminiscent of rosemary, really. Though not quite. Shrugging, I handed it back.

"Well, I trust you know what you're doing, and that we won't all die from poisoning." Raising an eyebrow, I eyed Shoda's pack. "You being a poison specialist in the making and all."

"I wouldn't do that." Grumbled Shoda defensively, sending me a dirty look. Unrepentant, I simply gazed back.

.

.

Feeling rather satisfied after an admittedly decent tasting piece of rabbit, I waved night to the rest of my team before promptly crawling into the tent for some well-deserved sleep.

Unfortunately, my awakening was nowhere near as nice.

"-OKO-CHAN, SATOKO-CHAN!" Distantly I registered Shirai yelling, however dismissed it as my dream and rolled back into my pillow… wait a minute.

Where the fuck did my pillow – scratch that, where did my bed go?

Eyes snapping open, I realised that I wasn't actually in bed, however lying out in the grass, surrounded by my team.

"Dammit Satoko-chan, why couldn't you just wake up like ordinary people?" grumbled Shirai, looking incredibly pissed.

"Wake up like what?" I mumbled, rubbing sleep out of my eyes. "Wait, why am I sitting out here?"

"Because you wouldn't wake up at anything!" Now Shoda input his opinion, silent fury – well, not quite silent, but certainly less explicit than Shirai – lacing his words.

Well. At least now I know how big of a problem it is.

"Sorry about that." Attempting to stand, I was distracted by Inoichi asking a question.

"How long do you usually sleep for?" Questioning me, I thought about it for a moment.

"Erm, usually from about 8 pm to 9 am then maybe a two hour nap in the middle of the day?" Frowning, I turned away from their bemused expressions. "Yeah, I know I sleep a lot."

"How the hell do you sleep for fourteen hours?" Burst out Shirai, looking both confused and exasperated. "And then you spend the rest of the day like a zombie – how?" To that, I simply shrugged.

"You'll be doing another medical test when you get back to Konoha, Satoko-chan." Remarked Inoichi, looking thoughtful. "This could be symptoms of something else."

"I'm sure it's nothing." Waving it off, I slung my pack over my shoulders. "I really don't get ill often, so it's unlikely that it's another condition. In fact…" when was the last time I'd gotten sick? Holy shit, was it really in my last life? Damn. Maybe there is something wrong with me. "…I can barely remember when I last caught something." I decided on, scowling when Inoichi looked sceptical.

One of the many downsides to having a T+I officer as a sensei. You can't foist half-truths off onto them.

"Whatever. Are we going now?" Sighing, I noticed Inoichi's vaguely amused look. Yeah, pathetic attempt at diversion, whatever.

"Certainly. Perhaps it's a little later than I anticipated, however provided there's no other delays-" the emphasis on that word made me hang back a bit in embarrassment "-we'll be able to reach the village by the end of the week."

"Also, we checked your traps." How… oddly thoughtful. "You caught four rabbits. We put them in a sealing scroll for you."

Clearly, my surprise at his forethought shone through, as his face fell into a deeper frown. "Well if you're going to act like that, then you can do it yourself in the future."

"No, I just-" Huffing a little, I turned away from the group. "-not like that."

My thoughts had been veering dangerously close to 'fond'.

.

.

Most of the rest of the week passed uneventfully. I mean, there were a few occasions where I shunshin-ed into trees (to my mortification) – although Shirai did that once as well, so it wasn't as bad.

…who was I kidding; my chakra control was pathetic, even after all those hours spent attempting to improve it. At least Shirai didn't have quite as much chakra, so he didn't keep overcharging it and ending up uncontrollably racing into trees.

On the plus side, we were not attacked by bandits on the way.

No, we had chosen to go along one of the more 'civilian-friendly', populated paths. This both reduced the number of bandits – after all, bandits were often just civilians with knives, meaning if their targets were also somewhat proficient in waving a knife around and there were more of them… well, they were fucked - and gave Inoichi an opportunity to refine our information gathering skills.

"At 40 degrees." Instructed Inoichi, pointing out someone who appeared to be a…

"Farmer, he has faint grass stains on his knees and his shirt is made from a coarse fabric – maybe batiste in linen?" Deducted Shirai.

Surprisingly, Shirai had proved himself adept at identifying accents (something that I neither cared for, nor could recognise) and what different types of clothing were. Something that I also failed at, because for me clothing didn't go further than quality and design.

Of course, I was still better at identifying how it reflected on the person in question, however Shirai was improving scarily fast.

Maybe I should put more effort into… no, no Chuunin exams, thank you very much.

Orochimaru or one of his serpentine friends plus me equals a small puddle of me on the ground.

"His wagon has vegetables and such that originate in this area, so likely he's either going towards Konoha or another larger town to trade or he's already traded…" Trailing off, Shoda appeared to think for a moment. "No, those vegetables are slightly older than a few days, so he's already traded and is heading back."

Sighing as the 'guess who they are' game came around to me, I thought on it for a moment. "He's likely well-travelled, since that's quite a worn wagon and so is used often for transporting goods. Therefore, this trading thing must happen fairly regularly. Also he'll be used to the less than ordinary and has likely had bandits after him, so he'll know the basics of self-defence, or at least won't be completely useless."

"…decent." Praised Inoichi. "Though you could have also taken into account the worn look of his shoes, muscle mass, the amount of dirt on him and the positioning of said dirt, the physical state of his horse and if you squint a bit there's a ring on his middle finger. Ah, don't actually squint, Norio-kun." Hastily interjected Sensei, seeing Shirai very obviously staring at the poor man.

I sighed.

"Subtlety, remember? But overall, it's a somewhat decent evaluation while not knowing much about body language and expression." Honestly, with how much he'd been hammering that point home, it was clear that as soon as we got back to Konoha it would be something we would be learning.

In detail.

Joy.

.

.

By the end of the week, just as Inoichi had said, and after many bruises (courtesy of the trees) and uncomfortable mornings, we arrived at Hanran Hara Village.

* * *

 **a/n** aghhh such an unsatisfying ending but I just needed to round it off somehow, so...

THIS CHAPTER = HORRIBLY UNSATISFYING

Well, whatever.

.

.

.

if you like this fic then

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\- rosinban


	9. So, 3 Teenage Ninja Enter A Bar

**a/n** At the time of writing this, 525 people are following this story.

Damn.

Well, firstly, thank you. Though please appreciate that is both quite pleasing that you enjoy my story and utterly terrifying that so many people have taken interest in this fic.

Hell, I wasn't expecting over 30 when I wrote chapter 1.

This chapter is a little shorter – however it also has much more plot than usual. You heard me right. I finally got off my ass and wrote something that wasn't filler.

.

.

Just realised I haven't put a disclaimer in this story (whoops) so here is a blanket one:

I do not, will not, and have never owned Naruto. It belongs to Masashi Kishimoto.

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 **[edited 07/04/2016 - stats changed on the nin-cards]**

 **[edit 28/05/2017: grammar, flow ect. if you've been reading up to here you know the drill. changed some of the categories for the nin-cards]**

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* * *

To a simple, passing eye, Hanran Hara village might appear well off, even prosperous. Its houses were large, clearly tended to, the streets relatively clean, many people wandering around – just as you'd expect in a fair-sized trading town. And at one point, that was all it was - one, simple town amongst the many that dotted the Fire Country landscape.

Of course, you'd be pretty stupid if you took a second look and didn't notice that it was all an illusion.

Neglect had clearly taken the place in a firm grasp – peeling paint on windowsills and the like. Stalls were near deserted, with only the odd farmer trying to charge people through the nose for a few measly vegetables. Even the vegetables themselves were wrinkled, more closely resembling tree bark rather than whatever plant it was supposed to be.

Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if some of the beggars turned their noses up at the more rotten looking parsnip-mutations.

For my two teammates, who'd only ever seen the bustling market squares of Konoha, overflowing with ever-fresh produce, their faces looked utterly revolted.

If only I had a camera.

"Well, first we're going to meet who ordered the mission." If you looked at his expression, Inoichi might as well have been taking a pleasant stroll around one of Konoha's civilian parks. "It's a local barkeeper, by the name Kobayashi Yoshikazu." Walking along multiple winding roads, quite reminiscent of country roads in the back end of Europe, I was about to sarcastically enquire if the bar in question existed - or at least, if he was certain he hadn't gotten us all lost - until we came across building clearly marked 'BAR'. You know, just in case someone was slightly blind. "Well, here it is."

Blinking, I took a quick survey of it. A few flowers wilted in front of the window, so he had (at some point) a fair amount of money to throw around; however, it was likely they'd fallen into harder times. Much like the rest of the entire town, peeling paint seemed to be a staple, as well as an artfully smashed window with a few haphazard planks keeping the elements out.

Of course, my in-depth evaluation of his (poor) living standards was briefly put on hold as an angry, apparently half-drunk farmer stumbled out, eyes bloodshot and reeking of alcohol. Following him, the apparent bar owner looked rather irritated, as well as throwing glances back inside his bar, as if one of his other customers would try pulling the same shit on him.

"Get out if you don't have the money!"

Real-life soap operas. If only they knew how much producers would pay to film this sort of thing.

"Pah," here I made an expression of distaste as he dry retched for a few seconds. "'f got-tah moneh… jus' sto-opid l-la…" Apparently, in his drunken state, he couldn't pronounce the word 'lackeys'. Or any other word, for that matter. "…slaves." He finally settled on.

I'm sure his farmhands would be delighted to know they were deemed 'slaves' by him.

"I don't give a f-" At Inoichi's pointed cough, he finally recognised our presence and quickly switched words. "-flying squirrel!" Not that it mattered what curses were thrown at this point since the drunk was now actually vomiting and looked just about ready to fall unconscious.

Ah, there he went. What a lovely place to sleep, on the side of the road in a puddle of your own bile.

At his departure from the... conversation, so to say, both our attentions turned to the opposing party. "So you're the ninja?" His rather unimpressed expression spoke many unsaid words.

Next to me, Shirai and Shoda tensed against the slight, however didn't say anything. It was a fair judgement to an untrained eye, after all. Moreover, he was the one paying us.

"Correct." Ever charming, Inoichi stepped in where it was clear we wouldn't cut it. "Team 5 from Konohagakure no Sato, here to complete the C-ranked bandit extermination mission." Once again, an overwhelming sense of grimness fell over our group.

Inwardly, I sighed.

Sure, I could understand why they sent us on this mission.

Unlike Team 7, all of us were expendable. After all, they wouldn't want to accidently alienate the Kyuubi Jinchuuriki further than they already had, of course, and traumatising the Last Uchiha (well, adding to Sasuke's rather long list of trauma-inducing events) was out of the question, even when his clan was still alive.

So, of course, they got the mission that didn't directly reference killing.

On the other hand, if we couldn't handle killing – well, that was too bad, wasn't it? There would be no chance of promotion further than genin (or maybe chuunin – if we lucked out), and so we wouldn't be worth their time, money or a valuable jounin.

In fact, the only one of us with the slightest bit of worth (in the cold eyes of Administration) was Shoda, and even then – if he wouldn't handle combat, they'd simply rope him into being a hospital iryo-nin.

Yet that didn't make it settle better with my teammates, and I had neither the skill nor inclination to help them out of their rut.

Turning my mind back to the slightly grimy barkeeper in front of us, Kobayashi dismissively grunted and waved us away. "Sure, okay. At least you, Blondie, look like you'll do a half-decent job." Ungrateful arse.

Huh. I wonder if this is how I make other people feel?

Oh well.

"I'm afraid it doesn't work that way, Kobayashi Yoshikazu." The aforementioned barkeeper's eyes narrowed – direct address makes people feel uncomfortable like that. "We'll need a few details on the nature of the bandit attacks in order to locate them."

"Tch." Turning his eyes to his bar – no doubt inviting underage ninja in would kick-start the rumour mill like nothing else – he beckoned us in. "Sure, whatever. Don't touch anything, or you're paying for it." Pausing for a moment, he looked at us – in particular, my teammates – and added to his statement. "Also, no drinking. I don't want a bunch of drunk kiddie ninja in my bar."

"We're 13, sir." Rolling my eyes – of course Shoda would think people would make intelligent choices rather than the choice being waved around in front of their faces – I walked through the threshold of the bar, politely closing the door behind me before turning and taking in the full image of 'the Bar'.

Well, at one point it was undoubtedly nicely painted with a somewhat fancy lacquer (for a bar) and was likely quite a reputable destination for well-to-do farmers and tradesmen. However, that was where my compliments ended. Now, grime collected on various nooks and crannies, something slightly sticky on the bar tables, and the leather on the seats was riddled with cracks and stains.

If this weren't the mission, then there wouldn't be any chance of me touching the tables, even with a barge pole.

Surveying the patrons next, I took in the sight of someone passed out on one of those very tables, a small puddle of drool by his mouth.

Yes, I'm very happy I made a concerted effort not to touch a single surface except the floor.

Face slightly pinched, the barkeeper pulled out the unconscious man's wallet of sorts (it was practically falling apart at the seams), before counting out a few bills and then, in a feat of strength, dragged him outside and laid him out on the pavement.

"He does that all the time," Our partially curious, partially disgusted looks slid off him. "and he's never worried about it before."

Feeling distinctly uncomfortable as the full smell of alcohol, grease and an undertone of vomit assaulted my senses, we walked towards the back of his shop.

.

* * *

.

It was another day of trying to squeeze every last penny from farmers and every last drop from beer bottles.

"We were supposed to have an import of Rice Country sake today." It was Sunday, typically the day when farmers flocked here with their extra earnings – although, during these times, it was more like wallow in their sorrows and try to forget their money troubles. "Where is it?"

Of course, he already had a pretty good idea, but might as well ask.

Next to him, his brother raised an eyebrow however, regardless, conceded the information.

"Robbed and sent packing." Well, shit. All of them were feeling the strain, and they had barely half the amount of beer they needed for the Sunday rush. "Seriously, when are those ninja going to get their sorry asses over here? We paid through the nose for them."

"They're supposed to be coming today." Standing – no use poring over their bank statements for any extra funds that went 'missing', there was no money to be given – he walked towards the front of the bar to open for the morning. "You coming?"

"Nah." Seizing another few sheaves of paper, his sibling began poring over them again. "All it's going to be is a bunch of farmers looking to blow their money on cheap sake."

Shrugging – he had a fair point – he went to the counter, hiding an expression of distaste when he saw a few farmers already there, counting out their pitiful earnings.

For most of the day, it ran like standard – check they had money, serve them drinks, kick them out when their either ran out of cash or got too rowdy. Or vomited. They were definitely getting the boot if that happened.

It was just after kicking out yet another drunkard that they came.

A slight cough came from his side when he was just about to curse out the fool, and he turned mid-swear just to see a man with a ponytail - with the Konoha emblem on his forehead - escorting three preteens.

Hastily changing his curse into something a little more innocuous – to which he received a belittling smirk from that creepy girl – he checked the man really was unconscious before leaving him a safe distance from his bar.

Having people passed out right by your door was bad for business.

Then he turned and gave them a second look. "So you're the ninja?" Sure, their apparent leader of sorts looked competent.

Those kids? Not so much.

One of them was pulling a face and fidgeting like a toddler, another looked like he had all the emotional range (and mental capabilities, for that matter) of a bean plant, and their female teammate might be knocked over if a strong enough wind blew.

All in all, not worth his savings.

"Correct." Ponytail man stood forward, giving a somewhat beatific smile. For a moment, he felt himself relaxing - before nearly slapping himself around the face. These were ninja, and no matter how harmless they looked, it was practically their job to get under people's defences then _stab them_. "Team 5 from Konohagakure no Sato, here to complete the C-ranked bandit extermination mission." At that point, he noticed a marked depression fall over the two boys.

Wait, extermination?

Damn.

Yet no matter how remorseful he felt at that (they couldn't be older than thirteen, surely), they were still being paid out of his pocket and had a job to do.

"Sure, okay." Pausing for a moment, he regarded the team again. "At least you, Blondie, look like you'll do a half-decent job." He turned to go back to the bar – he'd left his brother to staff it for a little while, however those shipments wouldn't line themselves up.

"I'm afraid it doesn't work that way, Kobayashi Yoshikazu." Gritting his teeth, he turned to face them again. They were supposed to get rid of the bandits, no need to lash out at them. "We'll need a few details on the nature of the bandit attacks in order to locate them."

Huffing slightly, he turned it over in his head for a moment. Those bandits really did have to go, or else they wouldn't last another year. And that'd be bad, because harvests were at an all-time low, meaning no extra grunts required... and he had no other skills. In other words, he'd be so stuck it wouldn't even be funny.

Lips thinning as he realised exactly how much he was pinning on those ninja succeeding, he beckoned them in. "Sure, whatever. Don't touch anything, or you're paying for it." Pausing for a moment, he re-evaluated them. Ninja didn't have any honour code, and he doubted that these would be any different. Plus that kid kept twitching. "Also, no drinking. I don't want a bunch of drunk kiddie ninja in my bar."

"We're 13, sir." Nearly snorting - hah, if he had a little more time, he'd tell him the story of how he found those teenagers in the storage, drunk off their asses - he made his way inside, followed by a soft patter of feet.

And of course, Kijimuta was out like a light. Again.

Flicking his eyes over to his brother - he was busy trying to convince some half-mad farmer that no, you didn't get a discount on your fifth glass – he sighed and took the payment for the array of bottles in front of him before dragging him to sit next to the other unconscious guy.

Walking inside again, he quickly noticed the emotions of bemusement and morbid curiosity. Ah, it must have looked rather bizarre to them – it barely registered with regular patrons, but these were just kids. Kids who'd probably never been in a bar before. "He does that all the time." Well, since those bandits started, anyway. "And he's never complained before."

Now that he thought about it, he was probably giving them a rather poor impression of what a bar was.

Ah well. It wasn't his problem.

Setting a brisk pace towards the back, closely followed by the ninja, he pushed a few trade files to one side – gah, why couldn't that girl just stop staring – and directed them to a few of the overflowing piles of chicken-scratch documents. Those were all the details they'd compiled on bandit-related incidents concerning their business - and no doubt, there was stuff from the _other_ businesses as well.

"Those ones have all our information on the bandit stuff." Picking up one, he just managed to smother a smirk. "Be warned, they were written by my brother, and his handwriting's awful."

"We'll be fine." Wait, he hadn't gotten Ponytail man's name yet, hadn't he?

Hang on a moment, what had possessed him to want to know their names, as if he was going to get all buddy-buddy with mass murderers?

"Now, Norio-kun? I want you to…" Tuning out Blondie's instructions with a certain amount of trepidation - Blondie was scarily good at getting people to like him, he decided as his theory - he went out the front where his brother was wiping out a few glasses. Well, pretending to. It was clear that he was really waiting for news.

"Those were the ninja? Didn't look like much."

Sighing, he took his own rag. "Nah, they didn't." Taking a cursory look at them, he hastily went back to his glass when wall-faced boy called him out on it with a sharp look. "Though, their leader looks pretty capable, so hopefully it'll get done."

"Yeah. Hopefully soon."

.

* * *

.

"Hey Inoichi-sensei…" They'd been looking at these files for around quarter of an hour now, and Satoko already thought she had something? Damn, he needed to up his game if he wanted to prove his worth. Honestly, his only saving grace was that he was improving at the same pace as Shirai. "See, on over three events they changed routes and bandits were already there. Does that mean…"

"Yes, the bandits are likely well-integrated members of the community." Almost gawping, he stared at Inoichi. Honestly, he looked exactly the same as always, as if he hadn't just flipped their investigation on its head. So far, they'd been operating under the assumption they had abandoned their homes and were rogues, perhaps moving from another area, and now he's saying they're actually ordinary people?

Pushing his anger down under several layers of mental steel (turn that anger into resolve, tou-san always said) he flipped through several more pages, and it settled into relatively peaceful working silence.

"Hey, look at this!" Pushing my files over to one side (they were pretty much useless anyway, filled with complaints and baseless rumours), I devoted my full attention to Shirai's map, hoping that it wasn't going to be something idiotic. Next to me, Satoko gave it something like half an eye, far too absorbed in her own files to be paying any attention. "See, these houses haven't been robbed. And they're in the poorer area, meaning they have incentive to rob stuff!"

"Or," and there was Satoko, their resident ray of sunshine, "they could just not have anything worth robbing." Sulking, Shirai went back to his map.

"Hey, Norio-kun, don't look so disheartened. It was a nice starting theory." Giving Shirai an amiable pat on the back, Inoichi then clapped his hands, drawing attention. "So, anything new?"

Shrugging, he turned back to his files. Next to him, Shirai was still slightly sulky and so merely inclined his head. Though, it seemed Satoko have an idea…

"Well, I suppose you were sort-of onto something, Shirai," Next to him, Shirai perked up at Satoko's half-assed compliment. God, that guy was far too easy to push around. "Even if I did start looking for it before you. I'm looking for their incentive."

"H-hey, who said you could drop the 'san'?" Shirai's half-hearted grumble fell flat.

It seemed he _really_ liked the praise.

Of course, his complaint (whether there was any intent behind it or not) was completely ignored by their kunoichi teammate, who was flipping through piles of near-illegible documents at lightning speed.

Then she snatched Shirai's map.

"What the hell, Satoko-chan!" Although Shirai might have been in a slightly better mood than usual, he still really didn't appreciate having his property stolen, and he reached a hand out to get it back.

"Shut up, Norio-kun." Absentmindedly she batted his hand away, while drawing circles around some mountain range with her finger. "I think they're ordinary villagers who are being bribed by either Yamaki village or Oka Firudo village…" Pausing, Satoko gave a yawn. "I dunno; go find out who's doing the bribing or whatever."

"Hey, how do you expect us to do tha-" Suddenly breaking off, Shirai shot a confused look at Inoichi, who'd stood and was dusting off his shorts. A glance at Satoko saw her seemingly daydreaming – chakra sensing, perhaps - before suddenly jumping up.

Honestly, by this point, he really wouldn't be surprised if she was capable of it. There seemed to be an awful lot that she so conveniently forgot to mention.

Like goddamn fuuinjutsu - he wouldn't have bothered digging into his savings for poor-quality store-brand storage seals if he knew his teammate could literally write him an improved, high quality version.

"Who are they, Inoichi-sensei?" It seemed extremely out of place for Satoko to sound confused… wait- they?

"Who's 'they'?" Shooting glances at the door, he allowed a questioning lilt to colour his voice.

"A group of around 9 civilians, all with no formal combat training." With their sensei seeming supremely unconcerned, he decided that they weren't a threat and relaxed, along with his teammates.

"Civilians, okay." Exhaled Satoko next to him, seeming relieved. Well, that was pretty shitty chakra sensing if she couldn't distinguish ninja from civilians.

Of course, there was the matter of why a group of nine civilians would be coming. It might be a bunch of farmers looking to drown themselves in liquor, sure, however that seemed awfully unlikely, considering there was still produce left in the market to sell – and the fact most would be sensible enough to cut their losses and not buy loads of alcohol.

Plus it was only three in the afternoon. Although the farmers were desperate, he'd assume few were desperate enough (or rich enough, or stupid enough) to blow off what was arguably one of the busier days of the week in favour of drinking.

"Why would they be coming here?" Shirai had settled into what he'd mentally dubbed as his 'thinking pose', one hand under his chin while the other scratched the back of his head, looking at sensei – as if sensei would give them a straight answer.

"Why do you think, Norio-kun?" As he said – why did his teammate ever expect a straight answer?

Personally, he thought he already had it – though considering his notes were all detailed reports on how 10 different businesses were doing in regards to trading and business, it was a big giveaway.

"Well, since this is a bar, the obvious answer would be that they're here to drink." His teammate flinched a little as Satoko's raised eyebrow came to rest on him. "That's not the answer? Damn."

"Don't strain yourself, Norio-kun; your brain isn't used to all that work." Ray of sunshine. Seriously.

Though, it was impressive how she managed to listen to Shirai's garble and deliver such decisive smackdowns, all the while gathering piles of unintelligible notes into seemingly random piles.

"And no, it isn't." Seemingly adding that point as an afterthought, she then began crushing the piles back into what were presumably their original boxes.

"Wait, wait! This is a group thing they formed against the bandits!" At his nod, Shirai's face practically lit up. "See, even though these notes were all written by that dude's brother, they all have a slightly different take on the situation, which means there are many people!"

"Eleven people. I have the reports for the financial health of ten different businesses here." Flashing them at Shirai, he seemed scandalised.

"What? That's so un-"

"What's so unfair, Norio-kun?" Next to him, his two teammates started – neither had noticed Inoichi leave at all – he saw a troupe of several civilians come in behind him, looking distinctly mollified.

What had Inoichi said to them, exactly?

"This is that anti-bandit group you were talking about." Appearing oblivious to the slightly terrified looks the civilians were giving him, Inoichi gave a short introduction. "They'll be helping us with our investigation."

.

* * *

.

 **OMAKE: Early life**

Standing up, I enjoyed a brief moment of fulfilment before crashing back to Earth. However, no, that did not deter me from my ultimate aim.

Being able to walk around like an ordinary human being.

Because, quite frankly, it was humiliating having to be carried everywhere.

And, just to prove my parents my parents loved me ever so much, they were having another child. Some junk about having a 'strong heir'. Seriously, fuck that sexism. As soon as I was tall enough, I was slugging him – that _father_ , he calls himself – in the face. Then he'll see who's 'strong'.

Struggling to my feet again, my mother ever-so-inconspicuously peered around the corner. Amazing. It was such a feat of stealth that a 7-month-old baby noticed it.

Well, of course, I wasn't quite 7 months old, however she didn't know that.

"Mummy," searching through my limited vocabulary, I found a match, "don't stare!" Giving a weak smile, 'Mummy' slipped back around the corner, cheeks flushing from embarrassment.

Now, standing! Struggling to my feet yet again, this time I managed to get a solid balance. Grinning in happiness, I stepped forward with one foot…only to fall back onto my face. Treating the ground with a harsh stare, as if it caused all the pain I was in right now, I struggled back into sitting position, ready for another try.

Of course, then my mother took that moment to rush in, holding a bundle of cloth.

"Here, Satoko-chan-" eugh, that name brings bad memories "-try on these clothes for kaa-chan, okay?" Not leaving me any room to protest – and even if I did, I had no power to back up my (rather dirty) arguments (hey, what did you expect when I listened to farm workers all day?) – she pulled out one of the most disgusting things I'd ever laid my eyes on.

Lurid pink, with ghastly yellow accents, topped off with sparkly nets.

Fuck this.

"Mummy, no!" Shrieking slightly – perhaps it was undignified, however I was physically only a few months old, dignity was lost on them – I began my attempted crawl to freedom.

Unfortunately, it was not to be.

After many struggles and bruises, it all came down to the inevitable truth that baby bodies were not suited to combat. Therefore, ten minutes later – despite my efforts – the outcome was ultimately not in my favour.

Although, to my quiet delight, there were now several new bruises adorning 'mammy's' limbs.

"Look how sweet you look!" trilled 'mammy' next to me, subtly massaging one particularly nasty lump on her forearm.

Serves her goddamn right!

"No. Fucking ugly." Next to me, she went pale.

"Satoko-chan-" that's it, I'm changing my name. I was going to be a plain old Aoi or Sakura or something. "-where did you learn that word?"

"Shitty fucks on an ass!" Aha, this was fun. Seems like all that eavesdropping on farmhands was really paying off.

"Satoko-chan, listen to me-"

"Nope!" Okay, so, maybe I was giggling. However, this was literally too funny. Although, it was also reaffirming my vow of never having any children.

Struggling for words, she inhaled deeply, pinching her nose bridge. "Look, Satoko-chan-"

"Nope."

"Sa-"

"Nuh-uh."

At this, she gave a cross between a scream and a growl – you know, I was never aware human vocal chords could produce that sound until now – and stormed out.

About time. Besides, I needed to get back to walking.

Tugging the sparkly monstrosity over my head and hurling it (as best I could) into the corner of the room, I pulled myself yet again onto shaky feet, crowing in delight as I stood.

Baby steps, sure, but they're still steps.

.

* * *

.

A wonderful reviewer named 'pregar' has pointed out that it gets difficult to keep track of my OCs (since I switch between using their first and second names, which I should really stop doing), so I took up their suggestion and have made ninja card-esque profiles. You will be able to find these on my profile as well.

They will probably be nothing like an actual card, because a) I don't have pictures and b) I can find at least 4 different types of ninja cards on the internet.

 _Assume, for all the attributes with numbers, that:_

 _0 Civilian level_

 _1 Academy student_

 _1.5 Bog-standard newly graduated genin_

 _2 Your average (experienced) genin_

 _2.5 Bog-standard newly graduated chuunin_

 _3 Experienced chuunin_

 _4 Jounin/ANBU (ANBU will have multiple skills at 4, while jounin will be more specialised, maybe reaching 4.5 in 1-2 attributes)_

 _5 Kage (as good as you're going to get)_

.

.

 **Koike Satoko**

 **Rank:** Genin

 **Gender:** Female

 **Speciality:** Ninjutsu

 **Special:**

Reborn professional chess player from another universe

Knows the basic outline of the future

? _(will be revealed later)_

 **Elemental affiliation:** Lightning

 **Best move:** N/A

.

 **Team:** Shirai Norio, Shoda Katsu

 **Sensei:** Yamanaka Inoichi

.

 **Speed:** _2 / 5_

 **Stamina:** 1.5 _/ 5_

 **Power:** 1.5 _/ 5_

 **Intelligence:** 4 _/ 5_

.

 **Genjutsu:** 1 _/ 5_

 **Taijutsu:** 1.5 _/ 5_

 **Ninjutsu:** 2 _/ 5_

 **Weaponry:** 2 _/ 5_

 **Kekkei Genkai (bloodline):** 0 _/ 5_

.

 **Exams taken:** 0

 **Missions:**

S - 0

A - 0

B - 0

C - 1

D - 10

.

.

 **Shirai Norio**

 **Rank:** Genin

 **Gender:** Male

 **Speciality:** N/A

 **Special:**

?

 **Elemental affiliation:** **?**

 **Best move:** N/A

.

 **Team:** Koike Satoko, Shoda Katsu

 **Sensei:** Yamanaka Inoichi

.

 **Speed:** 1 _/ 5_

 **Stamina:** 1.5 _/ 5_

 **Power:** 2 _/ 5_

 **Intelligence:** 1.5 _/ 5_

.

 **Genjutsu:** 1 _/ 5_

 **Taijutsu:** 1.5 _/ 5_

 **Ninjutsu:** 1 _/ 5_

 **Weaponry:** 1.5 _/ 5_

 **Kekkei Genkai:** 0 _/ 5_

.

 **Exams taken:** 0

 **Missions:**

S - 0

A - 0

B - 0

C - 1

D - 10

.

.

 **Shoda Katsu**

 **Rank:** Genin

 **Gender:** Male

 **Speciality:** Poisons

 **Special:**

Comes from a ninja family specialising in poisons

 **Elemental affiliation:** **?**

 **Best move:** N/A

.

 **Team:** Shirai Norio, Koike Satoko

 **Sensei:** Yamanaka Inoichi

.

 **Speed:** 1.5 _/ 5_

 **Stamina:** 1.5 _/ 5_

 **Power:** 1.5 _/ 5_

 **Intelligence:** 2 _/ 5_

.

 **Genjutsu:** 2 _/ 5_

 **Taijutsu:** 1.5 _/ 5_

 **Ninjutsu:** 1 _/ 5_

 **Weaponry:** 2 _/ 5_

 **Kekkei Genkai:** 0.5 _/ 5_ _(inherited poison resistance)_

.

 **Exams taken:** 0

 **Missions:**

S - 0

A - 0

B - 0

C - 1

D - 10

.

* * *

.

 **a/n**

Well, only some of it was filler. I reckon that's an achievement – that it was mostly plot. Mostly.

.

Anyway, if you have anything to say at all (really anything, including criticism)

 **please**

 **press**

 **the**

 **button**

 **and**

 **leave**

 **a**

 **review!**

 **Thank you!**

 **\- rosinban**


	10. Stalking Bandits in the Forest

**A/N:**

to start - **I am so sorry** for leaving this for as long as I did. There were many reasons why - stress being a big one, but also the sudden surge in followers I've seen that put a lot of pressure on me (in my mind) to write the 'perfect' chapter. I also really, really disliked the early chapters, and they all mounted on each other until it got to the point where I couldn't bring myself to read my own story.

yep.

fun times.

ALSO: I have **edited all previous chapters** with what are (hopefully) new and improved ones, so check that out if you want to.

* * *

either way, I'll save everything else for the bottom AN (for those who read it lmao) and put a **recap** here:

Satoko has issues with family and leaves for Konoha.

There, she thinks she passes off as mediocre in the Academy, and wishes for a genin corps life so she doesn't suffer a painful death via Orochimaru/invasions/Pein/various other disasters. She really doesn't pass off as mediocre.

She is put in a team with Shirai Norio (civilian) and Shoda Katsu (ninja family) under Yamanaka Inoichi. He fully expects to fail them with a difficult test, only then they pass.

[put training break and bonding (?) with teams 7 and 10 here]

They leave for their first C-rank, which is to eliminate some bandits around Hanran Hara village. They go into a bar, where they keep records on the bandit attacks, only then the meeting of local business owners happens and they decide to sit in.

* * *

...

* * *

"So, this… anti-bandit group…" Shirai looked doubtfully at one of the civilians, who was sweating nervously. "What do you do?"

"W-well, we try to avoid bandits by rerouting supply wagons." A general hum of consensus went around the members of the group. "And we record where attacks have been coming from, to try and predict where the bandits will be…" his lips thinned, and I smirked a little bit, already predicting what he was going to say. "…well, that hasn't been working out so well."

"We'll be sitting in on this meeting, team." Of course we were. Sighing a little, I pulled over a chair – unlike the Academy, I'd actually have to listen and process whatever they were talking about.

Hopefully, though, it'd be a little more amusing than an hour-long drone on the Nidaime.

Once we'd all settled down – well, two of the civilians were awkwardly perched on the edges of their seats, looking warily at us, so perhaps not 'settled' per say, but it was good enough – Kobayashi rose and awkwardly coughed.

"Well, our bar have had 2 out of 3 shipments of alcohol attacked…" Giving a tight-lipped smile – the atmosphere was almost unbearably heavy – he gestured towards one of the other men. "Erm, Modegi-san, what about you?"

It proceeded in a similarly monotonous fashion, and the air was still quite tense when the meeting seemed to be relatively 'wrapped up', having discussed how they were, once again, going to instruct their suppliers to use different routes to avoid the bandits.

Scratch that lecture on the properties of Hashirama trees – this was some of the most boring drivel I'd ever listened to.

However, there was something I needed answered. "Excuse me, can I ask when we were called?" Balancing my head on one of my hands, I slightly rephrased the question. "As in, when were the forms filled out for our team to come?"

"Oh, around… three weeks ago?" Frowning slightly, Kobayashi seemed to be thinking rather hard about something that happened only a few weeks ago. "Tansho-san still had a form from a while ago, and we sent it with one of the farmers that regularly go up there."

"Thank you, Kobayashi-san." Giving a quick glance at my teammates – they both made vaguely dismissive gestures, while Inoichi was an unreadable statue – I simply shrugged and decided to ask another question. "How many times do you meet up?"

"Every fortnight, for the past few months." Scratching his chin, he then gave me a strange look. "Why?"

I shrugged again. "Figured this might be valuable information. Ah, just one more question," Kobayashi sent me an impatient look. "Do you change the routes every meeting?"

"Yeah. You done?" Innocently, I put my hands up in false surrender at his irritated look.

"Certainly, Kobayashi-san. Thank you for being so helpful."

"Sure, just do your job." Waving me off, he quickly ushered all the other shop owners out while I thought.

So, they changed routes every meeting, meaning it was almost certainly someone within this group who was the 'traitor' in question. And we'd already confirmed that the group were pretty low on the IQ scale.

So, if we assume that once they heard ninja were coming, they did the typically stupid thing and tried to make themselves look as innocent as possible… it was tenuous at best, and its chance of success was negligible.

But, still…

"Can we check whenever any of those guys had their homes 'attacked' precisely three weeks ago?" Reaching a lazy hand over to the relevant pile of documents, Shoda whipped them up right at my fingertips. "Oh, okay. You do that, then."

"So you think…" In a pose of intense deduction, Shirai massaged his temples with his thumbs. "…you asked whether they changed routes every time, and they did, and there's a traitor. There was also a question about when we were requested, and all of them, including the traitor, would know that."

Suddenly, Shirai sprang up. "So, you think that he might have tried to make himself look super innocent by having his home falsely attacked!"

Briefly, I paused. "Okay, so, that's what I was kind of aiming at." My lips twisted into a grimace as Shirai jumped up and cheered. The idiot. "But there's a really low chance of that actually finding the traitor, so…" Now frowning a little, my teammate sat back down, thinking hard.

I resisted the urge to take a snarky jab at that.

What else could identify who was collaborating, and who was not? Presumably, it started with one group trying to avoid the bandits as they became a serious threat.

"No one." Unceremoniously dropping all the documents on the floor, Shoda looked just about done with everything that had transpired. "No one has. The closest is an attack 4 weeks ago on the butcher's neighbour."

Scowling, I went back to my thoughts.

At the start, I could see Kobayashi's plan wasn't going too badly. So then, more business owners joined, and then they were avoiding all the bandits. Then we can assume the bandits bribed someone to join that group, so they could continue to sabotage Hanran Hara village.

Then it'll be one of the later additions. Though, how late?

"Hey, wait." Blinking, I looked up at Shirai. "Like, two of them looked really well-off compared to the others." At my questioning look, he explained. "See, they looked about the same as normal, however they had some new stitching around the cuffs that make me think they had some kind of nice padding inside? Like, put in recently."

An obvious conclusion to make from that – they had seen a rather out-of-sorts increase of wealth recently.

Hence they were the traitors.

Though, being bested by Shirai put a dampener on my own celebrations. Of course, I'd given them all a cursory look – specifically, for jewellery or expensive fabrics – however I hadn't bothered to look closely enough to see stitches for padding or anything detailed like that.

My performance had been sloppy.

"And you couldn't have mentioned this five minutes ago?" drawled Shoda, looking supremely unimpressed. "Okay, okay. So who were they?"

Shirai shrugged, and I hit my face with my palm.

"What the fuck, Satoko-chan? Why did you just slap yourself?" Glaring at Shirai (who was slightly panicking, not that he'd ever admit it), I then nearly hit myself again as I realised that was a mannerism not found in Konoha.

"It means you're an idiot, Norio-kun. And let's leave that be." Another glare was directed at Shirai. "Okay, so, where were they sitting?"

Giving a hum, he skirted the table, seemingly clawing memories up. "Here," pointing to one of the far chairs, "and there." Stretching across the table, he gestured to another random chair.

"So… Sakurai Yasutake and Tsujimoto Toru?" Shoda was already digging through the papers, throwing a few relevant pieces in front of us.

"Wait, you remembered their names?" Taking a few moments to blink dumbly, Shirai then waved it off. "Yeah, sure. Not that big of a thing, after all."

"Actually, it is." Jumping a little – Inoichi had been there the whole time, damn – I turned towards our team leader. "Your performance during that meeting was subpar."

Ouch.

Well, okay, so we might have done kind of badly. Yet he was a T+I interrogator and a Yamanaka to boot – surely he must know of the existence of sugar-coating words, just a little bit.

"Satoko-chan was the only one who attempted to seek information. Katsu-kun was the only one who remembered their names. And Norio-kun was the only one who analysed the civilian's appearances." Giving us a harsh look, I resisted the urge to shrink into my chair.

Next to me, though, Shirai was hardly making a secret of it.

"It worked out fairly well for you this time, having all looked at different aspects, however you shouldn't make such basic mistakes as missing out entire sections of standard interrogation." Another sharp look passed over us, and then it was over, and I felt like I could freely breathe again.

(Internally, I was fuming - I just got intimidated by someone probably the same age as me. Like hell that was happening again.)

"So, how do we get to the bandits through them?" Giving a quick look at Inoichi, Shoda quickly amended his words. "Provided those are the right people, after all."

"Yes, they were the right people." Conceded Inoichi. "And how do you think?"

Next to me, Shoda gave a sideways glance, as if expecting me to have all the answers. Meanwhile, Shirai did the exact opposite, massaging the temples of his forehead as if trying to coax the information straight through his skull. Sighing a little – didn't I deserve a nap after all this? – I thought about it myself.

"Well, presumably they need to be paid their bribes and give the information." Absently, I leaned back. "There will be a delay of about a day before the message to the supplier arrives, telling them the altered route they need to take, meaning the informants in this little council have to meet the bandits within the next few hours to ensure they are aware of the new plan. So, if we follow them, they'll eventually meet up with the bandits."

Inoichi gave me a nod. "A good plan. Though, to save time, I will tell you that both of them are traitors, however it is Tsujimoto Toru that will be handing over the information to the bandits today. I could tell as the notes he was taking were far more in detail, and listed all route changes, as opposed to just route changes that applied to his suppliers." Another judging glance was sent at us, and Shoda visibly shrank under his gaze.

Of course, then Shirai chose to demonstrate his rather proficient selective hearing skills, as he jumped up, scattering papers everywhere. "Well, then we need to go now!" There was genuine delight in his eyes from the prospect of doing something other than searching through endless stacks of paper.

Of course, he wouldn't realise that trailing a civilian for hours would be just as bad.

Well, at least I'd be able to get out of the bar's backroom – if I stayed for much longer, my clothes would almost certainly pick up a permanent stink of cheap alcohol.

* * *

Uncomfortably, I clung to the rafters of the roof as I watched Tsujimoto Toru's family eat dinner. Their food had doubtlessly been some of what the bandits had robbed, judging by how fresh and plentiful it was.

"Yeah, there were some ninja in our meeting." There was a fond smile on his face as he watched his daughter wave a spoonful of some variety of mashed vegetable in the air.

"Ooh, were they wearing all black?" Gently, the spoon was eased out of her hand by her mother as her movements grew steadily wilder, excitement written clearly across her features. "Did they have masks? Did they do any of their ninja magic? Did they-"

"One question at a time, Kaori." Came the reminder from the kindly looking lady at the table, presumably Kaori's mother and Toru's wife. "And, besides, I thought they were only trainee ninja…?"

"Something like that." Dismissal was clear in his tone, and I felt my hackles rise. It was already bad enough having to eavesdrop on people talking about me – worse that they were insulting me, and all I could do was awkwardly perch over them like an oversized bird and mutely listen to them dragging my name through the dirt.

"Oh." There was clear disappointment in Kaori's eyes – by contrast of her mother's relieved expression, likely from the fact that she thought her husband would be safe.

Something about this felt like spying on something intensely private.

I resisted the urge to fidget. This was a new low, encroaching on a family meal - although, I did have to note that it was far more civil than any family dinner that had ever occurred in the Koike household. Usually, by this point, at least one argument would've broken out.

Maybe I was setting my bar too low for 'civil meal'.

"Anyway, I have to go now." A significant look at his now slightly ashen-face family. "You know why." As he pushed away from the table and moved towards the front door, I took great joy in stretching out aching muscles as I slipped back out through an unfastened window, shadowing Toru as he stalked down the street.

Honestly – he couldn't make it any more obvious that he was delivering secret information to the bandits. Everything about him screamed 'guilty', right from the pale sheen of sweat across his temple to his hands, fixed in bone-white fists at his sides. Even his walk was strange – stiff and unnatural, head whipping around occasionally, as if I'd be stupid enough to just be standing there behind him.

We didn't even need to go to all the trouble of working out who was in cohorts with the bandits – one look at this guy's face said it all.

Briefly, I took a moment to pull out the tracker seal I'd tucked into my pouch that Inoichi had given me, pushing chakra into it to signal that he was moving to contact the bandits, and after another few minutes of creeping along rooftops, the rest of my team joined me.

"-still don't see why we couldn't have just baited the bandits to attack us." Apparently Shirai had finally realised that this part of the plan was just as interesting as the rest of the mission so far – as in, about as interesting as watching grass grow.

"Because that mightn't have been the whole bandit group." Came Shoda's reply through clenched teeth, barely clinging to some semblance of calm.

This conversation had apparently been going on for a while.

"Quieten down." Inoichi gave off a sense of being rather unamused, even if he was outwardly about as emotional as a brick wall – which was a rather telling sign that he was currently in a rather poor mood. "See, there's one of the bandits there. Satoko-chan, if you would get a little closer." At my glare, a small smile ghosted over his features. "Stealth training."

"Hey, how come she-"

At the sudden silence, I assumed Shoda had forcibly shut him up – a wise decision, considering Shirai's inability to read the mood or regulate the volume of his speech. Or volume of anything, really. However, my focus was on getting close enough to our two target's hushed conversation to eavesdrop, and so all I could hope for was that Shoda's chosen method didn't include knocking Shirai unconscious.

After all, then we'd have to carry him.

For someone so weak and obviously lacking in muscle mass, he was extremely heavy.

"…need a pay rise for this." Seemed like Toru was unhappy with the terms of their agreement. Then again, I would be too, if someone hired ninja to specifically hunt me down. "Ninja, Koyanagi. _Ninja_."

"Baby ninja." Corrected the bandit – well, Koyanagi, apparently, though I would bet that was a fake name. A convincing fake name, however if I were a bandit I certainly wouldn't give an unknown and potentially disloyal outsider my actual name. "Besides, you knew what you were signing up for."

"Yeah, and it was you who drew attention to the fact that we were passing information-"

"Orders." From my position – stretched out across a tree branch like some kind of overgrown sloth – I watched carefully as a trail of sweat beaded on his forehead. Whose orders, I wonder? Those of your bandit leader? Or an external organisation? "Those were our orders – to increase the number of deliveries intercepted – and you're gonna have to fucking deal with it because I'm not paying any more money."

At that, the bandit stormed off, while I fluidly swerved around tree branches and rooftops to stay within hearing distance of him.

Under his breath, many… ah, creative and rather unflattering terms were being used to describe Toru.

Might borrow them, actually.

 _Very_ creative.

Eventually, we left the confines of what could be considered Hanran Hara, going further into the wilderness with every step further. In their defense, they'd done a fair job in disguising their route – seemed like they alternated between using a few different routes to ensure there wasn't a particularly noticeable trail leading straight to their base.

Nevertheless, now that it had been pointed out to me, it seemed so shamefully _obvious_ that it made me wonder how we'd passed by it in the first place. No wonder Inoichi had seemed so unimpressed throughout the course of this entire mission.

Grass stalks that had grown bent over. Twigs mysteriously snapped and no branches left to grow below what could reasonably be considered 'an average adult's ducking height'.

Make 'observation of the environment' just another thing on a shopping list of skills that I needed to improve, then.

As their base came into view – an abandoned farmhouse, apparently, I re-joined the rest of the team as they collected around a particularly gnarled oak tree from which we could observe the farmhouse.

"Well, he had some choice words to share about Tsujimoto Toru, at the very least." Idly, I stretched out my limbs, suddenly acutely aware of the aches and pains that had accumulated over a few hours of awkwardly perching on various trees and rooves. "Toru wanted a pay rise, apparently, for the hassle of having ninja around. The bandit refused. Then Toru went on about how the bandits were drawing attention to him and the other guy-"

"Sakurai Yasutake." Interjected Shoda, looking distinctly displeased at how informal my report was.

"-yeah, the other guy," and I soldiered on, because if I went through the standard form they might just fall asleep on the spot from how little of note actually happened, "and then the bandit said they were operating on orders and had to increase the number of supplies intercepted."

"Anything on the bandit's appearance?" Inoichi had an eyebrow raised, as if it were a challenge.

Did he really think so lowly of me?

"Brown hair, cropped short. Horizontal scar just over his right eyebrow from some kind of knife. Prominent cheekbones. Wears a black bandana over the bottom half of his face, however I doubt he's a poisons user – it seemed to be a vanity thing. Above average muscle for a civilian, but still poses a relatively low risk. A knife seemed to be his only weapon." For a moment, I paused. "He also told Toru that his name was Koyanagi, though I thought that might just be a fake name."

"A decent observation." Wow, Inoichi was really laying on the praise thick. How complimentary. "Now, Katsu-kun, what defences do you see on their base?"

Squinting a little, Shoda glared down the base, as if the angrier he made his gaze, the more he'd be able to see. "None, apparently." A pause. "One of the bandits looks out of one of the ground floor windows on the left every now and again, however there's no organised defence."

Nodding, Inoichi gave his verdict. "Good observation." Shoda shot a triumphant look at me, which I ignored. I wasn't being dragged into a petty competition of 'who can get the best compliment' with a twelve-year-old.

I also chose to ignore the number of times I had been dragged into petty competitions with my teammates over things like that.

Besides, I was pretty certain he was questioning us about the areas of intelligence gathering that we were weakest at – in other words, a question on anything else, and I would've clearly trumped him.

"Norio-kun, what do you think we should do now?" Immediately, Shirai's gaze slid over to me.

Now – that was flattering.

However, this could only be a positive experience. Perhaps learning a little more about tactics would actually give him some brains to speak of, and stop making me want to smash my own brain onto the nearest hard surface.

"I –uh, well, we need to go in?" Or maybe not. "So, uh, we can get in through an unlocked window somewhere, and then look around to see how many bandits there are?"

"Hmm." Leaving that single syllable hang in the air, it was clear Inoichi wasn't impressed.

"Well, there's also a hole in the roof we can get in through." Regaining confidence, Shirai began speaking in statements, rather than questions and mumbles. I restrained the urge to sarcastically congratulate him on that. "And then we can knock any bandits we come across unconscious."

"Very well, we'll go with that plan." Shirai's face lit up like a lightbulb, something which Inoichi summarily dismissed, returning to questioning us on our not-quite-stable plan for entering and seizing the bandit base. "How do we know that's all the bandits?" This was posed to all of us, judging by how his gaze swept all of us.

"That bandit with the route information only arrived a few minutes ago, and the meeting to decide routes only occurred a few hours ago. This means several things." I began counting them off my fingers. "One: the suppliers are not yet moving, since the information hasn't reached them. Two: this means no bandits are out and about, because the suppliers are not travelling. Three: the bandits themselves will be assembled in one small area to listen to the information they just received."

Hastily, Shirai covered over his slightly blank and dazed expression with some kind of imitation of a wise guru – or, at least, that was what I guessed, since he was failing quite horrendously. "Yes, of course."

Inoichi's expressions had been wiped off his face again.

"I have some sleeping agent that might help with knocking the bandits out." Out of Shoda's pack came a small drawstring bag of what was presumably some kind of mystery tranquilising powder. Next to me, Shirai visibly shifted away a little – not that the inch of space he put between him and the bag would actually matter if it were getting out into the air. "If we put it in their drink, they'll be out in about five minutes."

"Alright, here's the plan." Instantly drawing attention back to him, Inoichi lightly cleared his throat before explaining whatever master plan he'd concocted in the last few minutes. "I can confirm there are four civilians inside the building, all in that ground-floor lit room. Satoko-chan will enter in through the hole in the roof, and spike the drinks they're having right now. We will stay outside the room, hidden in that bush by the window." Then his gaze flitted to me. "If anything goes wrong, flare your chakra and I'll get you out as quickly as possible."

Really?

He expected me to be caught by a bunch of what were essentially civilians with knives?

Nevertheless, it was likely a necessary security protocol – always have a back-up or retreat of some kind – and so I nodded, though my pride still stung a little.

"Any questions?" Silence. From the 'abandoned' farmhouse, a cheer rose up, accompanied by the distant, tinny sound of clinking glasses. Their celebrations were, unfortunately, just a tad too early. "Alright then, let's go."

Braking away from the group, I swiftly ran up the side of the building to the second-storey roof, fitting through the gaping hole easily and landing whisper-silent on a pile of rubble – presumably from said collapsed roof.

Putting all the practice I had over the years in maintaining silence to good use, I stuck to the shadows all the way down to the ground floor, standing outside the doorframe to the bandits with a pounding heart.

They were _hostile_.

That thought hammered its way home – yet, for all that weighed heavily on me (they would not hesitate to maim me, to kill me, if I were to slip up even in the tiniest), I felt lighter than the air.

Keeping my breathing steady (more difficult than usual, what with the heady rush of adrenaline making my heartbeats seem louder than gunshots) I slipped into the shadows, pouch in hand – always darting around their line of sight, ducking behind crates of seized goods that littered the room.

Thankfully, they already seemed rather inebriated.

So much so that none of them noticed me successfully slipping pinches of mystery powder into their drinks, even as I felt so certain one of them was going to whip around and see my hand snaking around a crate, spiking their glass of premier Rice Country sake.

It would be so easy to be caught.

 _But I wasn't_.

There was one rather hairy near-miss just as I slipped around a crate, when one of the bleary-eyed bandits (' _Koyanagi_ ', if I wasn't mistaken) caught the vanishing trail of my shadow. Realising my mistake as he gazed confusedly at the spot I'd just occupied, I held my breath, hands shaking from the stress and risk and the giddiness of the whole thing - yet he just as quickly dismissed it, taking a long gulp from his glass.

Only once I'd gotten back to the roof did I allow myself a breathy laugh.

I could… definitely see how this career would be attractive.

 _Damn_.

* * *

Watching as Satoko handed back Shoda his mystery drugs, he slumped further against the farmhouse walls. This mission just kept on getting progressively worse, with no upside in sight.

Catching bandits? Great!

Oh, but we can't just go hunt them down, of course not. That might not catch _all_ the bandits. Besides, one of the neighbouring villages tried that already, and they just came back, like a particularly tenacious weed.

So, tracking down their base. That might be cool.

Except that turned into reading through page after page of tiny handwriting, squinting through possibly the dullest thing he'd ever read in his life – _including_ the Academy textbook. Not only that, but then he had to sit through the shittiest meeting of his life, leap though trees at civilian pace for hours following some dumb bandit through the forest, and now was cold, damp, and miserable, crouched outside a partially abandoned farmhouse.

Worst part?

He didn't even get to do the cool stuff. No, Satoko-chan got all the chasing, spying, _ninja stuff_. He got 'sit right there Norio-kun' and 'stop fidgeting Norio-kun' and literally hadn't done a _thing_.

This was even worse than those weed pulling D-ranks.

Or 'catch Tora'.

Shivering a little at the reminder, he froze as the joint stares of the rest of his team fixed on him. Probably thought he was 'fidgeting' again, as if he were a child. Sometimes he felt as if they didn't care about him at all.

Every time he helped, they seemed so surprised.

Well, not Inoichi-sensei.

He could have a debate about whether anything could actually surprise Inoichi-sensei. If it did, he definitely didn't show it, which was impressive and terrifying in equal mixes. Someday, he aspired to have that level of control.

"Norio-kun, come on, they're unconscious." Blinking dazedly for a moment, he scrambled up, taking great joy in brushing off wet grass off him before jumping through the wide-open window into the bandit's base and immediately cringing.

"That's some alcohol."

"Rice Country." Briefly turning from where she was rifling through desks, she read the label on the sake bottles. "Pretty sure this is the really expensive stuff."

"Cool." Idly, he wandered around, looking at the labels on crates and occasionally peering inside – mostly vegetables. Lying on top of some stacks were handwritten notes about which route suppliers were taking for the next fortnight.

Damn.

Even the part where they were _inside the enemy base_ was as dull as everything else.

Being a ninja involved a lot more boring stuff than what he'd been led to believe when he signed up.

"Oh, I found something." Among the sounds of paper shuffling and muffled footsteps, Satoko's voice was sharp. Monotone, but sharp. Discerning. "An agreement between the governing body of Funagata Village and four people. Those said people agree to hijack supplies to neighbouring villages, and in return are rewarded monetarily, with weaponry and with 40% of what they seize."

"Guess we have who Koyanagi's orders came from, then." Shoda was painstakingly searching one of the bandits slumped over a table for weaponry, and had already removed several knives of a variety of makes and sizes off the unconscious man.

More rifling through paper, all the while Inoichi watched on with those pupil-less eyes of his.

Weird.

Hey, maybe he should ask about why Yamanaka eyes-

"Another agreement. This time a joint agreement between Funagata, the bandits, Sakurai Yasutake and Tsujimoto Toru." Squinting, Satoko tried to make out what looked just like squiggly lines from where he was standing. "Tsujimoto and Sakurai pass information to the bandits, and in return they are given property in Funagata, 10% of what's seized and once again, an unknown monetary reward."

"What else do we need to find, Inoichi-sensei?" Huffing, he propped himself up on the table in the centre of the room, muffling a yawn. "That's everyone accounted for, right?"

"Any documents that suggest them being part of a larger crime syndicate, for one." His reply came smoothly, as if he'd been prepared for that question. Probably had been. "Anything hinting at a larger organisation also taking part in this." A pause. "Or you could keep looking in crates. There might be something."

"Or more likely not, sensei." Picking up on Satoko's raised eyebrow in his direction, a white-hot flash of anger raced through his veins. "Look, you're always so surprised whenever I do anything-"

A spray of blood spotted his clothing in red, and behind him there was the unmistakable sound of something ( _someone_ ) collapsing.

Feeling himself shake, he turned around to look down at the now-corpse of one of the bandits on the floor, two kunai through his neck and spine – and looking up, he saw Satoko's outstretched arm, and her wide eyes as they stared blankly at the body on the ground.

* * *

 **A/N:**

originally this chapter and the next were supposed to be just 1 chapter but apparently that isn't happening.

oops.

anyway, here is the catch-up with you guys:

 **1.** I LOVE ALL 968 (at the time of writing, add or subtract as necessary) OF MY FOLLOWERS.

Seriously.

I mean it when I first wrote this that I thought it'd be a flop - like, I'd write 10k of it and get bored, and it would get like 10 followers. This is truly amazing. Also stressful. But mostly amazing.

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 **2.** Thank you so much to all of the reviewers who helped me regain my confidence and helped to encourage me to finish this chapter. You're the reason I came back to this.

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 **3.** I lost my memory stick with the plan for this story on it, so consider anything I had 'planned' in earlier chapters now null and void because I can't remember a thing that was in that plan oops

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 **4.** I have removed review replies from the bottom of the chapters and will now (try to) reply using the (previously unused) PM function. I still have the replies saved, but it was getting a bit cluttered lol

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 **5.** This story is no longer a guaranteed Shikamaru x OC ending. For now, consider it GEN. Probably won't stay that way, but I felt it was just a bit sad going through Satoko's whole (second) life just to end up with a predictable result.

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 **6.** New posting schedule (since I am genuinely having my heart and soul ripped out by School) - once a month as a minimum, with additional updates if I feel particularly inspired.

Just a note - if I were a betting man, I would bet on me breaking this schedule 2 months along the line.

Sorry.

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Anyway, I will be starting fic reccomendations at the end of each chapter from this day forth! (1-2 per chapter)

\- **nine** **point** **eight** by _XxZuiliu_

Uchiha Itachi chose his village over his clan, steeled his heart and chose peace over his own blood. Izumi did not. (By the natural order of things, one day a young girl would willingly lay down her life for her love, and along with it, the lives of all her kinsmen. But I was not that girl; I was not that Izumi.) [SI/OC, Uchiha!OC, AU]

also can I add literally anything by XxZuiliu as reccomended

\- **Kill** **Your** **Heroes** by _Evil_ _Is_ _A_ _Relative_ _Term_

Because, sometimes, we are what our adversaries make of us. Because Gatō only needed Zabuza to neutralize Kakashi. He isn't afraid of one little pink-haired genin. But even mice will bite when cornered. A story of where fear drives the most vulnerable member of Team Seven, from Wave and beyond.

I vote for best Sakura AU

also add any of above author's works as reccomended too lol

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 **Thank you!**

 **\- rosinban**


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